Whenever a circle of male friends get together to ease off stress and the effects of the day’s hassles and to celebrate successful hustles while having some drinks, the conversation will always eventually settle around discussing women.I t doesn’t matter that they may start off talking about politics, business and sports, at some point the discussion will tilt towards the daughters of Eve.
The women also are not exempted from the accusation because gone are the days when poor relationships are hidden from each other. Women have become bold and more sensitive to their bodies, peace of mind and career. With both men and women complaining about the attitude of either gender, it is quite easy to see why relationships are experiencing severe strain and in many instances result in breakups. With hindsight, most men and women wish they had not married their present spouses.
Interestingly, common knowledge has proved that all the challenges in marital relationships could be resolved if only the victims are interested in changing their mindset. That men need their respect intact is not contestable while women go over the hills for their love and care.
Now, for the willing souls who crave for happy moments in their lives; they can start with special pet name meant for just the two of them. When such names are called, whoever that hears it knows who is being referred to. Many call themselves, darling, sweetheart, mine, treasure, my joy or abbreviate their spouses name romantically. With such a joyful pet-name, it would endear couples closer to each other. Such closeness will embolden them, to look into each other’s eyes and have heart to heart conversation.
A man who is romantic, who wants the climax of the night to get to the ceiling would carefully open the car door for his woman to hop in. It would not be a bad idea to hold her hand and walk into a public place where both could be seen. What if the man chooses to pull up the seat for his woman not minding her squeezed face, such will go a long way to strengthen the cracking relationship. With little knowledge, the ladies who married older men see only but love and care.
Couples can bounce back in the wee hours of the night when they are alone in their private corner, both lie skin-to-skin. Such moments send out sensational good signals as most couple resolve their differences within that space. It usually is a great moment for both especially when the body becomes so warmth and heated up. A heated man whose third leg is in dire need of a hole to explore can promise his woman heaven and earth. He can change all his stubborn decisions, pay every payable seen and unseen bills and promise to do more. Women also scream out when they are dealt with in the other room. A woman who is properly vacuum-cleaned would be the first to call his master his various pet names. She would prepare his favourite meals and looks at his face to know the next move. When a man defends his sexual title on his woman, the woman has no choice than to bow down and obey, knowing fully well that there are hawks outside her home who are ready to swing unto her man and enjoy the same hot oil-rig-exploration. Sexual relationship cannot be underrated in a relationship, it is a great deal for both the man and the woman especially in settling issues. Rita, a classmate told of how she won her husband through sex. She said “I am not the pretentious type, when I need my man Lawrence, I need him and will go all out for him. In 12-years of our relationship, we grew on each other from school and got married barely after our national service. He met me a virgin, but I discovered he would complain that I do not know what to do with him in bed. I began to read sexual books, goggle all sorts and in no time, I became an expert; a few times we had intimate affair, I applied all I read, saw and watched, it was like fire for both of us. He confessed and said, you have become a real enjoyable woman.” Once has my hubby shown up from the office just to have me and go back to work. Off course we enjoyed the moment and he went back to work with the memory.
Presently, whatever that has happened to love letters, love notes, emotional cards and love songs? These are greater ways to improve and reassure love at its peak. All these has been enveloped through the advent of the social media. Love letters remains a powerful tool in the minds of many. The message of the love letter settles in someone’s heart like a pillar. Marriages of over 40 years could go down memory lane and recount the lines of their love-letters when they started. Love notes, love songs reconcile frail relationships. Camila was shocked when she saw her personal wedding picture enlarged by her husband after their physical fight. “We argued and fought physically; next, I ran to my mother’s house. After family interventions, I came back only to discover my wedding picture fully enlarged. “I hugged Michael and called him the best. He said “This is your home, stop running away when there are challenges.” In the same vein, every partner deserves appreciation. Appreciate your partner. Tell him or her kind words that would melt his or her heart. Tell the world what he or she means to you. Surprise him or her with postings of how you feel about him or her, what she means to you and how lucky you are to have him or her. Don’t express your love for your partner privately, do it is public, it will go a long way to settle dusts in your marriage and relationships.
Then again, another great way of reigniting your flame of love is loving each other’s family. Good or bad, we are Africans and cannot remove the values and norms that bind us together. There is nothing that gladdens the heart of a man like knowing his wife loves and respects his family. Julie, a pharmacist would out of the blues shop during every festive period and quietly go visit her parents-in-law. Her husband Emmanuel would not know anything of such. She would cook healthy food and send to her ageing parent’s in-law. Her cooking and buying of gifts endeared her so much to her in-law including her husband’s sisters. When a younger co-wife was newly married, Julie was the yardstick used to measure her character. Julie’s attitude forced Emmanuel to begin to pay serious attention to her owns family especially that her father was no longer living. Such strengthens relationship between a man and a woman. Surprise your partner with super bedside-breakfast. Let him or her feel the love with your actions.
Again, communication remains another great tool is setting the fire right. How can a relationship survive without the power of communication which should not be one sided. Pouring out one’s heart, good or bad releases some tension and deep feelings. A partner might be angry over an issue without knowing the exact reason, but once communication takes place and the truth comes out, apologies could come from anyone, resentment, bitterness and hatred will simply disappear and both live their normal lives. People who want the flame of their love to keep shinning might not need a third party, instead tell themselves the truth, live up to expectations and be of good conduct.
Dear Nigerian men and women; one can simply choose to delete and purge out all bad vibes, feelings, regret and change his or her mindset to a positive way. There are a lot of very simple and loving attention, which when paid to each other, will go a long way to strengthen the relationship. Surprise gifts as little as fruits with the right words, ‘I bought this for you can tune down the anger of the day. Surprise SMS message to him or her is sure way of knowing your partner want the marriage the work. In all behaviours one portrays, covering your partner in prayers, praying together destroy the machinations of the enemy in one’s union.
Do not forget, you both walked down the aisle and made a vow to be there for each other. Prove it, not by saying sake, but by communicating love in all your actions.