Four years after they got married in a lavish ceremony that was the talk of the town for almost a year, Edwin and Patricia started fighting like cat and dog. She accused Edwin of having an extra-marital affair. This he vehemently denied. In turn, he accused her of making up things to cover up for her inability to give him a child.

The misunderstanding degenerated into arguments. They blamed each other for their infertility. It looked like the love that they both shared had flown out of the window and the differences that were beginning to show up in their relationship was threatening to destroy their young marriage. They took to avoiding each other at home and sex became a chore rather than a bonding process.

Confused, hurt and angry, Patricia turned to the one person who she could trust to talk some sense into her husband, Daniel, his childhood friend and best man at their wedding. She told him about the problems she was having with his friend and how it was affecting their marriage.

Daniel being the great friend that he had always been listened to everything Patricia had to say with rapt attention. He felt pained that his friends were fighting a lot and their union was being threatened. He wiped Patricia’s tears and assured her that Edwin would change. He promised to talk to him and help them resolve their problems.

Grateful and relieved, Patricia returned home determined to make her marriage work. She avoided Edwin throughout the weekend because she wanted to have a talk with him after Daniel must have spoken some sense into him. Already, he had informed her that he would be meeting with Edwin.

And, truly, after Edwin came home from meeting with Daniel, he appeared sober and heartbroken. He walked up to her and held her close to him, raising her face so that he could lovingly look into her eyes. He apologized for all the hurtful words he had used on her lately and assured her that he wasn’t cheating on her. He said that work had been hectic and it was affecting him. He also said he was sorry for blaming her for their inability to have a child.

Patricia started crying. She hugged him tightly and apologized to him too amidst hot tears trickling down her cheeks. She promised that she would do everything within her power to be that sweet woman he courted and married. She then kissed him deeply until they ended up in their massive bed in the heat of passion.

Things returned to normal between them for a while until one fateful day when Edwin got a call from Patricia’s colleague, Frank. Frank told him that he didn’t want to lie to him anymore about his wife’s affair. He told Edwin that Patricia was lying to him. He confirmed that she was having an affair and that if he wanted to know the truth about his wife, he should go the address he would give him.

Feeling angry and bitter because Patricia has always accused him of cheating while she was the one playing the field, Edwin dressed up quickly and drove to the address that Frank had given him. When he got into the compound, the door to the flat facing the gate where Frank told him Patricia used as her love nest was open.

He went in praying to God to help him control his emotions. He felt so bad that Patricia was making a fool of him. He tiptoed to the bedroom where he heard some moaning. This made his heart threaten to jump out of his chest. He just wanted to catch Patricia in the act and tell her to her face that she was a big liar.

But Edwin wasn’t prepared for what he saw in the bedroom as he pushed the door open quietly. He saw Patricia having sex with Daniel, his best friend. Things became dark for a while. He felt dizzy. He felt knots tightening in his stomach. He suddenly felt nauseous too. Then rage took hold of him. He called Patricia who sprang to her feet and started begging him.

He looked at both of them in disgust. He didn’t believe Daniel was his wife’s lover and he was pretending to be the good friend trying to help him salvage his crumbling marriage. He trusted him but he was a snake who only saw an opportunity to take his wife.

The worst part was that Daniel wasn’t remorseful. He told Edwin that he didn’t know how to treat his wife and he is providing her with everything he denied her. Edwin felt like someone stabbed in the heart when he heard those words. He left the apartment in a hurry. He didn’t want to commit murder. He warned Patricia not to follow him.

Dazed, Edwin left the compound and went straight to his parents’ house. He told them what happened and later filed for divorce from Patricia, and thus, brought to an end, a deceptive love story, one that Edwin doesn’t ever want to remember. He felt like a fool because his best friend and ex-wife fooled him for a long time.

It took Edwin a while to trust another woman. But he did and later got remarried. He has two children with his second wife. You see, when the topic of home breakers is raised, people automatically look at women. They point fingers at women for breaking the marriage of another woman. They forget that men can be home breakers too.

Some men like Daniel in the above story covet their friend’s wives and drive a wedge between the couple so that they can have the women to themselves. Some who have good friends devoted to their marriages and families have led their friends astray. They introduce these men to different women just to destroy their marriages. There are male home breakers and every right thinking man should be wary of them. If your friend is always complaining about your wife, it’s time to shine your eyes. He may be eyeing her or may have even asked her out and she refused. He then tries to plant seeds of distrust in your heart so that you both will continue fighting. Watch out for that friend who doesn’t see anything good in your wife. He might be scheming to break your home.

You should avoid friends that report your wife’s Facebook posts to you. What is their business with the things your wife posts on Facebook to begin with? Why are they monitoring your woman on social media? Some go as far as copying the posts and sending to their friends. I wonder what they want to achieve if you fight with your wife because of them.

Be wary of that friend who always complains about you doing house chores and cooking for your family whenever they visit you. Those ones who tell you that maybe your wife has given you vegetable soup to eat that makes you cook and clean for her are home breakers. They are not happy in their homes because they treat their wives like slaves and they want you to do the same. They want you to be as miserable as they are.

If you are a wise man who desires to have a peaceful and happy marriage, set boundaries with your friends. Don’t allow them to come between you and your wife. Don’t allow them to destroy their marriage with their unsolicited words and advice. Don’t allow them to take your wife from you while they are pretending to help you. Don’t say Kate didn’t warn you about male home breakers. You should avoid them for the sake of your marriage.

Re: Awful things husbands should stop doing to their wives

You want a husband to wash his wife’s clothes and dishes while the wife is not sick? I feel that you might have had a horrible experience with men through the things you write. You sound like you need a slave and not a husband. –E. A. Ashibogu

Thank you Kate, you said it all. Marriage is about meeting one another’s needs and not one person oppressing the other. -Comrade Okorie Ndubuisi

Kate, I agree with what you wrote about some men because those you addressed last week know themselves and should not call themselves men. However, there are terrible women too and you need to write about them sometimes or you will be doing a great injustice to them because they will think they are blameless. –Dayo

A wife material deserves to be pampered but not in a position to summon her man to wash her clothes. It is a taboo for a man to wash his wife’s clothes. Any man who does that is no longer the head. He has become a woman wrapper. –Sunny

Kate, you advised bad husbands to change for the better. I am surprised that people who don’t see any good in another person are calling you names. Thanks for standing on the side of truth. You say things they way they are; well done. –Mr. James Ekpeh, Lagos

Kate, thanks for your advice to men but do you know the spiritual implication of men washing their wives’ clothes? If all men begin to belittle themselves by washing their wives’ clothes, then they need deliverance. It is not right. –Ukeme

Kate, you are providing checklists for men to readjust in their marital responsibilities for better marriages. A real man should love his wife the way she is, helping her in his own ways to bolster her ego. Real love is practical. –Tony, Umuahia