Parenting is hard. It’s arguably the hardest job in the world. Children are influenced by everything around them -their peers, teachers -but it’s undeniable that their parents have one of the biggest roles to play in shaping their future.

No parent is perfect, but it has been proven that the tone of voice in which you speak to your children, the way your sentences are phrased or the labels you give to your children could have unpleasant, long-term repercussions. These things can go a long way in damaging their self esteem and ultimately, their future.

Comparing your children to their mates is wrong. You may love your children on an equal basis, but if one has achieved more and you have a tendency to introduce them to people with a qualifier, but don’t do so for their sibling, that can have an impact.

That’s the kind of bullying that’s very subtle. It is insulting to compare your child to others. You are pulling your child down. You are indirectly saying they are lacking something present in the other child. Parents can be guilty and not be aware of the effects of what they say, but children notice these things more than you may realise.

Using labels and playful nicknames can seem harmless, but they could actually scar a child for life if used repeatedly. Of course, you shouldn’t wrap your child in cotton wool, but name-calling from a parent can seriously damage a child’s confidence. It can lead a child to develop feelings of resentment towards the parent and start to believe they truly are lazy or stupid too.

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Living your children’s lives and planning their careers without taking their own talents and aspirations into consideration is one wrong move many parents make. There are parents who believe that they know what is best for their children.

They plan their children’s life from birth to marriage to career and beyond. They believe that they are making their kids’ lives easier and less stressful. However, they are doing irreparable damage and making their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices. Many people are living their parents’ lives, not their own authentic lives, much to their regret.

Letting favouritism influence discipline is bad for your children’s future. Although many parents probably always deny it, some do have favourites, and often the wrongdoings of those children go unpunished whereas their siblings’ don’t.

When children argue, it’s paramount to listen objectively to each of them so you can react fairly. And even if older siblings should be more sensible, it’s important not to neglect their emotional needs either. Parents should be aware of how they discipline their children. They have to do away with putting down or emotionally labelling their children.

Correction and discipline are meant to improve and enhance a child’s sense of self and help a child become self-disciplined, self-motivated, and self-determined. They are not meant to demoralize children and to make them feel less than what they are.