Dear Njigirl,
I met this very hot guy about two months ago and we have been dating since then but he is not intellectually stimulating at all.
Our sex life is wonderful. Do you think it is more important to connect mentally than physically? I love our raunchy nights but I am so bored. Please help.
■ Eliza
Dear Eliza,
The answer to your question lies in what your priorities are for the future. Are you looking to settle down with Mr. Boring? How do you think you will occupy your waking moments when you are not in bed? You know there is so much to life outside the bedroom? So if you are looking to grow with someone, you want that someone to be able to communicate, interact and exchange ideas. If the person is incapable then it will be extremely boring. If he does not stimulate you intellectually then it is even more frustrating.
Now with all things being equal, it is better when the man you are dating is both intellectually and physically compatible with you. What then do you do when he has shortcomings? You have to help him if you think you like him enough. Share great articles on current affairs and ask him probing questions to get him to think. Find fun games to play with him and also challenge him on scrabble. You have only dated for two months but engage him in this way for the next three to four months and you will no longer be bored. What am I saying Eliza is if you find a good man, invest in him and keep him.
Cheers,
■ Dr. NJ