By bolatito adebayo
Mrs. Titilayo Adeleye is an architect and the chief executive of Eden Group, which has interest in architectural design, properties, interior design and project management. The renowned architect and former vice chairman of the Lagos State Chapter of Nigerian Institute of Architects shared with us her relationship with her mum and how she has helped her become what she is today.
What’s the name of your mum?
My Mum is Chief Mrs. Olufunke Iluyemi
What does she do?
She is a retired educationist; she used to be a schoolteacher and later a school principal for so many years.
What was it like being the daughter of a teacher?
It was quite interesting and very challenging. I had to be above board in everything I did because everyone expected much more from my siblings. This is more so that my mum was a school principal and my dad a school principal. So everybody expected excellence and impeccable behaviour from us and so we couldn’t afford to get into trouble and the few times we did, we had a lot of explanations to do.
What were the things that got you into trouble with your mum as a child?
I have five siblings and my mum never liked us to quarrel or fight with one another which was nearly impossible. So, we used to get into trouble for that. The fall out of that today is that as an adult, I am not very good at quarreling. That has turned out not to be an advantage all the time.
What influence did she have on your career choice?
My mum would always say to me, “be the best you can be.” We are six like I mentioned earlier and to the glory of God, all of us are excelling in our chosen careers today. My mum always encouraged us to be the best in whatever the profession we chose. She gave us her full support and used to visit us so much even in university that our classmates used to tease us about it.
What was your mum like back then?
My mum was very strict and she made it very obvious that she expected the best from us. My mum studied and graduated from the University of Ibadan, where she read English Literature. As a former English tutor, she was a voracious reader and one of the few ladies of her generation groomed by missionary sisters. She insisted on impeccable manners, diction and etiquette for us. Even for meals at home, we used to set the table, made use of proper cutlery and observed all the necessary table manners. She ensured we travelled far and near and took us out regularly on family outings to parks, shopping malls, etc. So, at the time we were leaving home for university about 16, there was hardly anything anyone could use to entice us because we had seen it all and been to so many places. When I got to the university, each time my friends were excited about some things, I just used to look on because those things were things I had seen or done before.
What were your teenage years like?
I was a quiet child. So my teenage years were quite smooth. Being quiet and a bit intelligent made it easy for me to get away with a lot of the teenage excesses with my mum.
What are the things that make your mum happy?
I think her family makes her happy. Once our children, grandchildren and husband are doing well and her family is okay, I think she is happy.
What are the things that make her sad?
My mum doesn’t like strife or negativity. She feels that everything should always go smoothly. Unfortunately life is never like that.
Who are you closer to your mum or dad?
I don’t know really because they are both like one (Laughs)
So what did your mum tell you about boys?
My mum belonged to that first batch of educated clique in her generation, so they were not that explicit or vocal about boys or sex education. I think they just demanded of you to be of good behavior, you don’t have to know the reasons why, just be good. Period.
Tell us about a dish you enjoy most that she cooks?
That will be obe ila asepo. We are from Ondo and that’s a local delicacy and I have tried as much as possible to get mine to taste the way my mum’s dish does but I simply can’t get the way she cooks hers, It’s just special! Even my children have asked me many times “why is grandma’s soup more delicious than yours?” (Laughs).
What is the greatest advice she has ever given to you?
My mum will always tell you to be patient and know that all will be well at the end of the day. Her favorite Yoruba adage is one that says no one’s stomach can ever burst from an overdose of patience. My mum inculcated the love of God in me and taught me that prayer and trust in God work in all situations
What is the greatest sacrifice that she has ever made that you hold dear to your heart?
My mum is an extremely intelligent person; she is a gifted and talented person. But because my dad’s job always used to take him around the country on transfers, my mum insisted that we all always moved together as a family and stayed together and that meant her sometimes taking lower positions than she was qualified for and her own career not moving at a fast pace. But she didn’t mind as long as she was with her husband and children. I think that is a great sacrifice she made for us all.
What features did you pick from your mum?
My mum has very good taste. She is a very fashionable and elegant person and I think I took some of that from her.
What other features did you take from her?
I think I also inherited some of her love for reading but physically I look more like my dad.
Now that she is a grandma how is she?
To the glory of God, my mum is still energetic, strong and very fashionable. She is the incumbent Iyalode of Ondo Kingdom and even at 80, I still can’t match her social itinerary. I admire my mum a lot and I pray that God grants her good health, long life and all the happiness she deserves. She has given us the best foundation any child could ask for. My dad, my siblings and I are forever grateful to her for that.