Marriage is not a joke, it is serious business. It’s not for children who are not emotionally, spiritually and physically mature. Marriage is a union between two committed people who are willing to face life’s problems together and win.

While some men and women look out for physical attributes in their prospective spouses, others are captured by intelligence, vision and kindness. But the end result is staying committed to each other till death do you part. That doesn’t include beating your wife to death or stabbing your husband in his sleep.

Men and women have the right to outline what they want when it comes to choosing life partners. But when you hear some of the things some people want in a man or woman, you begin to wonder what it has to do with living with another person through thick and thin.

One of such funny criteria for men is their massive hunt to marry virgins. They don’t even stop to consider the hypocrisy behind their search. You have slept with almost every girl you come across, yet you want a virgin wife? The Lord is your muscle. Why do you think you deserve one to start with?

You are known for your promiscuity in your compound. You don’t even spare your neighbour’s house girls, yet you think you have the right to state your prospective wife must be a virgin. What happens to all the girls you have penetrated and disvirgined?

You are a community penis in your area. As a matter of fact, people shield their girls from you because you have the ability to break into any vagina. You just can’t stay away from women. You don’t even respect your friend’s sisters and relatives while depositing your semen, yet your wife must be a virgin. Who will marry the ones you have sampled if all men want virgins for wives?

You attend church just to climb and come down from choristers’ bodies. As a matter of fact, you move from one chorister to another with sugar coated lies. You know the sizes of their breasts and how their vaginas look like. You make jokes about their bodies with your friends. You even impregnate some and tell them to abort your babies because you are not ready for marriage. Yet, you want a virgin for a wife.

I am not saying you don’t have the right to want a virgin wife, but don’t you think you are not being truthful to yourself? Are you a virgin yourself? Why do you need a virgin when you can’t keep your long thing in your boxers? Do you think you are above being what you demand from another person?

One day, I met a guy who kept complaining about how girls these days have been used by men and there are no virgins anymore for him to marry. He went on and on about how women don’t respect themselves anymore like in the days of our mothers.

I asked him if he was a virgin, he said no. I told him to go and look for his kind before he frustrates another person’s child with his community service. He said that men are not required to be virgins but women have everything to lose in their husband’s houses by not being virgins.

This logic is so flawed. This is the way society promotes promiscuity in men but demand virginity from women. Are these women not going to end up with philandering men who believe it is only women that should keep their bodies for their future spouses?

Are we not creating imbalance with this erroneous belief that women should keep their bodies but men are free to sow their wild oats? Why should women go through the pains of staying chaste because they want to get married while men keep hopping from one hole to another because we have come to accept it as the norm?

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Growing up, a woman’s virginity was such a big issue and a high value was placed on it. From time immemorial, a woman’s virginity has been seen as one of her most prized possessions and a certain respect was accorded any woman who remained a virgin till marriage.

Those days, a maiden was expected to go into marriage as a virgin. If on the first night after the marriage her husband discovered she was not a virgin, her family gets instant condemnation. No one asks the husband if he’s a virgin. No one cares about that. It is women who must be virgins. That lie they sold us that a virgin will have her husband’s heart forever is no longer working these days because women are also demanding that their men be virgins too.

I have come with the gospel of reality and common sense to you today. Being a virgin doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage. That you married a virgin as a woman doesn’t mean your husband won’t be sleeping with your house girls and his workers if he doesn’t have self control.

Some men and women believe that being a virgin guarantees a happy home as the virgin’s husband will cherish her like gold. They believe he won’t have the mind to cheat on his virgin wife and that she will also earn respect and trust from him. They have not considered virgins married to bad and abusive husbands. They don’t consider virgins married to stingy and uncaring men. Will their marriages last with all these hidden problems because the wife was a virgin?

I think people should focus on important things instead of running after virgins. How does your man or woman treat you when people are not looking? How do they treat people beneath them? How do they react when things don’t go as planned? Do they care for you when you are sick? Do they love your person and not your financial acquisitions? Will they stand by you through good and bad times?

If you are married to the wrong person, your virginity is the last thing that can keep your marriage. If your husband or wife lacks respect for you, virginity won’t guarantee that both of you will have a lasting marriage. If your man or woman is possessive, jealous and ill-mannered, virginity won’t stick you together forever.

Some men erroneously believe that marrying virgin wives will prevent their women from being promiscuous. You are on a long thing. The day that woman will meet a man who can work her body from her head to her toes, you will know that virginity is not a guarantee. The day she discovers that you don’t dig her site well, you are a goner.

Is it not funny that some men claim that marrying a woman who is not a virgin is like eating leftover food, yet their own left over foods are screaming their names all over the place. I don’t know who they want to eat their own leftovers.

Let me say it again, marrying a virgin doesn’t guarantee a happy, long lasting marriage if both partners don’t respect their marital vows and remain committed to each other till death. Marrying a virgin doesn’t mean you will enjoy a lifelong union with your spouse, believing that sham will break your heart in the long run.

That a woman is a virgin doesn’t mean she will make a good wife. That a man married as a virgin doesn’t mean he no longer has issues with anger and jealousy. That a couple got married as virgins is not a pointer to being married happily for ever if there are issues that they have refused to work on together.

People should focus on more important things when it comes to choosing their spouses and not carry virginity on their heads like gala sellers in traffic.