Two sad stories trended on social media last week. One was the video of 10 under-aged girls, who were trafficked from Orlu, Imo State to Ghana for prostitution, under the guise of working as sales girls. In the video, the ages of the girls were revealed to be between 15 and 18 years. Possibly too, they got stuck in Ghana because of immigration documentation problems, especially if the plan was to travel outside the shores of Africa. Most heart breaking was that three siblings were also part of the same alleged prostitution hub. Terrible! What a life? Three daughters of the same parents? One would ask, were the parents in coma while the girls planned and then executed their plot? How could the parents claim ignorance of this sordid affair? What is parenting all about, if not to raise children, gifts of God properly for the Almighty and the Society?
Closely following the story of the girls was that of two friends, Celine Ndudim and her married Ghanaian friend, Afiba Tandoh, who came on a visit to Nigeria from their base in Ghana. Both left Port Harcourt in Rivers State for a hook up in Aba, Abia State. That visit saw the quick end of the two ladies.
It is very important to stress from the onset that it is not enough for parents to give birth to children and then sit back, fold their hands, thinking that raising children in an internet age is a tea party. For starters, parenting is not meant only for one parent to do, either the father or the mother, except in the case of the death of one parent. In the African context, most people erroneously perceive raising a child to be at least 80 per cent the responsibility of the woman in a home. Little wonder an adage says, train a girl-child, you have trained the world. So many parents have failed themselves in this regard, where the children should have been under their care with the support of the extended family, the families, community and the larger society, all helping in raising the children. That three under-aged daughters of a couple left the confines of their parents’ home to find comfort in another clime. Honestly, a small portion of hell is waiting for that young man who brainwashed other people’s children including his own sister into teenage prostitution. To him, wasting human life is the easiest way to get rich quickly. Only if he knows the amount of curses he has heaped upon himself and the repercussion that is waiting for him. Curses and blood wealth!
Against the background of this deception, I ask parents: how close are you to your children? I am particularly bothered about the state of the mother-daughter relationship. When they were growing up as five, six and 10-year-olds what was the tone of their mothers’ conversations with them? What were the “dos and don’ts” that they laid out for them. Is it to be taken that their mothers did not observe a practice of regular intimate discussion with them, to set them on the right path? The home is the first classroom where morals are taught by parents, to lay a good foundation for children before sending them off to school for teachers to add the academic part while sustaining the moral teaching started by the mothers, actually both parents at home. If there had been open, transparent communication, family-bonding and praying together, the girls would not have kept the Ghana trip a secret from their mother or parents. They would have told her that somebody offered to take them to Ghana. I believe strongly that no right-thinking mother would allow her under-aged daughter to go to Ghana just to be a salesgirl. Except if their mothers or both parents were all part of the plan from the beginning. It is important not to point fingers at the parents because a child who is destined to be a pain in the neck would definitely be. No poor conduct of a child is better than any, but prostitution the worst form of misconduct. both men and women, old and young. After all the bible expressly says that the body is the temple of the Holy Ghost.
It is quiet saddening that Celine and Afibah fell for the temptation of the devil to go for hookup and the escapade claimed their lives. Today, their families are in mourning that could have been avoided if the lure of filthy lucre had seized control of their minds.
In the light of this painful and psychologically torturing incidents, parents must necessarily begin to give their fresh moral education and teaching about money. The girls, especially, should be taught that has no gender for who makes it. Girls can make money legitimately, the same way that boys work hard to make it.
In one of my interviews with the Chief Operating Officer of Air Peace Airline, Engr (Mrs) Toyin Olajide, she told me: “In our Engineering class at the University of Lagos, there were seven girls and 22 boys. The seven girls led the class until we graduated. I graduated with honours and made a First Class in Engineering.”
Parents, please teach the girls to step into the field to make money and not the bed. Money from the field comes with dignity, class and respect; money from the bed comes with sexually transmitted diseases (STD), abuse and disregard.
Let the daughters know that they need to trade their brain not her private organs to make money. If only parents could let the children know that in every profession, women have become leaders, breaking through glass ceiling and leading the men. This June, Mrs. Adaora Umeorji took office as the first female Group Managing Director of Zenith Bank Plc, a major Tier-1 bank. The video of Adaora while alighting from her latest Mercedes G-Wagon, with all official accolades, stepping into her executive office while the men watched, should be on every mother’s phone to be played for the girls always. Who no like better thing? But then, she did not achieve the exalted position on the bed. Download and read her curriculum vitae and prove her wrong.
Again, parents, let the girls be trained not to have a notion of marrying a rich man, but to work to become rich girls themselves. Beautiful Maryam Elisha is the creative director of ‘Rikaoto by Me’ who also told me in an interview: “My luxury fashion brand buys me state-of-the-art, vehicles, houses and provides all that I need.” A business that buys cars and houses will surely buy expensive Brazilian hair, latest iphones, jewelleries, lunch and dinner in choice restaurants, including all the things that usually lead young girls astray.
Years ago, Mrs. Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf was sworn in as the first female president of Liberia. It was the biggest news in Africa then. She was a girl that grew into a woman. Let parents train their daughters not to marry a governor but to work hard and become presidents themselves like Mrs. Sirleaf. They should also know that the instrument of making money is not under the skirt, but in the heart, mind, brain and works through focus, dedication, discipline, diligence, determination, vision and above all, trust and faith in God.
When girls are trained to focus on their studies, they will surely be the focus of the men when the right time comes instead of man-hunting.
In the same vein, if a child, specifically girls, are trained to know that nature and the future are two paymasters that follow one like a shadow, most people will withdraw from the wrong path, fast. There is no retired prostitute or drug addict who wants his or her child to follow the same path. If only the children would be taught to know that what goes around comes around. Know that wickedness and irresponsibility will be fully repaid one day. A girl must be made to know that she is a princess and not a prostitute. This should be her watch word. It is the reason she should dress to prove she is a queen instead of pop-up-breast, midriff-exposure and longest front and back slit ever.
Only if someone will keep reminding the girls that their sub-consciousness that the internet will never forget or forgive. Train the girl-child to know that the foolish post she makes on her social media platforms can depose her from her exalted post tomorrow. A story was told of a young graduate who went for an interview and excelled. After her impressive outing, the managing director went through her Tiktok page only to see her nude pictures. There and then, she lost the job and she was told the reason her services were no longer needed. Sexual posts of the Chrisland College girl who sexually rocked her fellow student like a pro have not been forgotten or completely erased. Let your daughters know that beauty without a brain makes one look like a decorated pig. Apart from education, common sense, strength and a well-grounded will always make a difference in the life of a girl.
On a final note, parents, let all hands be on deck. This call includes guardians, neighbours, school and religious authorities and the government. Let all join hands, to teach the girls that prostitution is one of the oldest professions known to man. It is not about to be eradicated; it will always be there, but many women have lived above it without becoming victims. Our girls could also live above it. The National Orientation Agency should sit up and fill the airwaves with jingles that teach self worth, belief in oneself, contentment and responsibility.
To you the girls, my matronly advice is this:, know ithat no man can love you like God, so do not trade your relationship with God, He never fails. God is the best friend you can have and build an all-round beneficial friendship with Him .