“I don’t think it is in a woman’s place to propose marriage to a man. It doesn’t matter how long you have dated.”
We have heard and also seen videos of women proposing marriage to men. These men are no strangers to these women. They have dated these men for some time and may have had conversations about settling down.
If they love each other and she feels that they are ready to get married, and he’s taking forever to propose, shouldn’t she feel empowered to propose? Why must the man be the person who is deemed wise enough to decide when it’s the right time to propose?
When it comes to certain aspects of life, I’m typical. I believe more in traditional gender role approach. Like a man asking a woman he likes out, spelling his intentions in plain terms. It is also a woman’s right to accept or turn him down.
It is normal for a woman to find a man attractive, and can do whatever it takes to get his attention so long as she doesn’t ridicule herself in the process, but no woman should ask a man out immediately they meet.
As grown adults, that you are attracted to each other does not in any way mean you both should start having sex without the man making his intentions known at least. A man has to say what he wants.
Showing you green light is not enough. With no commitment he’s very single, meaning he can do whatever he wants with whoever he wants and still keep you around because he gives off this illusion that the two of you will one day be more than just friends.
This happens when you have already started giving him things his title in your life does not entail. You should not hop into bed or undefined relationship with a man just because you find him attractive.
Most men don’t need to have feelings for you to want to have sex with you. Assuming and concluding even before he states his intentions may leave you disappointed and heart broken when you want more than he’s willing to offer.
Dear ladies, a man asking you out is one of your unspoken bragging rights, even if the relationship ends eventually, you will still have this feeling that he actually wanted you and came for you, not the other way round.
Men naturally like to pursue and conquer. This is not to say women are to be conquered, but a woman’s heart has to be won. There is honor, dignity and commitment that is given to a woman when she is pursued and won over.
When a man asks you out, it comes with certain rights and privileges, you get to know where you stand with him and even ask questions, but if you are open-minded enough to ask him out, prepare your mind to take him as he is or just move on when what you feel is not reciprocated.
I also don’t think it is in a woman’s place to propose marriage to a man. It doesn’t matter how long you have dated. It is very glaring that more and more men are becoming comfortable time wasters, dating women for years even when they see no future with her.
READ ALSO: Signs your man is not ready for MARRIAGE
Marriage is a decision for both people involved to make. Once both parties decide, it is then the job of the man to help seal the deal by asking you to marry him.
The average African man even if they are shy, ready or not, likely to win the affection of their women, they do this through deliberate efforts, but when you propose marriage to him he feels emasculated in some way.
You also set yourself up for him to treat anyhow because he begins to suspect every of your move or view your words as controlling. You are worthy of pursuit, allow your man do it when he is ready.
Some men may be financially prepared but not emotionally ready, while others are emotionally there but financially handicapped. Some have it all but you are not the one they see in their future.
Most men like we have seen in those videos where women propose to men always stage a walk out on those women for reasons best known to them. Just as women have the right to turn down a man’s marriage offer, men have the same right to say no to your proposal.
If you are desperate to settle down with him because you feel he’s the one, then give him an ultimatum instead. If he seems to be slow regarding where your relationship is headed, give him a time frame to either put a ring on it and walk you down the aisle or let you go.
No mature woman wants to remain in an undefined relationship where her future is not assured. Have that honest conversation with him regarding your relationship. Ask questions and know what his plans are.
If the ultimatum elapses and it’s obvious he is not ready to commit to you by his actions, inactions and utterances, then just walk away and stay away. He will come after you if he’s really interested in having you for keeps and if he doesn’t, you just saved yourself from a time waster, move on.
As a woman, do your part and allow the man do his own. He should be the one to ask you to marry him while he slips the ring into your finger after you have accepted, anything short of this may spell doom in no distant time.