Popular cleric and a former General Overseer of the Foursquare Gospel Church in Nigeria, Rev Gabriel Farombi has been living in the United States since he retired from his position as GO in 1999. He was recently in Nigeria, alongside his wife, Madam Nike, to celebrate his 85th birthday.
In this interview with VERA WISDOM-BASSEY, the Farombis spoke to Saturday Sun about their 31-year journey together and God has been leading them. They also have pieces of advice for intending couples on how to make their marriage and families work, even as they insist that the foundation of any great marriage must be built on God.
Sir, when did you get married?
Rev Gabriel: I first got married in 1966. But my wife died. The marriage came to an end as a result of my wife’s death in 1970 after giving birth. So, after I waited for more than 22 years, I married again in 1992 to my present wife.
It took you so long before getting married again after the death of your first wife. What was the reason for this?
Rev Gabriel: When my first wife died, then our children were very small. The first child then wasn’t up to four years. I decided that I was going to let the children grow up so they could be able to take care of themselves before I re-married again, because I believe that being a man, no matter what happens, I would always be a man; no matter how spiritual I feel. I never wanted them to suffer any thing in the home.
How did you meet your wife?
Rev Gabriel: I knew her many years ago. She came to me to pray for her, and I said if that prayer was answered, then we are one. She never knew me, but I knew her and she came to me to pray for her, which I did and God answered it and that was how it started.
Anything to add ma, or is that the way it happened?
Madam Nike: Our meeting and marriage was by divine arrangement. He is a man of God. I was in Abuja and he was in Lagos. I had never been close to him, nor met him one on one to greet him. But I was in Abuja asking for a life partner. I saw him in a revelation and saw him prophesying to me in the dream. I had never been close to him, and neither had I even pass by him to say good morning. This was because I was in, but i was in Abuja and he was in Lagos. So when I saw him, I said God is talking to me.
How did that happen? How were you so sure it was God talking to you?
Madam Nike: When I was praying l saw him one day. It was a season of prayer, and I was saying to God, ‘what kind of man are you going to give me?’ By then I was almost 40 years. You can imagine you are getting old. and at that age you will be choosing? At that age, you’re saying you don’t like tall men, nor fair men. The man must be tall or short, and so on. But I saw nobody around me. When you go to the congregation, the one I like might not be available. So, I asked God, is there any man for me? Then God said, there is a man for you. And he reassured me that there was a man for me.
You know in the body of Christ, a primary six holder will approach you, a graduate, for marriage. I didn’t like that at all. And there were so many other things like that which I didn’t like. Another thing was the profession. I didn’t like the profession of pastors at all. I would say, what does he do? Like where he was living, I didn’t know. So, another time I saw him in my dream, and he was at my wedding but I did know who he was. But I saw him.
Another time, I saw him as a pastor, but then I begin to pray against any spiritual husband. For three times, he was in Abuja, but I was in Lagos. He was the General Overseer But the next time he came to Abuja, the pastor of the church said, Sis Nike don’t go because each time the G.O comes from Lagos, he would always ask of the secretary, and I would say she has travelled. But now he is here I don’t know what to tell him. If you go, he always asks of the church secretary who was never around.
On that day that he came, I couldn’t come because it rained. But the church sent a driver to go and be picking members, and that was how I was brought to the church. And it was my first time of meeting him, but I did not see anything serious.
So did he propose?
Madam Nike: He did, but I didn’t give him the go-ahead. Yes, he proposed, but I didn’t take it as any serious thing. I did not give him a yes answer then because I did not want to marry a pastor then. I just want to serve God and go away. I don’t like a quiet life; that was why I didn’t want to marry a pastor, because he was so quiet. So, I came to Lagos, that was the church at Yaba and he introduced me to the congregation as the sister from Abuja. But I did not take it lightly. I was ashamed.
How could couples improve on their marriages, seeing that you’ve had a successful marriage now for 31 years?
Rev Gabriel: Thank you very much. When we are talking about marriage, we should be guided by the scriptures in Ephesians 5:32-35. According to the Bible, the husband has a role to play as well as the wife. The Bible commands that we should love our wives as Jesus loves us, not as our neighbour but as he Jesus loves us and died to set us free. So the husband should be ready to sacrifice and this kind of love is God’s kind of love. It should be the kind of Agape love. The wife should be in total submission not cowardice to her husband. This will keep their home together.
Madam, your marriage has been over 30 years now. Would you tell us the pitfalls to avoid in marriage?
Madam Nike: Christ is everything. Once Christ is the centre of your marriage, it will stand. Once both of you understand each other, it will stand. When you’re faithful to each other, it will stand and once you’re both truthful and loyal to each other, it will stand. But there are some things like faults. We have individual faults, but there should be ability to forgive and not to take things seriously. So we have been married for 31 years now. We quarrel and settle – and you cannot avoid that one. But there should be the ability to have good understanding, fear of God, commitment to one another, and sacrifice. It will help you.
How could couples make their marriage work?
Madam Nike: There are so many things that will make the marriage work. There should be the determination to make it work because so many things will come your way. The in-laws are there; even the church. But make sure the Lord is leading you. Make sure Christ is the foundation; once it is built on him, it will stand. I remember that when I was to marry him, there were so many sisters who wanted to marry him, but l was just looking at them. So to get married prepare yourself spiritually, emotionally because so, many things will want to rob you of your joy. Also prepare yourself psychologically.
Who says sorry first when there is an issue?
Rev Gabriel: Jesus has taught us to be humble, say sorry, when you offend, I do say, thank you and sorry to my wife.
How do we train our children? And important is money to having a successful marriage??
Rev Gabriel: The training of children starts from the family. Like we have been having family devotion, we have been praying. They see us doing it, living the Biblical life, and they were following our footsteps. Since the time I got converted, every morning we would pray. So money is not marriage, because marriage has wings. It is not money that brings joy, but God brings joy into the home.
How would you advise couples of today?
Rev Gabriel: For couples, they should put the Bible into practice. The Bible says love your wife, and if the wife listens to the husband, not that they will not quarrel, but it must be solved within themselves – no mother in-law or father -in law come into their home to settle quarrels.
How would you advise us to train our children?
Rev Gabriel: If you get pregnant, lay your hands on the womb and pray for the child. And when you give birth, also pray for the child, and God will take this and bless the child and make sure you correct the child from time to time when they go wrong.
What have you been doing since you left as the General Overseer of Foursquare Church?
Rev Gabriel: I have been living abroad since I left Nigeria as the General Overseer of Foursquare Gospel Church here in Lagos, and the Lord has blessed us with another church in Chicago called Grace Pentecostal Foursquare Church where I pastor now, with my wife. The church has grown very big today. We also have a praying ministry there too that reaches out to the needs of the people.
How do you relax ?
Rev Gabriel: I like reading, especially my Bible, as well as meditating on the word of God. I pray a lot for people. I like praying for those who have helped me so much in the ministry and in my sojourn on earth.
Sir, you just celebrated your 85th birthday. As a minister, how would you say God has led you all these years?
Rev Gabriel: I just want to thank God. I never knew he would honour me this way. I think he is the one that is accompanying us. I want to use this occasion to thank God, the great changer, the great God. The Bible says, He lifted up the poor. I can say I am one of the great poor that the Lord has graciously lifted up, one who made me what I am today.
Jerry Gana, while as the Minister of Information, said, whatever you want to do, do it well, if you want to sleep, sleep well. I want to use this opportunity to thank God. He has done me well. Someone from the village, a cocoa buyer, by his grace I am what I am today. In November 1968, my uncle Benjamin brought me to the Lord. He dragged me so many times to the church. He convinced and converted me.
The scriptures tell me that he that committed sin is of the devil. In my days in the Anglican Church, despite being baptised in water, I was never converted. But I made up my mind to be a real Christian, because when he saved me, he will keep to the uttermost. For 65 years, he has kept me, and he’s been taking care of me. I want to use this opportunity to say thank You, thank you, thank you.
Before I was converted, I could not talk. I felt so shy while in school. But today, all those are stories.
Can you tell us a little bit of your childhood?
Rev Gabriel: I was born in Ifo Ogun State in1938. I started my education in the village before moving down to Lagos to complete my primary education and then later had my secondary school education in Lagos, too.