THE definition of manhood is not the size of the third leg of the man bearing it, otherwise even a male roam­ing the street with his naked ‘dangling modifier’ will want to attend the monthly village meeting of red cap chiefs. What makes a man goes beyond designer suits and well-starched brocade. That a man has three wives and can regularly impregnate them is a proof of viril­ity not manhood. Most males can impregnate most females. Not a big deal, really. A man, a real man, is a provider. Not a provider of just money and jewelry, which are important, by the way… A real man is one with wisdom, the one whose strong square shoulders are not just accessories for nice shirts. He’s the one whose counsel you can use as compass. A real man protects his home. He does not make laws that put his family at the mercy of birds of prey and danger­ous animals. A man worth his title is not afraid of his wife’s wisdom and prosperity. He is not threatened by the prowess and possessions of the females of his clan. He does not think that his future is uncertain because the woman in his today are getting more educated. He simply protects them.
What kind of men are those who start sweating each time they bring a bill that seeks to protect women to the floor of the National Assembly? How do you describe a man who wants to be remembered for shooting down any thoughts or debate that will improve the lots of women? I can’t find the appropriate adjectives, words or concept that sum up what those men are. Do they actually read the Bible, Quran and pray? These men who promptly grab any of the holy books each time they see a female gender-sensitive document.
“It is not in our culture.”
“It is against our religion.”
What culture? Which religion? Is the former Yobe governor, Senator Abba Ibrahim godless because his wife was a member of the House of Representatives and now a minister? Maybe the frightened senators are holier than the ones who encourage their wives to live their dreams and fulfill destinies. I watched them making a mockery of themselves on national televi­sion, like millions of fellow Nigerians. What were they thinking? Were they even thinking at all? Where did these ones come from in the year of our Lord 2016? How did we end up with men who pee in their designer pants at the sight of a bill that seeks to protect their un­born grand-daughters ? What kind of men shoot down a bill that seeks to make life better, more decent for their sisters, wives, daughters?
But let us not dwell on the fears of frightened sena­tors. Let us just ensure that we assure them each op­portunity we get, that a woman who can hold her own, earn her own money is not an ‘anyhow wom­an’. A woman who can’t be threatened with hun­ger is still a decent woman. And of course, Senator Abiodun Olujimi’s bill was and is not a knife aimed at men’s manhood. It was aimed to make things better, not castrate frightened men.
Maria is a beautiful woman. She has always been. She had always been a head-turner right from the mo­ment she took her first breath in the delivery room. The nurses fell in love with her. Her father was smit­ten by her delicate looks and her mother was proud till she took her last breath at a ripe old age of 86. Bu t Maria’s parents were determined not to let their beau­tiful princess live on her beauty. They knew her face, fair skin and curves will open the doors of any palace or president for her but they made sure she got an edu­cation within the four walls of a school and at home. Her mother taught her how to protect herself against the wiles of the world. Her father tutored her about the tricks of young men and how to make her man do everything she wants without nagging. Her mother taught her how to scream without raising her voice.
All Maria wanted to be was a teacher in spite of her face and figure. With a degree in education, get­ting a job in a secondary school was not difficult in those days. She had not worked for more than six months when she met Emeka, a young lawyer who eventually became very rich. Like many men when they come into wealth, Emeka didn’t want his wife to work for another but Maria refused to be a full-time Emeka’s wife. They built a chain of reputable private schools which Maria ran. ‘Un­fortunately’, Emeka was only able to impregnate Maria with ‘XX’ chromosomes and so Maria gave birth to four daughters whose looks dwarfed their mother’s. That should be a great thing in other climes, right? Well, in Emeka’s community, Maria had not achieved much because she had not plant­ed a bottle. You are free to try to decode that but a woman who did not giver her husband a son is not an accomplished woman.
The ‘bush’ people in Emeka’s village advised him to take a second wife who will give him heirs. Did you just gasp? They did. They pressured him to no end, deriding his investment in ‘mere wom­en’ who will take everything to their husbands’ houses. Warped logic, if I ever had one. In one breath, female children are less than children and in another, they say daughters take their wealth to their husbands’ homes. And those husbands are male children!
Anyway, Emeka refused to be swayed. He sent his girls to the best schools and told his ‘bush’ friends and family that his princesses will marry kings and he will end up with four kings and four queens to call his own. Unfortunately, Emeka did not live to see that dream come true. His eldest princess was only 18 when he died in a car crash.
The vultures rallied and swooped to devour. The evil women met quickly with the bush men and de­cided that Maria must have killed Emeka, so that she and her ordinary daughters can take everything their brother had.
Foolish bush vultures. Maria was several steps ahead of them. The house was secured. There were barrel-chested bodyguards, armed policemen pro­tecting the house throughout the burial ceremony. Maria removed her 20-inch human hair wig to re­veal her clean-shaven head, made in Lagos by her barber. The vultures went home disappointed.
Most of the time, the widows that are oppressed and dispossessed are the un-empowered ones. There are widows you can disinherit and those you can’t. There are women you can bully and those you can’t.
From the way some of those senators trivialized the bill, it’s obvious we cannot leave the future of women in the hands of legislators. They will ei­ther insult our intelligence or advertise their own insensitivity. Where that leaves us is we must seize the initiative. Empower your daughters and I will empower mine.
Ensure the girl-child is given every opportu­nity to excel, protect herself and prosper in every way. It’s a long journey to the destination we want but that route is the only certain. Let’s groom the next generation of female professionals, confident wives and patriotic politicians. When we finally arrive, and we will, the scared men will need to overcome their fears or be contented being ‘Mijin Hajiya’.
We will make it worth their while.
The ‘bush’ people in Emeka’s village advised him to take a second wife who will give him heirs. Did you just gasp? They did. They pressured him to no end, deriding his investment in ‘mere women’ who will take everything to their husbands’ houses. Warped logic, if I ever had one. In one breath, female children are less than children and in another, they say daughters take their wealth to their husbands’ homes. And those husbands are male children!
Re: This growing clan of sick men
I was fortunate to have read your write up on the aforementioned subject. I must say that you took the words right off my mouth. I too felt a burning anger towards everyone from Yinusa’s side that was involved in Ese Oruru’s case. Even those in authority in Kano State, but as you said, we can’t use the action of one man to judge the whole state.
Imagine if after Ese was reunited with her family, several stories like hers start popping out on social media. If a southerner did some­thing of this magnitude we would not hear the end of it.
A lot of things need to change, I like the prayer you said at the end of your article. I just pray the perpetrators would be tried rath­er than being swept under the carpet as most things are done in this country of ours.
-Spencer Iyade
Pedophilia ordinarily should be a shame­ful thing, however in our nation it’s regarded as a light offence or even encouraged and endorsed. If we carry out a research today, many of our annual (ritual ) national honours awardees would be found to be principal pa­trons of these wicked acts. They will not es­cape God’s judgment.
-Remi Fadola,
Human Resource Manager,
Seven-Up Bottling Company Plc,
Abuja Plant.
I think a proper summary of the scandal is elders’ rascality fueling juvenile delinquency. Well done madam, I’m believing that soon and very soon I’ll get to meet the ‘Great Funke Egbemode’ in person.
-Nkwocha Henry ekwunkwocha@ya­hoo.com.com
You said it all even though your restrictive anger didn’t allow you to place generational curses on the criminals. As a 60-year-old man, I feel very sad having read yours and Fani Kayode’s ‘The sad case of Ese Oruru’.
If I am to release one bullet to kill Inuwa because of my anger, others will get ten bul­lets each.
Who are the others? Inuwa’s father, the dis­trict head, Emir of Kano, the Sharia Com­mission, Police AIG…and why ? They all had opportunities to save Ese Oruru early enough but they cheered and conspired on.

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