You have lost a lot of dad friends because you criticized their parenting, you helicopter parented their child, or you got angry when they gave you notes on your helicopter parenting.
Kate Halim
No parenting style is perfect but being a helicopter parent is quite problematic. This is not to demonize helicopter parents: your baby is your baby and it’s your biological instinct to protect your child, but balancing protection and a sense of freedom and individual identity is very important while raising your child.
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Here are signs you might be a helicopter parent:
You sort out fights with other parents
You don’t encourage your child to sort out his own arguments with friends. If your child comes home upset about something another kid did, you just demand a meeting with their parent to talk about why their child is wrong.
You use safety constraints your child has outgrown
Your child is using bed rails and tricycle wheels long past the age the rest of his friends are. He still uses the scooter with the seat when the other children his age are on standing models.
You won’t allow your child go on field trips
You won’t let your child go on field trips. Any overnight one is definitely out of the question. So when it is time for your child’s whole class to go to another state to learn about the political buildings and history, you just organize your own, identical, one-on-one trip with your child.
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You spy, even when the babysitter is there
Even though the babysitter you adore or even your own partner is watching over the child, you peek in. You use your phone to spy in on the webcams and confirm things are going the way you want them to go.
You answer for your child
When people ask your child questions like, “Are you in the school play?” and “Who is your best friend?” you provide answers for your child. You also order food at restaurants for your child even though they are a bit too old for that.
Authority figures are wrong; your child is perfect
If a teacher or school principal calls you in to tell you your child misbehaved, you pounce on that authority figure and tell them they are wrong and explain how perfect your child has been.
Teachers avoid you
When your child’s teachers see you coming, they disperse in all directions. Nobody wants to deal with you—and they know you have a long list of issues to bring up.
Your babysitter is always nervous
Your babysitter is always very on edge. If you call her name, she comes to you looking frightened. She’s learned that somehow, you will always find something wrong with her work.
You have burnt a lot of daddy friendship bridges
You have lost a lot of dad friends because you criticized their parenting, you helicopter parented their child, or you got angry when they gave you notes on your helicopter parenting.
You are the only parent who gets on the bus
You get on the bus to make sure it’s safe for your child. You check if the seatbelts are working, or if the driver is experienced. You just can’t leave your child alone to be independent.