I went job-hunting at a filling station near my house, yesterday. But the manager waved me aside: “We don’t employ lazy people”, he said. I was mad! “Who told you I’m lazy?” “The president. He said Nigerians youths are lazy.” “Which president? You lie like Lai! I’m I a ‘jude’, sorry, youth? Besides, PMB never said Nigerians youths were lazy. He said they “sit and do nothing”!
Frustrated and livid, I returned home to a shock: my wife had sold all the chairs in the house! It took a lot of self control for me not to jump out of my TV ‘window’, the way bulky Dino Melaye allegedly jumped out of the window of a moving car.
Me: Baby, what happened to the chairs?
Madam: I sold them.
Me: Why?
Madam: I watched the president’s speech at the recent Commonwealth Business Forum. The man was clearly against people who “sit and do nothing”. And you do that a lot. You just “sit and do nothing”. Except watching news; reading newspapers; eating; thinking; correcting the children and occasionally transferring money for upkeep through bank app.
My wife’s understanding is that President Buhari was right in frowning at Nigerian youths who allegedly “sit and do nothing” – because it’s bad for health. Sitting and doing nothing connotes idleness; inactivity. And health experts say to “sit and do nothing” slows blood flow and affects the heart. Conclusion: In line with PMB’s observation, I should henceforth “stand and do nothing”. Women! If only she knows how many calories I burn everyday through pressing TV and AC remote controls and texting on social media platforms!
Anyway, I’m scared of being branded a “twister and manipulator” o. So, I agree that the president was right. Some youths “sit and do nothing”. I also agree that Baba did nothing wrong – after all, he “did” nothing; except sitting down to talk “off point” Is doing something. If that argument goes, then my wife would be wrong to accuse me of always sitting and doing nothing, except talk! Why? Because it’s traditional to sit and talk – especially when serious matters are involved.
So far, our youths have little or no blame for following tradition. Infancy and youthful age, I’m told, are periods that are most impressionistic. You see, Nigerian is a country of very serious leaders. Our politicians are always very busy trying to make the country very good. They upturn all the stones and never leave any unturned. Whether in terms of security, economy, etc. The only tragedy is that they never succeed! Some leave the stage worse than they met. All because they always “sit and do nothing”! So, our youths, if they “sit and do nothing”, must be copying the elders.
Yes, in this country, we all “sit and do nothing”. From the day most politicians get into office, that’s all they do – sit and do nothing. Check out the National Assembly. What do they do there, sef? They just sit do nothing. Except talking. Even when their mace was stolen in broad daylight by thugs, they did nothing. Only very few ran. Others just sat, confused.
On the pulpit, the pastors “sit and do nothing”. They only stand when they want to advertise miracles; preach breakthrough and prosperity; bless the offerings, etc. Else, even when some of them are killed in numbers, like in Benue, they “sit and do nothing”.
Police, too, “sit and do nothing”. Except collecting N20 notes at road junctions. They were there at the Senate when the thugs ran away with the mace. And they sat and did nothing when Melaye “jumped” through their car window and “escaped”! Chisos! Luckily, they found him miraculously (under the flyover like the mace?) same day. But wait o. So, if the bulky senator swallowed the engine of the moving vehicle, the police would’ve just sat there and watched him escape? Story, story! Story!!
You see, as a “sit-and-do-nothing” country, our government has set a lot of good examples. Officials flout Oga’s directives, “sit and do nothing”, and of course, nothing happens. Ask the IGP! They draw heavy estacodes supposedly for attending official functions abroad only to go and “sit (or is it lie?) and do nothing”. Some ministers recently went to UK Investment Summit but got missing in transit. Then, they lied about it all and returned home to laugh at the youths.
Oh, yes, Nigeria fights “kwaraption” a lot. To hell with Transparency International (TI), Fayose, Fani-Kayode and Trump’s shithole! Imagine, despite Buhari’s efforts, they still claim that the man and his government just “sit and do nothing”. Ok, It’s clear the rest belong to PDP. But TI? And I’m still investigating the USA, too. Imagine the latter’s damning 2017 verdict claiming (in PDP’s voice) that: “Although the law provides criminal penalties for conviction of official corruption, the government did not implement the law effectively, and officials frequently engaged in corrupt practices with impunity. Massive, widespread and pervasive corruption affected all levels of government and the security services.” In other words, Nigerian government sits and does nothing? Nansense!
Well, Nigerian youths may “sit and do nothing”. But that’s because they’re good students. They’ve watched all along as some who never went to school dictate the pace and appropriate the fortunes of Nigeria. So, if youths don’t go to school like PMB said, who’s to blame? Every good father expects the child to follow his steps, abi? And if the youths “sit and do nothing”, it’s because they observed their leaders do same, while the nation goes down. Well, in fairness to our leaders, they talk – big media boasts; set up committees; commissions; attend summits; issue directives; etc. All talks. Exactly that – talks! Empty talks! Talk is cheap. Talk is not doing. We talk too much in this country. In the process, we make mistakes and plenty excuses; repeat ourselves and still leave the works undone. Doing something means taking concrete actions – like ensuring security of lives; ensuring a productive economy and, well, moulding blocks!
The nation is tired of summits and talks that yield nothing. Like the last one Buhari just returned from. A clear question on investment opportunities in the North East, which he should have used to sell his country, became our undoing. Instead, our president told the world why they should not come to Nigeria: our active population – the youths – are uneducated and lazy. They would not welcome investors because they only sit and do nothing and expect housing, healthcare and education free.
Oh, by the way, when a government claims what is not, that’s sitting and doing nothing! For instance, Nigerian youths couldn’t be waiting for free housing because no housing scheme here ever impacts on the poor. They couldn’t be waiting for a none existent free healthcare. If we had that why would people be patronizing “agbo jedi”? Why would the herbal homes and alternative birth centres be thriving so much? If there’s free education, why would the youths be uneducated, Oga president? And the few who went to school, what jobs have you provided them, sir?
The truth is, Nigerians have been performing government’s functions since 1900. We dig boreholes in all homes because government failed to provide water. We buy generators because no electricity from national grid. Many drop out of schools because they can’t afford the fees. Many are homeless and live in squalor because they can’t afford housing. But they could have, if government had provided jobs, even for the uneducated populace. We form vigilante groups to protect ourselves because government security system collapsed. So, now, Mr. PMB, can you still sincerely say youths “sit and do nothing”, over?