“When I am dating a woman, I might find it downright unattractive if she never makes the first move and initiate intimacy when she’s horny.”
Kate Halim
While ladies may be doing everything in their power to attract the opposite sex, it may surprise them to learn that some of their actions and behaviors can actually have the opposite effect.
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Some ladies may not even realize that they are acting in ways that drive men away when all they are really trying to do is draw them towards themselves. Ladies need to know how to attract men of their dreams.
Some guys gladly gave Effects the right tips and some of the things ladies do that turn them off.
Nwachukwu: A damsel in distress puts me off
I don’t like dramatic women who are in need of rescuing all the time. I am not interested in drama, and if you take the “woe is me” approach in the hopes of attracting me, you may be sad to see that seeking my attention by playing the victim will only make you appear desperate, immature, and overdramatic.
Any lady who wants me for keeps should engage in exercises that can help to boost her self-esteem, as well as learning effective problem-solving strategies that can help her to become more self-sufficient. If you want to attract your very own Prince Charming, acting like a drama queen is the wrong approach.
Chuks: I stay away from party girls
You may think that being the kind of girl who’s down for whatever, goes out non-stop, and is always looking for a good time is the way to attract a man, but being an out-of-control party animal can come back to bite you.
I stay away from party girls because these women have a tendency to act recklessly, make poor decisions possibly under the influence of drugs and alcohol, and put themselves and others in uncomfortable and potentially harmful situations.
I am interested in women who are confident, outgoing, and who like to have fun, but I draw the line when it comes to women who throw caution to the wind and are always looking to party hard no matter the circumstances.
Ayodele: Ladies who are needy are unattractive to me
When I am dating a lady, I want to know that I add value to her life and that I am not superfluous, expendable, or disposable. However, many women mistakenly interpret a man’s desire to feel needed by becoming overly needy, jealous, and desperate to spend every waking moment with him.
If you are a woman who tends to become clingy and emotionally dependent on me because you think it will bring me closer and inspire me to stick around, know that you are actually just pushing me away. Moreover, I want to know that I compliment your life as opposed to being the center of your universe on which your entire happiness level and sense of self-worth depend.
Solomon: Hiding your sexuality pushes me away
It’s terrible that we live in a culture that makes women feel dirty or ashamed of their sexuality. It’s even worse when abuse or violence is condoned because she was dressed, acting, or talking a certain way. As a result, many women shy away from embracing their inner bedroom goddess for fear of being negatively labeled.
When I am dating a woman, I might find it downright unattractive if she never makes the first move and initiate intimacy when she’s horny. I like a woman who is comfortable in her own skin inside and outside bedroom.
Douglas: Playing hard to get is not something I fancy
Many ladies think that playing hard to get and acting in a distant and disengaged way can help them attract guys, but they are making a mistake by not making time for these guys. In fact, playing games can make you seem highly immature and can give off the impression that you’re not yet ready, willing, and/or interested in getting to know him on a deeper and more meaningful level. And while you may assume that acting detached and aloof increases your allure, you’re actually coming across as uninterested, flaky, and just plain annoying. Playing hard to get is an easy way to strike out with a guy.
Damian: Extreme makeovers
If I like a girl for the right reasons, I am not going to tell her to suddenly undergo an extreme makeover to keep me for life. I knew who she was when we met, and I won’t want her to reinvent herself in an attempt to win me over. I value a confident woman. Therefore, I likely will find it unattractive if she is obsessed with her perceived imperfections. Talking about different cosmetic procedures, cycling different styles, and crash dieting in an attempt to lose weight can makes ladies seem insecure, which is a real turn-off for me.
Patrick: Being a gossip turns me off
It might seem like fun to share the latest rumors, scandals, and stories involving the lives of your friends, family, and co-workers with me because I am your guy, but being a gossip turns me off.
While your intentions may be to try to open the lines of communication with me, it’s important to recognize that giving me the lowdown about other people’s sordid deeds actually makes you come across as having low self-esteem.
I believe that ladies with poor self-image rely on gossip as a way to make themselves feel better about their own lives, and they choose to talk about the latest failures and scandalous behaviors of others as a way to give themselves a boost.
If you want to attract me, you should keep in mind that I am drawn to women who value themselves, and don’t put others down as a way to lift themselves up. So the next time you are dying to dish to me about all of your friend’s dirty laundry, you should choose to clean up your act instead.
Gbenga: Having no life
In my relationships, I will want some space to breathe from time to time. Wanting time apart is not, necessarily, a reflection on how I feel about my woman or I am avoiding her. It also doesn’t mean I want to leave her.
I love feeling wanted but it can be exhausting when my partner is excessively needy. I find it unattractive if my woman demands to be by my side 24/7 and can’t find ways to occupy herself even when I am not around.
I have told my girl to plan regular outings with her friends or colleagues, register in a gym to meet new people or watch Telemundo which I don’t like so that I can do my own thing too. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean we should become inseparable.
Chidi: You put me off by bad-mouthing your ex
As a lady, you may think that bad-mouthing your ex around me is a good decision because I am your new guy, but this kind of negative behavior actually makes you look bad instead.
While your intentions may be to show me how much you are over your last beau and that I have nothing to worry about when it comes to living up to the men you have been with previously, constantly criticizing your ex isn’t attractive.
Your need to put down your ex make you come across as spiteful and juvenile, but your unrelenting fixation on your ex makes it seem as though you are still harboring feelings for him.
Bad-mouthing your ex while you are in a relationship with me also shows that I could be next when it comes to being the subject of your hateful words. So rather than talking badly about your ex and venting about all the ways he wronged you, leave the past in the past.