Ifeoma, Ope, Busola and Peace were once roommates and close pals in their tertiary years. After their studies, they all graduated and left. Then, life and time have happened to them differently as young former students and roommates, now turned into ladies and women. While they have been on each other’s mind intermittently. Then in 2001 or 2002 when the emergence of the new media, the global community, and internet space was sprouting like a fresh seed; Peace used the emerging trend and fished out the other three girls and it was a glorious homecoming. A big thanks to the new age whose various platforms brought the girls together again years ago.
In their various communications, Busola opted for a get-together in her father’s lounge on the island. Wao, it was, Wao and Wao as the four sisters finally met to catch up on old times.
‘Interestingly, just like men’s gathering, there is no way ladies would gather, even in church without weaving their experiences and stories around men. As the waiter served their food and drinks; there was a beep on Busola’s iPhone; she looked at the phone, pushed it away slightly with her cutlery and was the first to cast the stone. She started with her relationship with Dayo, and opened up to her friends, “I am not comfortable with Dayo anymore. I don’t think he is my dream man. Maybe I was not mature enough or was not careful in yielding to his request two years ago when we started dating.”
Peace quickly swallowed the bite in her mouth and snatched it from her by asking the big why. Busola, the last time we spoke, from your mien and laughter, I was almost getting ready for my uniform popularly known as aso-ebi. So, what has gone amiss? Busola’s facial expression signified her not-too-comfortable situation with Dayo. She says “In our everyday discussion, I do not think he loves his mother and I have a feeling he was not a well brought-up child. The girls argued politely, and then Ifeoma took the floor amidst steaming hot Chinese food. In what seems like a sermon on the mountain according to what her mother taught her; she said “I am glad you all know my mother from afar, she has always drawn it in my ears to cherish a man who loves his mother, that bond and affinity would make him love his wife too. Ope added to the story. “My aunt who raised me after my mother’s death is always strong on a man who listens; who is funny, who reads not just for examination because he will always be a wise man.
Ifeoma again reviewed the topic properly and felt the need to note these qualities down. “We cannot raise all these brilliant ideas without recording them for record and rehearsal purposes. She brought out her phone and pressed her record button, then said it out loud “What kind of a man do you want? Ope cleared her throat and said;
“I would love a man who accepts correction and changes his ways if he offends his partner. He will be a better person to live with and love. That man who is family-oriented, whose visions and ideas are bright will always be ready for responsibility and have a clear-cut vision about what he wants with his wife, children and relatives. He will not waste his time, neither would he waste yours as his wife.
Then, the list goes on. Gentle Peace read her riot act. “My mother also advised me to value a man who prays for his wife and children because he knows you are a gift from God. Again, a man who treats other women with respect will show his wife more respect. That singular man who is funny will not let you be bored even if you are angry. Peace is still vibrating and recording. She asked what about the man who brings up constructive ideas, not the one that is giving to endless smoking, drinking and clubbing? He is a mature person to run the life together with; a woman who discovers him will enjoy marital bliss.
As if it has gone into the second stanza like hymns. Ope again and said it is very important to cherish a man who does not insult his or your ex, even as breaking up has involved, this is because he enters into love, got entangled for the right reasons. Believe and love that man who allows you to see the nakedness of his weaknesses and strength, he has and will always have high trust for you as his spouse.
Busola seems to be the only one in a serious relationship with Dayo. She has seen some red flags as a wise girl. She said to her friends, “Do not disrespect a man who prays for you as his fiancée or wife, he already knows you are a gift from God. A man who respects his father has learned true manhood and should be associated with him. In my little understanding of a relationship between a man and a woman, I would personally cherish a man who values intimacy above sex; this attitude shows he will be faithful.
Ifeoma who has listened carefully all these while asked rhetorically. “What do you ladies think about a man who is interested in your dreams as a woman and as a person, what does that show? It simply shows he cares about your future and is willing to protect it. Such a man should be cherished. Again, I will also cherish a man who respects my decisions and does not rush me because he will forever see me as a life partner, not a woman to be dominated over. I am also particular about a man who sees my potential, will not rest until my dreams come through, corrects me politely and pushes me to do better; I will also appreciate such a man because he is a great keeper.
Forever I will humble myself before a man who starts small, who is consistent, not a jack of all trades because he will grow in his steadiness as a dependable ally.
Ope openly confided in her friends that if had her way, would marry a man from East because of their hard work, self-motivation, and diligence with little or nothing; it is in their nature to go to places and make their families proud. Still reeling out her views on what she wants in her man, she adds that a man who is not intimidated by other men when they notice your beauty or strength is a very secure man. He is not insecure and not intimidated at all.
I will also value a man who is into charity, who has human kindness; will treat strangers and less privilege with dignity out of kind-heartedness. With a man who other men respect, I can put my treasure in him because there is a worthy reason. That same man who loves his biological and non-biological children, an over all father figure will definitely have an honourable legacy in life. I am particular about a man who respects women, because by his attitude, he will respect the gender folk around him, his mother, sisters, wife, nieces, daughters and many more.
Peaceful peace concluded by adding that she will treasure a man with great vision, because he will challenge and build me as his spouse, he is a man who knows where he is going to and would lead right. Then again, I am singularly particular about a man who keeps good friends, following that adage that says, tell me who your friends are, I will tell who you are. His character could be told by the friends he keeps either way, good or bad. I am not in for a stingy man; you will beg, be pains and lack.
Above all, I will bow and appreciate a man that seeks the face of God selflessly on bended knees, through supplication, praise and worship. He knows that the future is greater, brighter and bigger.
Now, in all these dear Sisters, how many men meets the standard of what the ladies has raised? A man who meets all these should almost be a saint. Therefore, ladies while you want the best in a man, know it that no one man can possess all these qualities, so if you meet a man who has 60% of what Busola, Ope, Peace and Ifeoma have reeled out here as the qualities ladies want in man, please go and celebrate. In all honesty, these very informed ladies represent most women’s view which points at one factor. A man is the great institution in a union.