A secondary school teacher who was high on cheap drugs made a post recently on Facebook about proposing to young girls. He talked about hunting down young girls and planning a future with them. This teacher talked about catching them young, because the ladies in his age group have runz mentality. He talked about how these girls can be lured with as low as N500, because women in his age group are expensive. He said he was talking about girls who have finished West African School Certificate Examinations (WASCE).
When I saw this post, I was livid! I didn’t want to get angry today; I only wanted to write sweet nothings on relationship but all the rubbish in that post kept haunting me. I knew I had to do something to warn parents about this kind of teachers in our schools. I also had to speak to those guys who also share the same views as this teacher.
Gracious God, girls writing WASCE fall within the 14-16 age bracket. They are minors. So, why should a teacher who is meant to protect these girls think about luring them into marriage?
I thought teachers are meant to be accountable, holding themselves to the same expectations and standards as their students’.
Are teachers not meant to gain the trust of students and parents? If I can’t trust a teacher with my daughter, he has no business teaching her. If a teacher is thinking of how he will lure my daughter into eloping with him, then he should be locked up.
Moreover, shouldn’t a teacher be busy on how to create a lasting inspirational impact on a child?
He should be thinking of inventions and breaking boundaries for them. Or what stops a girl-child from learning coding and building apps? What stops a girl-child from becoming an accountant general of the federation?
But what’s our experience? Marriage! Yes, that’s the ultimate dream of the Nigerian girl-child. Well, marriage is a good thing but it shouldn’t be seen as an achievement. Our girls shouldn’t be raised as baby-making machines. Parents should take their children far off from people who think that girls should feel complete only when they are married.
I used to think the child-bride syndrome was peculiar to the north but I was told it happens in eastern Nigeria too, but the only difference is that these girls are allowed to finish secondary school. But does it still make a difference? These girls married off are still children! They are teenagers! They are minors, vulnerable and naïve! Oh, how sad!
Even as an adult, marriage can be very tasking, how much less these young children who are barely out of diapers.
I am very angry right now, so please spare the details of how your mum was married to your dad at age 13. I don’t want to hear such foolish sob stories, because we don’t want that for our daughters.
Please if you are going to share a tale of how you got married to your wife at 15 and how you guys are living happily ever after, please I beg you, don’t even try it. I am not speaking to your likes; I am speaking to only those who understand my language.
Enough of telling our daughters that the way to a man’s heart is his stomach! Enough of telling her that her ultimate ambition is to become somebody’s wife! Enough! I scream enough!
We should tell our girls to be boardroom giants, that they can be pilots or astronauts, inventors, doctors, lawyers or journalists. Let them read about women who conquered the world. Have you told her about Peggy Whitson, the female astronaut who just broke the record of cumulative stay in space? Let her write essays on her favorite female president, encourage her to search the Internet for female success stories that would inspire her.
Parents, let your daughters know that every male, be it a relative, teacher or gateman has boundaries and that those boundaries shouldn’t be broken for whatever reasons. Tell them they have no business being nice to anyone who breaks such boundaries. Let your daughters know that people who try to lure them with money are cheap and they have no reason(s) whatsoever to bring themselves low to make other people uncomfortable.
Do you know how much you have been paying in school fees? You know what happens to your account every time you pay her school feels? The many vacations you pay for and then one low life with no ambition is thinking of marrying her?
Tell them that a man luring them with a wad of naira notes is disrespecting them and you (their parents). Teach them contentment too.
Parents put on your whole amour and protect your daughters from all these child molesters and phedophiles on the prowl.
I won’t forget men who think like this teacher too, old men who think dipping their penis in the vaginas of these young girls is a cool thing to do. You are perverts.
You think scheming your way into the hearts of these young girls will save you money? I have said it times without number that if you don’t have money, you have no business looking for affection.
Even if these teenage girls are drooling over your six packs, swooning over your dark chocolate skin and your Adonis look makes them weak at the knees, you want to take advantage of them? Bros let me look for a MOPOL that will give you multiple slaps; it will help you reset your brain box. Did you just say, “Girls these days are spoilt and rotten already”? So you also want to chop and clean mouth; that’s a bad idea bros! Be responsible!
Okay, you are the brave one, the one with the heart of a lion and the soul of an angel. The uncle every teenage girl loves and are attracted to, whose words they cherish and whose smile they reciprocate so quickly. Those young girls only respect you; stop reading meanings to every move they make.
Learn to control your third leg so that you won’t ruin your future. My guy, even if you are 21 and having sex with a 17- year- old girl, you are having sex with a minor.
If you are 18 and having sex with a 16-year- old girl, she is still a minor. I know the two-year age difference isn’t that much and it’s normally standard. Moreover, you guys are teenagers fooling around but that doesn’t erase the fact that she is still a child while you are already an adult under the law.
Any man who is having sex with a teenage girl, no matter your intentions or future plans for her, whether she is so in love with you and the sex is consensual, it’s statutory rape and aggravated child molestation.
I wonder why you have not noticed Sekinatu that sells agege bread to you every morning. All her body language screams she wants you; it will only cost you a bottle of coke and sweet nothings. If you can’t afford the big girls, Sekinatu has a vagina too! Leave our teenage girls alone!
Re: Nigerian men, marry from your social class
Bolatito stop exposing your lack of parental upbringing to the unsuspecting public, your rubbish article was to say the least, irresponsible and unfortunate. Please write what will help the society more. –Chief Ibeka
I read your piece on “marrying from your social class” and your pen sure showed class. I agree with you as it reduces divorce cases”.
–Eloka from Anambra
Madam Bolatito, I read your piece yesterday. You did not just nail it, in fact you killed it. I was almost a victim. In fact, I feel like blowing you a hot kiss and then put a golden crown on your head. You are simply one in a million! –Gabriel Oshevire
You really spoke my mind; in fact most of us today don’t even know what is good for us, in terms of class. –Kehinde from Abuja
My sister, your point today is candidly pungent. You are a realist. Marriage is not an idealistic venture and since it is a life long relationship, anyone intending to go into it and make a success of it must heed your advice. Thanks for being “offensive”. –Loveday Njoku, Owerri, Imo State
Your article was the damn truth but it explored one side of class which is men going for ladies of higher class which of course is the turbulent side. I think the other side which is men going for women of lower class is rather smoother or do you want to explore this in another article. –Bona
Sweetheart, thumbs up for you. You said it all, look at me with a master’s degree in English Language and a trader with WASC wants to marry me. Voice it out, let them seek their level. –Ify
Bola that’s a great piece. –Rev Arize Nwobu
Bolatito, there is no reason to doubt your submission on each of the species of mismatched marital relationships. Lion being a carnivore won’t marry a tigress that is also a carnivore. A reasonable man would not venture into tying the knot with a higher class lady, richer and better educated and expect her to submit to his headship of the home
Bola you got this one spot on, I cannot agree more with you. Kudos! –Dr Uche