By Simeon Mpamugoh
Recently, many women drawn from the entertainment, business and the academic sectors gathered at the Sheraton Hotel, Ikeja, Lagos, for an interactive event that enabled women to talk freely about their sexuality.
The theme of the discussion, which was facilitated by Sterling Bank’s One Woman brand, was “Self Love: Impact On Your Life from Bedroom to Boardroom.”
Popular actress, Kate Henshaw, who spoke on “Self Love and Your Body,” urged women who have low self-esteem to talk to a specialist, preferably someone other than a pastor, about it.
“It is unfortunate that most women don’t like to ask for help because they feel people would laugh at them. But the truth is we must either ask for help or we find it within, on our own,” she said.
Chief executive officer, Designs Option Limited, Mrs. Ifeyinwa Ighodalo, described a sexually confident woman as bold and presumptuous in manner.
“A woman who is confident should be so in all spheres of life. One of the ways a woman battling low self-esteem can come out of it would be through prayers: join a good fellowship group and seek help. Low self-esteem is something that can be overcome. It is a choice and decision one needs to make through reading other people’s story and how they conquered it,” Ighodalo said.
For clinical psychologist, Dr. Maymunah Kadiri, who spoke on “Self Love and Sex,” a woman married to a well-organised man already has an edge.
“A woman should know her man as a rule of the thumb, after knowing herself. If a woman is not aware of herself, there is no way she could intuitively be able to manage a relationship when the doors are closed,” she said.
Kadiri called on women to be sexually aware and driven, and then enjoy sex:“It is not just about having sex, you must enjoy it.”
“Watch any woman who is happy and healthy, with a good sleep, mind, body and soul synchronising. When she wakes up the following morning, she is smiling at her partner. Such a woman has had good sex with her partner the previous night.”
Mrs. Mercy Makinde, asked why some rely on porn films to revive their sexual lives. She noted that what people see on TV or the social media were other people’s sex life, so people should create their own sex life.
She said: “Your partner can discover your G-spot without watching any porn. And you don’t have to masturbate to improve your sexual life when you can discover it with your partner,” she said.
She observed that women who were circumcised might find it difficult to reach orgasm, as “such women need good men who know how to go around them to achieve orgasm.”
Speaking further on women reaching orgasm, sexologist, Orbby Agwuncha, recommended coital alignment technique (CAT), noting that orgasm was therapeutic to women.
“Self-love plays a huge role in a woman’s sexual life. If a woman doesn’t love her body, she would never enjoy sex. Whether a woman is fat, slim, hippy, she’s got boobs, fair complexion, etc, she should learn to love herself and forget about others’ viewpoints about her. There are men that love women who are skinny, plump, and fair complexioned while others love those who’ve got big butts; a woman should know she belongs to somebody no matter her features,” Agwuncha said.
Tope Odigie, who presents Your View on TVC, said the essence of the programme was to make women know that there was no ideal body size, shape, or face.
“Whatever shape God has endowed a woman with, she should make the best use of it,” she said.