Josfyn Uba and Sunday Ani

Onicha Uku, Onicha Ugbo and Issele Uku are among the nine towns that make up the Ezechima clan in Aniocha North Local Government Area of Delta State. Even though they are from the same clan, they have three distinct cultures with regard to the burial rites of married women. They are the Anioma people, who are commonly referred to as the Delta Igbo and, sometimes, as Ndi Enuani.

According to a former lecturer at the Ogwashi Uku Polytechnic, Dr. Chudi Okwechime, who traced the origins of the people of Onicha Ugbo to a convergence of people that migrated from different areas, the Ikoko quarters came from Akokoland, which, incidentally, has been twisted or corrupted to what is today known as Ikoko. He said when they arrived, they occupied a very large farm area. With inter-marriage as well as trade, a majority of the people of another quarter, the Ogbeke Enu, migrated from another side and merged with the people of Ikoko. He also claimed that others from Ubulu and Ogwashi Uku came to live with the people of Umu-Ezechima.

Okwechime told Daily Sun that the people from Ogbe Obi, Umuolo quarters and parts of Ishiekpe are visitors, as some of them migrated from Igbuzo. He stressed that, given the genealogy of Onicha Ugbo, it is an Ezechima town because the rulership is directly from Ezechima.
“All of them have integrated with the town, resulting in a very large town as we have it today,” he said.

Women’s burial rites – An enigma
On the burial rites and ceremonies of the daughters of the town, the erudite academic told Daily Sun that if a woman who had a male child died, she would be buried where her male child built a house. This, according to him, is because a man and his wife cannot be buried in the same premises, going by the Onicha Ugbo tradition.

Traditionally, a man’s house is built in front of the compound while that of the wife is at the back. This, he said, is called the ‘Ezinekwu.’

He further said: “There are three scenarios to this issue of burial rites for women. The first son is the one who inherits his father’s homestead. So, his mother cannot be buried in his house but in the house built by the second son. However, if the second son has not built a house when their mother died, a land is apportioned to him and his mother is buried there, so that he would later have to build on that land.”
In another development, he stated that if the woman’s first son happened not to be the first son of his father, probably because his father had other wives, then the woman could be buried in her first son’s house.

Summarising the three scenarios, Okwechime said: “One, if a woman has more than one male child and her first son is also the first son of his father, then she will not be buried in her first son’s house when she dies because the first son will inherit his father’s house, where his father will be buried or has been buried. So, the woman will be buried in her second son’s house and, if that second son does not have a house, a parcel of land is apportioned to him. And if the woman already has a house in Ezinekwu, she will be buried in that house and the second son inherits the house. But, if there is no specific Ezinekwu, that second son will be given land where he will bury his mother and later build on.

“Second, where the woman’s first son is not the first son of the father, then the woman will be buried in her first son’s home, not the second son’s home. That is because the woman’s first son is not the first son of the man, so he is not going to inherit the homestead. That is why the woman can be buried in her first son’s own home or on a plot of land where he will build; not in her second son’s home.”
But, it is also possible that the woman’s first son could also be the first son of the father. Okwuchime said: “In such circumstance, the burial ceremony of the woman takes place in her second son’s house. However, the first son still participates as the first son. He will come first.”

However, when it comes to interment, it is a different ball game. That is when the imperativeness of the tradition comes to play. On the imperativeness of the tradition, Okwechime said: “Our people say that the world belongs to Umueze, and that the descendants of Ezechima and Umueze, traditionally, cannot remain in foreign land. So, they have to be brought back to their father’s place for burial when they die.”
He said there were two major types of rites of passage for the woman, although it is not applicable in the whole town. While some parts of the town have the custom of burying their daughters where they got married, that is the husband’s place, there are other quarters that must bring the woman’s body home to be buried in her father’s house.

He cited an example with Idumus quarters, where daughters must be returned to their father’s house for burial when they die, irrespective of whether they had male or female children in the place where they were married.

Ironically, however, the reverse is the case with the rest of the town, as women are buried in the town where they were married.

He also maintained that, in his village, the body of the woman must be returned to her father’s compound for burial and there is no compromise on that. He attributed the practice to age-long tradition.

Consequence to disobedience of the tradition
Is there any consequence for disobeying this particular tradition? “I have heard stories about some unpleasant consequences for disobedience. My understanding about it is that women grow up to be told that this is the tradition. So, as they get children, they let them know that they must be taken back to their father’s house for burial at their demise. So, it becomes part of a woman’s desire or will – written or unwritten.

“We have had cases of children who grew up and said they had become big and they would take their mothers back to their father’s house. Or that they had become Christians and would want to bury their mother in the cemetery, but years later they began to experience different mishaps and when they made consultations, they found out that their mother wanted to be taken back home. And until they take her back home, they will not know peace. There will be no progress and they would come to beg. That, to me, happens because it is the woman’s desire. I guess if the woman did not desire it, that is, if she did not tell the children, she might not worry them, but because her spirit cannot find rest until her body goes home, some things happen and they have had to exhume the skeleton and rebury appropriately.”

Could it just be about the woman’s desire? He said: “Normally, our daughters always grow up, knowing that it is traditionally required that, at the end of their lives, their kindred demands that their remains should be brought back home. When we marry her out, we tell her as well as her husband and his people. It is internalised. So, in the arrangements of her burial, we demand that the body be brought back. Don’t forget that we live in a communalistic environment here. No man is an island; we are not individualistic. The woman comes from a family and even if she was an only child, she had cousins, uncles, nephews, etc. So, those ones would insist on the tradition. It is only when the children become intransigent and insist on burying their mother their own way that we would say, ‘oh, we are not quarreling about that, but we will not participate. You can take your mother and bury her anywhere you like and however you like. There is no fine but wait for the consequences.’ It may not happen in one, two or even five years but it definitely will come and when it comes, they will come back to beg, if they can bring her back for burial and that is when the fine comes in, and the consequences of exhuming and reburial. If the family did not participate, there are ceremonies that should be done and that means those ceremonies will not be carried out.”

Okwechime stated that on a few occasions that have been narrated to them, as soon as the woman was properly laid to rest in the traditionally accepted place, everything became fine.
He recalled that in the days when they had people who were spiritually gifted to see into the future, such persons were duly consulted to proffer solutions, and as soon as the skeleton was exhumed and prayers offered for forgiveness, the spirit of the deceased was appeased, and everything became fine.

Effects of Christianity on tradition

He was quick to point out that things have taken a different turn today because of Christianity, regarding some of the traditions and culture. He said: “We are no longer allowed to identify with our past and true knowledge of our spiritual nature. What is abundant around us is crass religion with no spirituality. So, we drift and then leave everything to prayer. Other people are developing technology and we sit down idly and pray and look out for miracles.”

He narrated a real-life situation, where his sister was married in Calabar, Cross River State, but, when she died, her husband’s people insisted they must bury her beside her husband’s grave: “She didn’t even have a child for the man. The only daughter she had before she married the man had died before her. The daughter of that daughter, that is, her granddaughter, whom she later took as her own daughter and tried to even make have precedence over her three brothers, was not even adopted by her husband.

Eventually, when she died, we sent people from here and the man’s children knew us. The daughter and her husband had no choice but to bring her home. When they brought her to our mother’s house, I am the second son of my mother, so I buried her in my home because my elder brother is the first son of our father, so he inherited the homestead. He can’t inherit the homestead and our mother’s house at the same time.”

Issele Uku in focus

Ignatius Ogugua Meme offered insight into what the tradition of Issele Uku says regarding the burial rites of a woman.

In Issele Uku, a woman’s corpse is not taken back to her parents’ place. There is, however, a different case where a woman dies in her husband’s place without a child: “In Issele Uku, there is what we call Igbagwu. Igbagwu means African god parenthood. Here, through the means of divination, Igba afa (ifa), a child is begotten to a woman/man, which is a general practice.

“This Nwa agwu (god child) is usually from within the kindred and family circle. So, before her death, there would have been an Igbagwu and the first son she got as an Agwu (god child) takes charge of her burial. Nwagwu comes in where the woman doesn’t have a child at all.”

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The deceased’s first Agwu, who is a male child, not only takes charge of the burial but he also inherits anything the woman owns. In all ramifications, this first male Agwu enjoys the same rights and privileges as a biological child,” he said.

The Igbagwu practice is also applicable to even women who have biological children. “We don’t return women to their family after death in all circumstances.’’

Meme stated that this might have informed their forefathers’ decision such that instead of taking the corpse back, the Nwagwu takes complete responsibility of the burial and inherits all her properties.
Another twist is also in the tradition of the Issele Uku people when the woman has children. According to him, “normally, the first son buries the father while the second son buries the mother. That is the tradition here but, in a case of an only son, he buries both parents.”

Meme said that if he is rich enough to build his own house, he takes the mother’s body to his own house and buries her there while he buries his late father at the Okpuno, the family compound. In the event of the family not being able to recover the woman’s corpse for whatever reason, maybe she went missing or was involved in a plane crash or something more difficult and they can’t trace her body, tradition provides room for an alternative. They would have to provide an alternative burial process called Intinuagha, meaning that they cut a plantain stem, after some rituals, and bury it in the grave. This scenario is not peculiar to the females. The same thing applies to the males.

Meme gave an instance of a man who went missing in a village for about two years. The burial rites were only performed recently. They had to wait for a long time after which they decided to ‘bury’ him so that his wife could move on with her life. What happens in an instance where somebody stubbornly decides not to return his mother’s corpse to her people? His example is not drawn from Issele Uku. He recalled that the woman was from Ezi, married at Issele Uku, and the children did everything possible to ensure that their mother’s corpse did not go back to Ezi. They even opted for a buy back. “Ezi people refused that the woman should be buried at Issele Uku and, at the end, the children were compelled to take the corpse back. She was our wife but tradition demands that she should be brought home.”

In his own case, he told Daily Sun: “My wife is from Obomkpa town in this same local government area. Their tradition also demands that their daughters do not stay back in a foreign land. So, if anything happens to my wife tomorrow, there is nothing the children can do. They must return her to her people. After all, you are informed well ahead upon marriage. There is nothing anybody can do to change it.”
Meme noted that whether or not the woman might have desired it is out of the question. It is the tradition, “Some would have wished to be buried in the compound where they were married to but there’s nothing anyone can do.”

Meme buttressed his point with his late mother whom he said hailed from Umunede, “When she died, I informed them and requested that the Umuada came. They did what they were supposed to do and I gave them what I should give them and they left. The next day, I went back to Umunede generally to see the women and the elderly and they were happy that I fulfilled all the tradition. She was buried in my compound here because they don’t take back their daughters in Umunede. The tradition of the woman takes preeminence over that of her husband if anything happens to her.”

Like Idumus like Onicha Uku

Diokpala Ebo of Ogbe-Akwu quarters, Pa Matthew Nnaemeke Uba, JP, spoke on what happens in his town of Onicha Uku. He said that traditionally, their daughters are accorded great respect, both in life and in death. When a woman dies, it is important that her remains are brought back to her homestead for burial. There is no compromise, he noted.

“This is so because for the descendants of Ezechima, we have a saying that that, ‘umu anyi ayaa atoo obuu,’ which simply means that our daughters should not be left behind in a strange place or in their places of marriage. Our tradition demands that they should be brought back to their fathers’ place for interment. It is an age long tradition that have transcended beyond generations and we do not joke with it. As a matter of fact, the narratives start from the day of her marriage. This tradition is clearly stated out in the course of the prayers to the couple for the success of the marriage by the woman’s kindred. They are told that at the ripe age and whenever his wife dies, her corpse must be brought back home.”

On whether there is any available option to this age long tradition, the octogenarian said that there is no alternative to it. However, in a case where a woman dies abroad and her remains cannot be brought back for certain reasons, the traditional rite to do is to get her finger, at least one, her foot, some bits of her pubic hair, hair from arm pit and hair from the head, all these are packaged and brought back home as symbols of her remains. These personal items are taken as symbol for the burial processes. Aside from this, a plantain trunk is wrapped in white clothing and prepared for burial, including other rites of passage. It ends there.”

What could be the consequences when a deceased woman is buried in her husband’s place either out of insubordination or negligence? He said: “In my quarters, Ogbe Akwu, I cannot recall any incident of anyone refusing to bring back his/her mother and so there has also not any recorded consequence because it has never happened. There’s no room for plea bargain or buy back. Wherever our daughter is, we insist that they come back to their homestead. As a matter of fact, on the day she is given out in marriage, her husband and his kindred are told in clear terms how imperative it is for her to be brought back at the end, whether or not her husband is alive or not. Even the children know, because the woman would be drumming it into their ears, how important it is for them to take her home.”
The old man also said that “to the man, we say, here is our daughter, your wife. We give you in marriage to take care of in life, but we want her bones in death.”

Mr Charles Ubani, another native of Onicha Uku, corroborated with Pa Nnaememe Uba’s views. He, however, gave an insight into another side of the burial process. “When a woman is brought back home to her family for burial, our tradition requires that the children spend the night in the house where their mother is interred.’’

According to him, if they fail to do that and, maybe, disappear for any reason, they will be fined for allegedly dumping their mother without trace. They will forever face the humiliation and embarrassment in the town. They will face insult from time to time from people. That is why you must stay back in the place to make sure that all rites are completed. It is an honour for a woman’s children to sleep over after her interment.”

Disobedience, unpleasant experience

Another Onicha Uku native, Mr Paul Elumele, revealed one of the few unpleasant cases in disobedience and noncompliance to the tradition of how a woman from his Ishekpe quarters but was married at Orhuodua in Edo State was hurriedly buried by her children without notifying her family back home. “My people share boundary with them through a river in Ugbodu, a boundary village between Onicha Uku and Orhuodua. Our sister was married in Orhuodua, and when she died, her children had buried her even before our people knew for reasons best known to them.

“Then information got to us four days after her interment. Our kindred mobilized the youths who stormed Orhuodua, chanting war songs and visibly angry. In fact, it was like they went for war. Consequently, they exhumed her remains and waded through a river bordering the boundary town, walked the distance from Edo to Onicha Uku with her remains back home. She was properly buried here. That’s the extent to which my people can go to get women back home.”

He stated that it is a tradition they met and has been followed strictly without compromise. He opined that the issue of whether or not a woman desires it does not arise. It is her culture which has taken care of her place of burial. The women have no say because there is nothing they can do about it.

Ubani revealed another case where the deceased whose rich and influential children had prepared a befitting burial place for her and our people had also prepared a burial site for their daughter. Each side was busy with the preparation and while the waiting game continued, the first daughter of the woman, Ada, who was in the convoy from the mortuary, knowing very well the tradition of her mother’s people and the punishment awaiting them, if they deviate, cleverly diverted the convoy to her mother’s kindred, while her wealthy brother went home with his friends in expectation that his mother’s body would arrive soon enough for interment. It’s a mark of respect for our daughters. In line with tradition, an emissary was sent to the son to explain why he didn’t bring back his mother’s corpse home. He would later suffer the consequence on both sides. He was fined by his father’s family for keeping a grave without burying anything, while his mother’s side also punished him accordingly. A traditional cleansing ritual was later carried out to cover the empty grave.

Ubani maintained that in such circumstance, our daughters can never be traded for wealth or influence. “Irrespective of your socio-economic status, our cultural values are strictly followed,” he insisted.

For women, a thing of pride

Mrs Chionye Okolie, a mother of four from Onicha Uku told Daily Sun that it is a tradition they grew up with. “It is not something anyone can change. It is not a question of whether or not the woman wishes for it. You already know, so what is the point of raising an argument or issue about it. I wish to be taken back to my father’s house when my Chi (God) calls me,” she stated.

Mrs Okorfu Maria, 56, said: “When my mother died, she was buried in her father’s place. She always told my siblings and I about the tradition, and even though, our father had died, we knew that it was our obligation to take home. For me, it’s a pride that I did that. My own children know, so it is not negotiable. I will be taken back to my people on the last day. It is a shame on your children if they don’t take your remains home. It is not about whether the woman desires it or not. It is embedded in our tradition. It supersedes anyone’s socio-economic status.”

Mrs Cecilia Ngemegwai, from Onicha Ugbo, affirmed that although her second son is not yet of age to build a house, but whenever she goes to her maker, she will be interred in her second son’s house. She recalled an instance where her late aunty was wrongly buried in her husband’s house which, she said, was traditionally owned by her first son. The confusion, according to her, was because the second son had not built a house and there were issues over the parcel of land allocated to him. So, his mother was buried in her husband’s house. “They later exhumed her due to some unpleasant occurrences in the family,’’ she explained.

Efforts by Daily Sun to get the women’s pictures was rebuffed as they declined to show their faces.