Do we talk about the women who use every imaginable excuse to avoid intimacy with their husbands but very available to a younger man Sugar Boy?
Agatha Emeadi
Come on my sisters, let us reason together. Truly, we need to examine some of the things we do in order to make necessary changes that would help us have happier homes. When wives complain about their husbands’ bad character, especially in relationship with side chicks and late home coming, my first question is: before you crucify your husband, have you taken stock of yourself? Are you a worthy Proverb 31 wife? Can you convincingly tell yourself that you are like the virtuous wife spoken about in the Bible? I agree men have their own issues, but there are some women who are just unbearable and unmanageable. It is not all the time that men offend women. Women who put up attitude exist among us.
Plus-sized ladies make best wives
Now, a woman who pays no attention to her husband, but prefers to be in the midst of men outside, should we applaud her as a wife? The couple started out as soul mates and then wedded. Today, that same man who ignored his family and married you, now means nothing to you. You do not care about him again. His feelings are no longer important, his ideas and dreams mean nothing. You are not interested in his comfort; laughter has been replaced with nagging and murmuring. You have drifted apart and are now roommates. Full attention is focused on your children, not your loving honey again. You saw your husband before the children and that is a fact. Since he means nothing to you anymore, someone else would happily welcome him because you pushed him out. And he gets the centrespread too!
Have you become so big to attend to your husband? The domestic servant does everything for him. Instead you have turned into a parrot, de-marketing your husband, telling his woes to whomever cares to listen. Woman, tread with caution.
A dirty and untidy wife cannot appeal to her husband. When you walk into the homes of such women, disarrangement will be the order of the day. Her children are usually unkempt. Her carelessness affects even her sitting, chewing and yawning position. Didn’t an adage say cleanliness is next to godliness? If you are a ‘dirty busy bee’ wife, you are causing your family embarrassment and gradually pushing your
hubby outside. Mind you your husband would not receive visitors in an offensive environment.
I know a friend’s husband who cannot stand a dirty environment; he rather prefers a decent home to super meals. Many wives have thrown personal hygiene to the winds. The hair and mouth smell, armpit and nails are unsightly; if you are a dirty wife who irritates your husband, you need to change immediately.
Recently, there was a horrible experience during an altar call when a pastor asked the congregant assembled before to wave to the Lord. The clash of offensive armpit odours that wafted into the air around the pulpit area was choking. A husband would come back to meet his wife with wrapper tied across her chest sweating it out with heat rashes. Her welcome song to him is how NEPA people came and removed wire from the pole. Should there be connectivity here? No, look descent and wait for your husband to come back home. Use your God-given wisdom and sexuality to lure your man at home. There are men who run home at the close of work to see their families and the ones who end up at joints at the close of work. When you make the home uncomfortable for him, he seeks and finds rest outside. Some women would say, I do virtually everything, yet he does not like to stay at home. There is no man who hates his family, be watchful and careful.
I recall the lovely thing an elderly woman said while counselling some women. She said her husband was lady’s man, but she deployed her feminine wisdom and attributes to lure him back to herself. She would smartly and politely ask her husband, did you hear that an estate is selling a plot of land for N50,000.00? Let us get there and see things for ourselves. She would remember a building that needs painting and would call on her husband to stand with her as a husband to win the contract and add to the family account since the children were growing. She would wake her husband up early and encourage him, both would drive round town to see new designs of buildings, meet new landlords, exchange pleasantries. With time his rascality reduced greatly because someone was luring him into responsibility.
All women are not the same. There are some women who are lionesses who put in all their best and make a happy home. I am referring to wives who gang up with their children against their husbands and their father. You are nauseating and not a God fearing wife. There was the story about a wife whose children were undergraduates. Their dad always gave money to them through the wife, but she kept telling the children that she was the one responsible for their education. Then one day, the father asked his son to wash his car. The boy rudely queried why and said, after all, you are not the one paying my fees. The man wept bitterly and used one stone to kill two birds. When schools resumed, he pretended he didn’t know. Two weeks passed by, his daughter came to him and asked, ‘Daddy when are we returning to school? He said to her, ask your mother since she is the one paying school bills according to your brother. They went to their mother who had no school fees for them. Exactly three weeks after, the man summoned an early morning meeting with all fees on the table and asked his children who told them that he was not the one paying their fees. They pointed at their mother. She was so overwhelmed by shame that she apologized to her husband. The man felt betrayed and painfully said, ‘So if I had died, my own children would have thought I didn’t train them because that was what they were told.’
From a polygamous home comes this account: the first wife brainwashed her children and made them believe that their father didn’t care about them but loves only the second wife and her children. This led the first son to write off the father and severed relationship with him. His father made frantic efforts to explain things to him, but the son rebuffed him and preferred to hold onto the false information from the mother. The man eventually died a very old teacher. When his diary was read, it turned out that he left instructions that nobody should do anything until his successor returned, to take decisions. He left a comprehensive note of his lifetime and warned that no one should contest leadership of the family with his first blood. This son reluctantly returned for his father’s burial to fulfil all righteousness. When the elders of the community handed him his father’s diary, he read the reason for the second wife. He learnt that his mother strayed with another man, but his father deliberately allowed her to remain married to him because of her children. Then he remarried as punishment for her. His son wept profusely, turned to his mother and called her ‘deceptive mother’. He regretted all his actions towards his father but reconciliation was too late.
How about the idle, lazy wives who spend time on Facebook? While your husband enjoys the company of women who think deep, you live your life on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Telemundo and Zee World. Get busy, develop yourself, go back to school, be empowered as a woman and be on top of your game with submissiveness and support. When he does everything, he goes out at will.
If you have the ugly practice of stalking his phone and social media space, trying to identify his girlfriends, you definitely need to see a shrink or go for deliverance. Learn to carry yourself with dignity and respect. That side chick will run away when she sights you as a worthy madam and sole shareholder in “My Husband Limited.”
Do we talk about the women who use every imaginable excuse to avoid intimacy with their husbands but very available to a younger man Sugar Boy? Truly, such women are a disgrace to womanhood. A portion of hell is waiting for wives who call their ex-boyfriends to tell them how their husbands don’t satisfy them sexually and how small his organ is.
Certainly, men are not saints. But the fact is that an Igbo adage says, Nwanyi bu uno (a woman is the home). Whatever you are not doing right, begin to amend it now. Your husband is not a robot, he needs you and that is why he married you. Learn new things to improve yourself and new ways to re-attract and keep your husband, your Samson, to yourself. Away from the Delilahs out there and sure destruction.