I guess once in a while every Mum is a Drama Queen, mine is not an exception. “Okay Mama, calm down that’s enough! I needed all my wits to negotiate my way out of this one. I couldn’t be patronizing with my Mum and she will not be satisfied with me mouthing platitudes to pacify her. I needed a convincing argument if I was going to get out of this.
It felt like manoeuvring my way around a complex case and hostile witness in Court. “Mama,” I began with a heavy sigh. “I know my happiness is important to you so you wouldn’t want me to get married for the sake of it, would you?” I asked with little hope of being heeded because my Mum and I have had this conversation a couple of times. “Tobs, get married to a good man and happiness will come after,” my Mum said persuasively.
Did she really believe that? I rolled my eyes in frustration. It was a herculean task but I finally convinced my Mum that I will make a decision sooner than later. Finally, I curled up in bed early hours of the morning, exhausted both mentally and physically. Thank goodness Dennis left the following day Saturday and thankfully he didn’t come to the house before leaving. Thanksgiving was on Sunday, Monday was used to hang out with my siblings and parents; even the girls chose not to come to the family house that day to give us time to bond as a family.
I have often wondered why some Children wait till their parents are dead before they ‘celebrate’ them, it makes no sense. Honour and care for your parents when they are alive and not dead; they will not only appreciate you but their prayers for you will pave a pathway of success in all you do and be a covering for you in life. We returned to Lagos on Tuesday and everyone who attended has been talking about the ‘birthday carnival’ as they put it.
There is so much to do, this New Year although I don’t intend to work myself to the bone. My approach is simple; pray hard, work hard, relax; after all bodi no be fire wood and work some more. Did I get that right? I didn’t go to the Radio Station the Saturday I was out of Town so I’ll not miss this next Saturday. I have missed being on Unilag 103.1fm, even though it’s 8.00pm every Saturday obviously not always convenient but I won’t miss it for the world. Warien Rose Foundation, the Non-Governmental Organisation I run has a support Group; Domestic Violence Anonymous; which helps Men, Women, Youths and Children going through domestic abuse.
It will hold on the last Monday of the month as always, usual venue which is Golden Tulip Hotel, Festac Town. Is it me or did everyone else start the year exhausted? Even the girls have been quiet for a few days, I wonder. It’s my first work day of the year, I feel lethargic and my lacklustre attitude was ruining everyone’s day and mine. In retrospect my 2017 had its ups and downs.
In some of the low periods I had been slut shamed, insulted, harassed, treated like a bimbo; a pretty face with no brains and these men were actually surprised and a little intimidated when they got to know of my achievements’ and Awards. I have learnt to believe in God, myself and my abilities. “Miss Tobs, someone is here to see you, she is not on appointment,” Debbie my Secretary said jolting me to the present. “Good morning Barrister, I’m sorry for barging in without an appointment,” the stranger said apologetically when she was shown in.
I welcomed her with a smile, offering her tea or coffee; she opted for coffee. This is a woman who looked weary, whom it seemed the world had dealt an unfair blow, who looked beyond frustrated. I asked her to take her time and that’s when the sobs started; big, racking sobs that shook her entire frame. I went to her and put my arm around her and let her cry out her frustrations and pain.