Really, many marriages are not showing healthy signs as some women are now adopting timetables for when they would have sex with their husbands, just like schools have timetables that specify which subjects would be taught on particular days and time periods. This curious development is the latest trend.
That this is happening indicates that such women may have grievances against their husbands and therefore resort to this means in expressing it. Truth be told, this is not best way of going about. It is more fitting for such women to speak up and aim to resolve the issues involved.
As I thought about the emerging trend, I recalled how my late father used to admonish one of my distant uncles, who he told to allow his woman to rule at a certain stage of the marriage. What prompted the advice was that Uncle Goddy came with his new wife, to pay homage to him. In the course of the conversation, my father said to him: “At a certain period in your relationship, allow your woman to rule.” It appears today, we are right in the era of women determining things in marital union, including the frequency and timing of sexual intercourse with their husbands!
The shock of the reality of the situation came home to me when I watched on my phone a YouTube video on one of the interactive sessions of Evangelist Ebuka Obi with members of the Zion Prayer Movement Outreach, where an argument ensued between the women who were in support and against couples having sex timetable. The women in support were in pain and bitter over the unhappiness they felt in their marriage while the other group of wise women held the firm view that when a, man meets the mandatory traditional requirement of paying the dowry, he becomes entitled to sexual intercourse with the wife, any time, any day.
A well known fact is that a whole lot of women often bottle up grievances against there husbands and then use denial of sex as a weapon to fight back. Therefore, this is a serious call on husbands to sit up in their sexual responsibilities. A golden adage has it that money does not buy love, rather what buys love are the show of care, reassurance, hugging and tender touching, which set the tone for and make a big difference especially during the wee hours of the night. Let it be said loud and clear to careless, romantically clueless men that your women need the best touch from you at all times. Those cherished private times rewrite stories, rebuild broken fences, preserve relationships and heal wounds.
Henrietta Peters, a sister in the church cried out loud that her husband of 12-years does not touch her at the right places. “It was my 39th birthday which I looked forward to with excitement. And when the day arrived, we were all in an exciting mood as few neighbours and colleagues surprised me with cakes and goodies. The day was fun-filled and happy for us all. Then, after all the visitors had gone, and the children had gone to bed in their room, I looked around the house to be sure everything was in order and thereafter took my bath. I was bubbling, full and ready for a fantastic memorable night of marital fun with my husband to mark my birthday. As I joined my husband in bed, I expected his hands to run over me, caressing and stirring up feelings of pleasure in me. Alas, no reaction from him. Even when I practically laid on him, there was no response. I was confused and angry; then wondered what was happening. Even on my birthday? My mind went back to my days as a student with my ex-boyfriend who would not let be. He would say, “the best birthday celebration is the two of us on the bed all day.” He would take me to the height of satisfaction. Angrily, I asked, ‘Will there be no flight to Jerusalem tonight, even on my birthday? He grudgingly said,” give me some time, we will.” I stood up, took a little whisky and slept off.
Peggy Nsikak, a petty trader in a school environment complained seriously that her man sexually treats her like a mini-prostitute. “My husband does not know the essence of romance, and what it does to take a woman to Cloud-9 and back. We have had this issue over the years, so instead of beating about the bush, I joined the league of women, to draw a semi timetable for him, stating when I would be available. This brings me to the queation: what happens on a day when the man’s third leg is eager and primed for action but the timetable makes no provision for him that day? Peggy said: “He will bear it or bribe me, especially when I am nursing a baby.”
Hear Moriam Abdul: “My own timetable resides in my mind, and not spelt out.” She keeps wondering why her man is so inconsiderate and careless during oil rig exploration. “The moment is fine, he does not care about my feeling, he would just rush out, not looking at me at all. He knows what turns the table for me, but will simply refuse to do it. Therefore, the best solution is to keep him on an undisclosed timetable with a ready disarming excuse that will throw him off balance.
Well, most women are no longer interested in what the Holy Book said regarding submission and two becoming one. Rather, their satisfaction, wellbeing, and happiness is paramount which comes with that expected true love for two committed people.
Most shocking, disgusting and unacceptable is the fact that when a man is in dire need of his woman to satiate his burning desire, he will get the creed of sex timetable; but I trust what a rough man can do at that critical moment, which might not be funny after all.
Interestingly, while nosing around for the reason of the sex timetable, women opened up to tell that they need their husband closer than they think. Abdul continues while almost speaking the mind of other women “We enjoy that cuddle that comes after a thriller with our husbands. It is so reassuring and loving, such times spent together strengthens relationships and heals wounds without knowing it. While they cuddle is on, let them also whisper some pleasing, romantic and reassuring words into our ears. Ojiugo Adegbesan agreed that was how she got her marriage proposal from her boyfriend the. “We were both medical personnels attached to a hospital as youth corps members in Kazaure, Jigawa state. It was love at first sight and we saw the obvious signs, then hit it up and started dating. Our first night was super and Bolu said to me “I go wife you honestly’ and true to his words, we got married almost immediately after our service year and have progressed in all areas of life.” Such moments bring out the best in a man and a woman as well. Idoronye Ukut said “When my husband rushes out on me, I usually think I wasn’t good enough for him, probably, someone does it better with him. On a second thought, I stopped blaming myself and asked him to do the needful. That is the point where we are supported by sex-timetable. Probably, men do not understand why their women crave for such moments. Abdul again says, it is more of an affection and devoted moment for most women. One can use that opportunity to discuss all that needs to be discussed both the good and bad. It has not ended. Women also wants their men to go the extra mile and do the final cleaning. As the clean themselves up, they can extend that cleaning to their women especially with a clean towel in warm water. “It is heavenly.” says Abdul. Women want their men to be more concentrated, loving and caring. Nsikak says her unique selling point is talking about it after the show, I want to hear sexier things, discuss the exploration, rate my performance, tell me what you enjoyed more at that moment. I need the wild thought because I am your wife and not your side-chick. Why would side-chicks enjoy our men more than us. I am the home side-chick. If he insists, serve him with a sex-time table.
My dearest brothers; the woman have spoken. Do not let this be one of those complaints that is waved into the thin air. This is no joke. If you do not want to be placed on a sex-timetable, please give your women whatever they need in the other room, do not give your best to your side-chick and come to your legal partner with weak, wearied and tired performance.
