The past week witnessed the gatherings of parents and guardians at various CBT (computer-based test) centres across the country as candidates poured out to write the United Tertiary Matriculation Examination, conducted by the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board, JAMB. Scoring a high mark in the UTME is a major requirement that improves the chances of candidates securing admission into their preferred courses in universities, polytechnics and Education colleges.
• Prof. Oloyede
On the day of the examination, the ever-doting parents accompanied their children, to help them locate the CBT centres, some of which were in hard-to-reach places, and in areas the young people had never known before being assigned to write the UTME in such areas.
The presence of the parents who hovered around the examination areas was a clear violation of the specific directive given this year by JAMB, banning parents from being within the vicinity of the CBT centres. The directive hit at the core of the reason parents accompany their children to the places they are writing the exam: to be with them in the spirit while the candidates go in to write the exam.
As part of my reportorial duties as a journalist, I monitored activities at CBT centres within my ward to have first-hand information about the examination scenario and the body language of the prospective undergraduates.
I pleasantly discovered that JAMB/UTME’s earlier ban on indecent dressing, which can distract other candidates, was strictly enforced by the examiners. Skimpily dressed students were denied access to the examination halls. Female candidates that exposed their mid-riff, wore transparent clothing or ripped jeans were not allowed inside the examination hall. The tiniest earrings never made it into the exam hall either. Screaming-designed clothes and belts with heavy or big buckles were all removed and dropped outside the examination hall. All coloured, very low hair were also banned from the halls. Hijabs were not allowed into the examination hall. No jewellery, including wristwatches, no matter how tiny was allowed. No female candidate wore bum shorts, even proper shorts or even spaghetti straps.
It was a big kudos to Prof. Is-haq Oloyode and members of his team at the CBT centres, who did not collect tips to allow students who flouted JAMB’s directive on indecent dressing to write the exam. For once, I saw Generation Z show respect to authority without grumbling. None of them complained, queried or even fought the examiners. Instead, they looked for immediate solutions. I was impressed that most of the candidates exemplified the statement: dress the way you want to be addressed. For once they were forcibly separated from their greatest and chief distractor: android phones. Trust businessmen and women who were on hand to rent out full-length black pairs of trousers and below-the-knee skirts to defaulting candidates who wore short clothes or ripped jeans to the centres.
As the authorities stood their ground, to enforce Prof Oloyede’s directive on responsible dressing, it was a pitiable sight watching Mr Saheed Ojo, a father and printer, whose daughter came to the CBT centre with long braided hair, fully decorated with colourful beads. Unknown to him, the moment his daughter was denied access to the examination hall because of her long-beaded hair, he was visibly shaking while struggling to cut off the beads at the tip of the long attachment. For sure it was an examination red flag. But then, give it to mothers. It took their intervention immediately as they rallied around. They bought a packet of sharp razor blades and 10 women into action and within minutes cut off the beads that decorated Dolapo’s hair. She then ran into the hall though she was about four minutes late. The firmness of the officials to enforce the dress code rattled candidates in the first-morning batch. Parents and candidates in the second and subsequent batches took cues and adjusted themselves accordingly.
At the Mass Communication Department, University of Lagos, where we sat to analyse the process, Professor Tejumaiye, Head of the Department of Mass Communication praised the efforts of Prof. Oloyede, JAMB Registrar and his team for nipping the recklessness in the bud. Tejumaiye said, “I like what I am hearing, the incoming students would know that reckless dressing could be detrimental to their decision.”
This year’s UTME is not business as usual. Oloyode and his team paid attention to details apart from examination malpractices and fraud. Indecent dressing has been a societal issue that has resisted previous efforts to tame it.
The coming together of parents provided a good opportunity to discuss the children’s attitudes, responses and behaviour, which they acknowledged Prof Oloyede is striving to correct through the campaign against indecent dressing. Most of them recounted times the GenZ children caused them pain. Amid consolations and blame, there was laughter, comfort, kind words and thanksgiving to God for the gift of the children.
Mrs Johnson, a parent, informed that her daughter would always say, “I want to draw a tattoo all over my body as a 17-year-old only daughter.” Mrs Johnson, who is healing from neck surgery, opened up on the wrong attitude of GenZ children.
Parents need to recognise that while loving, nurturing and pampering their children, they should not forget themselves. Once in a while remember yourselves, especially fathers. Take a break and take care of yourself as much as you can, though not being selfish about it. In as much as no one prays for any form of disappointment in life be it from the children, illness, or broken heart of various forms, there is a need for one to be happy in life. It is so discouraging and heartbreaking that most parents sweat so hard and labour all day, only to pass away in a miserable state. Challenges abound especially in present-day Nigeria; parents go through excruciating pains while raising children to enviable heights.
Dr and Dr Mrs Roberts have been drained with their second son who refused to graduate at 26 years. Michael has been a source of pain to his family. He has attempted four different universities, including the private ones, but could not graduate from any. His sight at home while his mates are in school almost killed his parents, especially his mother.
Looking at some attitudes of the children, parents should know they are entitled to life and should live it to the fullest. Parents have to raise worthy ambassadors, but when they refuse to yield to advice; you should not die because of it.
A proud child gladdens the heart of his or her parents. When a child wins academic laurels, parents celebrate, when they become sports ambassadors, any form of achievement, music maestro, or celebrated men and women of God, parent’s hearts leap for joy and thanksgiving. When children marry responsibly, it is the pride of both parents, but when they show irresponsible behaviours, they become sources of unhappiness. The truth is that worthy responsible children make a difference in their parents’ lives and gladdens the heart.
Regrettably, one of the hardest jobs for parents is to raise children in an internet age. Mrs. Ibezim danced gloriously when her second daughter Delight got married. She said “At least, my mind would be at rest. My daughter was so engrossed with the phone that, will never do any chores at home. Every food she cooks must burn.
Abiodun is a teenage son of Mr. & Mrs. Anjorin who would never get near his book or be a good boy. All his time is spent on the screens, and his parents would be screaming all day. Mrs Pepple had always suspected her younger brother-in-law Peter for being a pornographic master until it was discovered that their son was the pornographic kingpin.
At such a moment dear parents; do not kill yourselves in bitterness and anger, neither be dismayed nor use the wrong language no matter how embittered the heartbreak looks like. Highly respected Dr. Cosmas Maduka, CEO of Coscharis, who saw it all before he got to heights said to me during an interview that “a mother should clear her child’s way with prayers and good wishes while the baby is still in the incubator.” (New mothers please take note of this). He insists that unborn babies hear whatever their mothers say and that is why pregnant women crave different edibles. While one is doing the very best with the growing ones, do not relent in talking, teaching with every available tool, listening to inspiring messages, reducing screen focus and finally, letting the knees, moving lips and tears from the eyes, look up to God, the author and finisher of our faith to do the final battle and it shall be well with all parents.
Interestingly, no parent deceives his or her child. Instead, they want them to be the best, that is the reason why they instil discipline, hard work, patience, love, kindness, respect etc. in their children. Some of the children out of naivety allow external influences, teenage-youthful exuberance and peer-group pressure to overtake their parent’s admonition not knowing the level of embarrassment they put their parents through. At such times, will you kill yourself because you are a parent? No, you will not, but instead commit the situation into the hands of God and forge ahead with life. However, it is not an easy situation because it rattles parents, especially mothers. Some parents put all their eggs in one basket hoping that when their child raises his or her head, life will be a bed of roses; when such a child becomes a lying tongue, cyber-crime specialist, mini-prostitute, young alcoholic, drug addict, night marauder, chain smoker, gambler, student scammer and robber or internet fraudsters, he or she becomes a bunch of embarrassment and breaks the heart of his parents.
Dear Parents, know that every living being created by God is entitled to life. In most cases when situations take the life of parents, that stubborn situation may change or not. It is not he that runneth fast, but God that showeth mercy. Do not let any challenge, be it that of children, health, relatives or whatsoever take away your own good life for you are entitled to one. Whatever that makes you happy as a parent, enjoy it. Do not compare, everyone is facing his or her challenge. Mothers do not cry all your life, find happiness, do your best and leave the rest for God.