By Christy Anyanwu
Bolaji Osime, a lawyer and educationist is doing great in moulding and talking sense into heads of youngsters. She holds any audience spellbound when she starts talking about decadence in today’s teenagers. Osime, is the CEO of Global International College, Lekki Phase 1, Lagos. In this interview with Sunday Sun recently, she once again relays her message.
Is it right to say today’s parents are the cause of today’s youths delinquency?
The mandate of a parent is in Proverbs 22:6 which says, “…Train a child up in the way he will go and when he grows up he will not depart from it…” Lots of children have no home training and for teachers to perform the duty of parents is just not right. Parents need to know that they are the first port of call. God is asking them to raise godly children. If a child is not well trained at the age of seven, there’s nothing you can do. Age seven is when you must inculcate good morals in a child, otherwise you have a challenge. Some of our parents were busy at work when we were growing and now they are telling us to behave. The point is, we don’t even know what the standards are, so, when parents fail to train up a godly child they can’t expect the child to behave on his/her own. Children cannot bring up themselves; their natural tendency is to be bad. A lot of parents don’t even know themselves, they behave anyhow too. So, we have a challenge. A young boy at a parenting seminar wondered aloud “When my dad brings a girlfriend home what do I do? You are telling me not to have girlfriends but my daddy brings girlfriends home?” So, a lot of children are seeing what their parents are modeling. Show me a child and I will tell you her parents exactly. When I see a child, I can tell you the kind of home he or she comes from.
You spend most of your time with students. What do you think is the major cause of their waywardness?
A lot of kids are not well adjusted and though they want to be good but they don’t know how to.
It’s only God and the word of God that can really mentor a child and when that child grows up and goes to America or England for further studies he/she is still disciplined and that’s why primary education is so critical. The book of Proverbs says use the rod of correction and there’s no big deal. When the child is not doing well they say it’s the mother and when the child is doing well, it’s the father. Basically, that’s why you find a lot of women in education. Naturally, God has endowed us towards education and to help.
For me, I’m their second mother and a lot of parents tell me “You are their mother just look after them”, but I insist that if you have not trained this child up, it’s a big job for me to introduce the bible to them at 18. Solomon taught his child through proverbs, so every parent should even start through proverbs and teach the child about those things God is talking about.
Suicide is rife among teenagers. I have talked to students who feel their parents are putting them under too much pressure academically to perform. I have special kids who cannot do what other kids can do.
Parents should attend conferences to know that when a child is sleeping all the time, he’s taking drug and you need to take your child to the hospital to check their urine frequently. It could be depression or anxiety too; in fact, there’s so much happening. Homosexuality and lesbianism is also rife among these kids.
My students confronted me when I was talking to them about boy-girl relationship and asked “Mrs. Osime you are talking about boy-girl relationship, what about sexuality?” I asked them what they meant by sexuality and they responded “boy-boy, girl-girl relationship”.
“If a man marries a woman and finds out that “she’s a man” what does he do”, a 12- year-old asked me? I was shocked. They are getting a lot of stuff on the Internet and they are totally confused. We need to protect the Nigerian child. It’s critical. Narcotics are now epidemic and practically many teenagers are smoking weeds. The Nigerian weed sends them straight to Aro, because it’s laced with chemicals. It’s not the typical one our young men took those days (marijuana), this one is laced with chemicals.
You are so passionate about teenagers; does your childhood have anything to do with all these?
That’s why I can’t forget my mum. As a teenager and youth, my mum was always in my room. She has six children and she brought us up by fire by force.
She’s a tough woman. It really boils down to the mother at the end of the day. My father had to go to work. My mother’s lifestyle influenced me and made me who I am today. It’s not what the father does that matters in the life of a child.
Like when I’m before my students they say “Mrs. Osime what you are telling us our mum didn’t tell us”. These children are confused. I tell them that I’m quoting the bible. My mother brought me up with the bible and it’s the bible I’m telling you guys. It’s not my own dogma.
What’s your advice to parents?
If parents take time when children are age five, 10 or 13 years old and spend time with their children and build their foundation with the word of God, then we can actually release them to go. Fathers have to create time for their boys and girls. It’s so important – no matter how busy you are, spend time with your children and talk to them. It’s not just enough to send your child overseas for academics. The question that you should note is who will provide moral support to the child over there? Kids are returning home from UK, because they don’t have the moral basis for tertiary education.
I keep talking to universities in the UK everyday, seeking to know what kind of support they provide for Nigerian students and they really don’t have to be looking after children who are 18 years old, who are supposed to be adults. Therefore, the work of preparing children to live godly lives overseas starts from here at home. We advise parents to keep their children with them. Don’t rush them to the UK or the United States at 16 or 17 as a lot of children are putting their parents under pressure. Whether their parents can afford it or not they don’t really want to know and a lot of them are not mature enough to cope with the freedom out there.
Your school is 19 years old, how has it been?
It’s awesome and we are planning our own university and trusting God and it shall come to pass very soon.
What’s the secret of your good looks?
You have to look good when you are in the midst of these young children. My students told me years ago that I dressed like a mummy. I told them I’m sorry.
My son tells me, “Mummy don’t wear that dress, don’t wear this and that, so that when you stand beside me, I’m proud to tell people that you are my mum”. You know your image is critical. Children look up to us. When you go somewhere, people listen to you, it’s very important how you comport yourself.