How many sexual partners have you had in the past? In this clime, most women who ask their men this question ask not with the intention to walk away, but to try figure out the type of man they are dealing with, if he’s a hit and run, a player on a sampling spree, or just trying to know what to expect; while most men who insist on knowing how many men a girl has slept with ask with the intention to either walk away or match their strength in bed with her own level of experience. For example, if he has had sex with only three women and she tells him she has slept with over 10 men, his confidence will be shaken. In his head he’s wondering where she may place him, is it average, very good or not good enough.
Few years ago, I was in the midst of some very opinionated friends who don’t mind discussing whatever they fancied at each point in time. A fellow in this clique said he can’t deal with a virgin or inexperienced woman. He told us how he met a very beautiful and out going girl, he was very much attracted to the girl, from her appearance and the way she carried herself he felt she would have had sex before. But unfortunately when they got into bed he realised he would be her first and he turned down the offer to dis-virgin her. Now, This is something other men will kill for, but here is a man who wont have any dealings with a virgin or inexperienced woman. His reason for refusing to have sex with her even when he was all charged up is that he can’t start teaching her anything, neither was he ready for any blood affair. He prefers women who are already experienced and they both can give each other maximum satisfaction. He said he actually loves the girl very much, ‘I told her to go and look for any man that will make her a woman, then she should come back, because I will be waiting for her’. We all were looking at him like an alien. How could you claim to be in love with her, yet give her the express permission to go and get laid by a stranger and you are still ready to keep her as your lover? It sounded all strange to most of us with him that night, but his wing man who was also there with us attested to the fact that the lady in question consulted him out of confusion, because she felt he was just looking for a way to get rid of her. But after consulting his friend, he assured the girl that he meant well. He said she returned after a while and they were still together at the time we hung out that evening and he loves her very much to even take a step further in terms of proposing
While there are men who wont mind to travel the whole of this earth to wherever she is to have the opportunity to have the feel of virginity, there are men who don’t care if a woman is a virgin or how many men she has had sex with. Different strokes for different folks.
What are your intentions for wanting to know how many sex partners your girlfriend has had in the past?
What if she tells you she has slept with more than 10 men? Would you freak out? Would you walk away no matter how much you love her? What number to you is a No-no? Ridiculous.
To me so long as she is not having sex with any one else while you are dating her, whatever she did in the past should be between her and her conscience. It’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation. Your concern should be to have open discussions on how she likes it and how you both can drive each other to orgasm.
I repeat that I feel it’s nobody’s business how many sexual partners you have had in the past, so long as you are faithful to the one you are with right now.
I also feel you should be more concerned with STDs than you are about how many past sex partners.
There are people who have had protected sex with more than 10 partners at different times and are clean, (I am talking physical before some of us go spiritual on me) and not with any form of infection neither has she had any abortion, but there are also people who have had unprotected sex with only one partner all their lives and are walking around with different STDs, and have also had several abortions for this one partner.
What if she tells you the truth that she has slept with over 10 men, would you walk away or still be with her?
What if she tells you a white lie by giving you just a lower figure, e.g 2, as the answer? Would you believe her and stick around? Honest truth that you seek vs a white lie, which would you go with?
Also, rest assured that in the nearest future, as a woman when certain arguments arise, some petty partners might use your number information to insult you. For example: who knows how many abortions you had for the five men you slept with that had made it impossible for you to conceive till now. I bet that’s gonna hurt.To drive home my point, most men who are very concerned with numbers to me are insecure and overly possessive, they are men who would marry a woman today for the fact that they just found out she’s a virgin, forgetting that virginity, compatibility, understanding, love, loyalty, faithfulness etc are all different things to individuals and components of a good relationship.
Why do you want to know how many men she has slept with?
Of what use is the answer to your love for her?
How much of the truth can you handle?
Are you looking for just a fault to walk away, because she’s near perfect in every other aspects?
As for me, I’d advise you keep your numbers to yourself or tell a white lie if he insists.