By Kate Halim
In the Nigerian society, left-handers, that is people who use their left hands to write and perform some tasks, are frowned upon. They are also referred to as southpaws.
As children, many of these left-handers were beaten and verbally abused by their parents, guardians, family members, neighbours, teachers and religious leaders. Some of them were even forced by their parents and teachers to start writing and performing tasks with their right hands which they said later affected the way they do things as adults.
Paul Akingbade, a medical doctor said that he constantly recalls his childhood days with sadness because of the way he was treated for being left-handed. Born in the eighties, Akingbade told Saturday Sun that it was hell growing up with his parents because they didn’t like him doing things with his left hand.
“I was that child who was beaten almost every day because I do almost everything, including eating, with my left hand. At a point, I started hiding from my parents and family members whenever I wanted to do something. At home, I had no peace. At school, it was even worse. My teachers beat me for writing with my left hand. One even told me that I was an abnormal child for being left-handed”, he said.
Now a father of two, Akingbade disclosed that his daughter is left-handed and he has warned his parents and family members not to pick on her as they did with him. He added that he’s struggling to overcome the childhood trauma he went through because of his parents’ ignorance regarding people who are left-handed and he doesn’t want his daughter to suffer the same fate.
He said: “When I noticed my five-year-old daughter was left-handed, I called my wife and told her not to bother her or try beating her into using her right hand. I also warned intrusive family members who kept saying she was disrespectful when she offers them something with her left hand to leave her alone because that was how God created her. I always praise and affirm my daughter so she doesn’t grow up emotionally and psychologically damaged like me.”
A businesswoman, Habibat Abdulkareem said she doesn’t understand why some parents feel their left-handed children are abnormal. Arranging her wares properly with her left hand in her shop, Abdulkareem said that she believes left-handed people are special, talented and intelligent. “My two sons are left-handed and I am happy for them. There is nothing wrong with people who use their left hands. It is as normal as people who use their right hands. I don’t understand why we demonise things we don’t understand. I don’t allow anyone to talk to my boys anyhow or force them to start using their right hands.”
While talking about her childhood as a left-hander, the mother of three became emotional. She said in a shaky voice that she doesn’t wish any child what she went through while growing up. “The way my mother beat me for using my left hand, you would think I was a thief. She would yell at me, give me occasional knocks on my head, pull my ears and even slap me for using my left hand. One day, she told me to get her a cup of water and I gave it to her with my left hand. She beat me so much that I almost passed out. It took the intervention of our neighbours to stop her from almost killing me that day.”
Abdulkareem added that while her mother was always beating her for using her left hand, her father did nothing to protect her. She recalled that he would just tell her to do the right thing by using her right hand so that the beatings would stop. She stated that growing up with parents who didn’t understand that she was normal as a left-handed person made her sad and uncomfortable.
“Because of the treatment I got from my parents, I became a fearful child. Whenever I was home alone with my siblings, I would be okay but whenever my parents came home, I would become jittery. I would start doing things with my right hand to avoid being shouted at or beaten. Today, I use both hands perfectly but I still use my left hand more to lift things, write and eat.”
Belinda Amadi, an undergraduate, told Saturday Sun that she believes she’s smarter than her peers because she is left-handed. According to Amadi, she doesn’t allow anyone to look down on her or make her feel bad for being left-handed. “I remember when one of my teachers in secondary school tried to make me feel bad for using my left hand to write in class, I told her that God created me specially and my parents don’t mind me doing things with my left hand. She quickly left me alone.”
Amadi, who is studying History and International Relations at Babcock University, noted that her parents didn’t treat her differently because she is left-handed. She stated that they are her biggest cheerleaders and are always ready to stop anyone from telling her what to do with her hands and how she should do it.
“When I hear people lamenting about how their parents are treating them for using their left hands, I can’t relate to their stories. Maybe this is because my parents studied abroad before they came back to Nigeria and got married or because they believe it doesn’t matter which hand a child uses more. I feel blessed to have such loving and supportive parents,” she stated.
Amadi said that she writes, operates her phone and lifts things with her hand. She said at one time, her grandmother told her that she wouldn’t last long in her matrimonial home when her in-laws found out that she eats and cooks with her left hand. “When I heard that from my grandmother, it sounded so funny that I started laughing. She later reported to my parents that I was making fun of her. When I told my parents what she said, they laughed and told her that the world had changed.”
Tolu Soneye is a fashion designer based in Lagos. She said that she doesn’t feel different using her left hand to perform most of her daily tasks. Soneye noted that people who beat left-handed children are ignorant. “Growing up, I was beaten a lot for eating, writing and giving people things with my left hand. Looking back now, I would say it is ignorance that made parents, teachers and family members beat left-handed children. There is nothing wrong with a child who is left-handed. I don’t understand why people allow their cultural beliefs to overtake their sense of reasoning.”
Soneye, who is engaged to be married, narrated how a man started insulting her and her parents for daring to give him money with her left hand. She said that she boarded a taxi last year and when she got to her destination, she brought out money from her purse and handed it to the driver but he looked at her with disgust in return. She said that when she asked him what was wrong, he responded that she was so disrespectful for offering her money with her left hand.
She added: “Before I could respond, he started insulting my parents for not raising me well. I became angry and told him that he was silly to bring my parents into a matter which doesn’t concern them. I dropped the money on the car seat, opened the door of the car and walked away. I was so angry with his outburst that I felt there was no need to explain to him that I was left-handed.”
Bridget Udoh told Saturday Sun that she grew up thinking something was wrong with her for being left-handed. She added that the way her parents and family members treated her was unpleasant, noting that she was always screamed at whenever she wrote or painted with her left hand. “As a child, I loved drawing and painting but I do it better with my left hand. I remember my mother beating me for using my left hand to paint. She would tell me that it is not right to use my left hand for serious things. She said it was a bad omen and I must start doing things with my right hand.”
Udoh, now a freelance writer, stated that her parents forced her to start writing and drawing with her right hand and it messed her up emotionally. She noted that as an adult, she couldn’t draw or paint well anymore because she struggles to use both hands. “I always feel like my parents robbed me of the opportunity to fully manifest my talent as an artist. It is because of them that I can’t even use both hands to do things well these days. Whenever I remember how they treated me because of something that wasn’t my fault, I get angry. I do things with both hands but if I want to do something flawlessly, I use my left hand.”
Udoh said that parents who still beat their children for using their left hands to write and perform daily tasks should be arrested because they are destroying their children’s lives and messing them up emotionally. She added that people who mock left-handed people or make them feel inferior are ignorant.
She said: “There’s nothing wrong with people who use their left hands, it is our society that makes it look like a crime. Why should a child be beaten for something they don’t have control over? Why should a child be verbally abused for giving people things with their left hand? Why do we attach so much importance to mundane things and not think about the effects these actions would have on children?”