…A’Ibom gets highest shares, Osun least Uche Usim, (Abuja); Adewale Sanyaolu The three tiers of government shared a total of N6.418 trillion in 2017 from the Federation Account Allocation Committee (FAAC). The figure represents an increase of 25.8 per cent and 6.8 per cent when compared to total disbursements of N5.1 trillion and N6.011 trillion shared…
(The piece you are about to read is from futurescope.com)
The incidence of young women marrying men much advanced in years is nothing new. In fact the patriarchal underpinnings of society make it easier for older men to have young brides rather than for mature women to find social acceptance with far younger male partners. And like with many long-held practices, there are certain advantages to marrying a man older to you.
1. He is successful: The top draw of marrying an older man is perhaps the material success that you can partake of as his wife. An older man is far more likely to be established and successful in his career than a younger guy, not to mention being debt-free. This means that you can live the good life and afford luxuries where as being with a younger guy would have taken years of economic living to be able to afford even a part of those comforts.
TIP: You must ask your man the right questions before you marry him. This will help you determine whether it is in your interest to commit for a lifetime.
2. He is mature: The more experiences a person has, the more likely he is to be emotionally mature. This is a huge advantage as compared to younger men who are forever getting jealous of your mingling with other men or expecting their fragile egos to be massaged every now and then. An older and more mature man is less likely to be affected by petty concerns and ego-hassles. His long experience would have given him a wider perspective on the really important things in life, an essential factor in any successful relationship. Perhaps one reason why Jacqueline Kennedy decided to marry the much older but more subdued Aristotle Onassis after having lived as the wife of a very colorful and charismatic but younger John Kennedy.
3. He is more stable in life: Professionally as well as emotionally, an older man is more likely to have achieved stability as compared to a younger guy who is still experimenting with careers and relationships. You can reasonably expect an older guy to have put the wild days of wine and women behind them and now be more receptive to the calm and stability that people look for in relationships. A good example of such a marriage is the celebrity couple Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones. However not all older guys can or even want to tone down their colorful personality and like Hugh Hefner continue to live on the wild side.
4. He is more responsible: A long and successful career implies that a guy is capable of fulfilling his professional responsibilities. So you can expect him to be similarly sensitive to the needs and obligations in a personal relationship as well. This is a far cry from your younger ex who couldn’t be trusted to put the mortgage in the back nor to remember picking up your son from his piano lessons. In fact if you are eager to have children, you might find an older man willing to start a family as compared to younger partners who would hem and haw and complain that they just don’t feel ready for such immense responsibilities. A celebrity example of such a marriage would be Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
5. He is sexually experienced as well: One of the biggest disadvantages of marrying an older man is supposed to be an unhappy sex life or a lack of sexual attraction. One only needs to look at the delectable Harrison Ford to know that the much younger Calista Flockhart is not complaining of that one. On the contrary older men with their long years in relationships could be more sexually knowledgeable than younger guys and more importantly, eager to give please their wives unlike the young fellas who are too interested in their own satisfaction to notice what their partners are feeling. Also modern drugs like Viagra have made it far easier for older men to have an active sex life as might have not been possible a few decades ago. Finally men are able to father children long into their years, witness rock legend Mick Jagger who became a dad at the age of 57.
6. He is less likely to stray: He is less likely to stray as compared with younger guys who are still to make up their minds about what they want in a partner. An older man who has seen and done it all knows the value of security and loyalty in a relationship. At this stage of life he wants a companion and a soul mate and is unlikely to be interested in horsing around the town or looking to pick up women in bars and nightclubs.
7. He will have more time for you: A man who is comfortably settled in his profession will be at your disposal more often than a young guy who is still struggling to establish his credentials and prove himself professionally. Moreover when your older partner retires, you can look forward to having him around to help you with the house or kids instead of always being out either at the workplace or with his beer-mates.
8. You will be more open-minded: Marrying a man much older to you may make you suspect in the eyes of many. You may be accused of being a gold-digger or a manifestation of your partner’s mid-life crisis. However while facing and getting past such issues, you will gradually learn to be more open to other unconventional relationships too, for instance where the man is much younger in years to his partner or the partners come from different ethnic backgrounds. This broad-mindedness is by no means worth discounting in these times when people are increasingly falling prey to divisions based on religious, ethnic or sexual identities.
9. He will help you live in the present: Too much importance is given in today’s culture to plans and ambitions for future. Young people obsessed with making good often forget to relish what they already have – the present. Moreover a person who has yet to find his feet professionally cannot afford to spend a lot of time on stopping and smelling the roses. On the other hand, being with an older person will make you appreciate the beauty of the present moment and the significance of living it fully since before long you will be nearing his age.
10. Finally, A man with longer and wider experiences may make your life much more interesting than it would have been with a younger guy. He can not only advise you on practical or financial matters but open your eyes to the variety and beauty that the world has to offer.
So if you are dating an older man, don’t hesitate to take your relationship to the next level if you know that is what you both truly want. After all as the wonderful song by Aaliyah goes, ‘age ain’t nothing but a number’.
►See you next week