It was a beautiful evening, the sun was just setting and the darkness just began to form when I decided to take a walk outside. I had  earphones plugged into my ears and I noticed that Coco and Nana were both having a heated argument. I turned off the music to listen to their argument. I smiled when I got the gist of their argument, it was quite an interesting talk and the good thing is that this topic has been debated  back and forth on social media for a while. It’s even a topic many husbands and wives are still not sure of.  Even many religious leaders have conflicting views on this matter. Let’s listen to Coco and Nana on oral sex.

Coco:  Nana, are you saying oral sex is not sex?

Nana: Technically oral sex is not real sex. Sexual intercourse is a sex between a man and a woman that involves penetration. So, even if you have had oral sex it cannot result into pregnancy, so it’s not sex.

Coco:  Nana, so someone who had oral sex with several partners is a virgin. Are you serious? Are you telling me that if your spouse had oral sex with another person it’s not cheating?

Nana: Forget that one! Oral sex is just fooling around joo but over spirituality is worrying you

Coco: It really baffles me Nana that only the traditional method of sexual intercourse is sex. For crying out loud it involves sexual organs and fluids unlike what you suggested earlier, during oral sex there is a risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, so, it’s sex.

Nana: Duh, but some people are saying oral sex is a sin too which I vehemently disagree with.

Coco: Yea they speak the truth. It’s perversion and I dislike it.

Nana: Stop pretending. Are you saying you don’t get a head?

Coco: What is a head?

Nana: Oh my goodness! You must be joking you don’t know what a head is?  Even 16 year olds know it. Coco, I have said it and time again, go get yourself a life.

Coco: I might not know what a head is but I think I have an idea what a blow job is…

Nana: Now you are  talking, so the opposite of getting a head is a blow job. In fact, some girls won’t give you a blow job if you don’t give them a head.

Coco:  You guys use your mouth for all these right?

Nana: Yes ke , why are you like you just saw a dirty latrine?

Coco: This same mouth you use for prayers?

Nana: En and we eat with it?

Coco: Nana, you know your mouth is not created to be a sex organ right? It should be used for eating, praying and singing praises to God.

Nana: Somebody shout hallelujah, praises ko, prayers ni….Please don’t go there. You see, in as much as my partner and I are cool with it. There is no problem.

Coco: Are you saying that if two people who are masochists come together to have sex by inflicting pain on themselves they are right hugh? These people can decide to choke, whip or physically degrade themselves to get orgasm o. Do you say this is fine too?

Nana: Of course these are exceptions now. Coco why are you saying this? These ones are perverts now and torture is a strange way to express love joo.

Coco: Let us leave that aside then. What about people who do anal sex? Of course they get pleasure too and does that make it acceptable? In fact, if you are caught practicing homosexuality in Nigeria you know what that means? Kirikiri straight!

Nana: You are not getting this? Coco, do I have to break your head to fix this into it?  Giving a head or blow job is not perversion and it cannot be , it’s a way of expressing love to somebody special.

Coco: Are you telling me there is good perversion and bad perversion? Are you telling me we can bend the rules for one and call the other bad?

Nana: Oh…please stop it! Stop using that word!! Stop labeling  a beautiful art of sex with an ugly name.

Coco: Okay I will stop. But, If you think it’s right to put a penis inside someone’s mouth or shove it down the throat, why can’t you put it in other holes in the person’s body like noses or ears?

Nana: Coco, I think you are just insane.

Coco: Call me names if you like, Nana but that is the truth. Traditional sex is the best thing ever created by God.

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Nana: Okay, back your argument up with a bible passage or a Quran verse.

Coco:  I don’t have one here now. But all this perversion is only being fueled by pornography. You guys watch too much porn, which is bad.

Nana:  Porn is bad too? You are still in 1256 Coco. You must be a real bore in bed! You better go take courses to hone your sexual skills.

Coco: I don’t need lessons on it. Honestly, I used to feel giving blow jobs was a way of demeaning women but I am shocked at the way many women are supporting this.

Nana: That is why I said, you are so inexperienced. You see  modern women view bjs as a form of male dominance and these make them feel sexually empowered. Go and find out how many women now go to goggle to learn more about oral sex. Some even go as far as buying instructional videos so that they can have an edge.

Coco: I pity this generation.

Nana: I feel sorry for you more Coco.

As much as what a couple does in bed is their business we should ask ourselves certain questions like:

Is oral sex voluntary and do both  husband and wife agree on it?

Why do you want oral sex? Is it for pure sexual pleasure or is it to fulfill a sexual fantasy derived from porn?

Have you or your spouse been convicted by your religion or culture that oral sex is wrong?

Does oral sex fulfill both you and your spouse?

These questions can be a sort of guide to make you draw your own conclusions on oral sex.  So, what are your thoughts on oral sex?


Re: Nigerian husbands & wives: The good, the bad and the ugly

I want to commend you for your article. May God bless you. At least your piece will help any reasonable man in choosing his future partner. Bless you, the world expects more from you. –08039…6347

On Nigerian wives:  there are some who are hard working but they are not interested in sex at all. –080371…..298

Having read your article of last two Sundays on men and women, the good, the bad and ugly. Strictly speaking you are amazing. Ride on girl!  –08068…98

I read your article in Sunday Sun  on Nigerian wives. Wow! That was a master piece. I commend you.  –KC

Hi sister Bola, I waited till today after you must have concluded the Nigerian wives. But I found out that none of last week’s description is applicable to me and today’s own too is not applicable to my wife. I can’t explain why. Can you help out?

–Wole Akinjayeju, Yaba, Lagos.

Among  Nigerian wives, which category do you belong? More so, which category of Nigerian husbands does your man belong?

–Alkali from Festac.

Daddy G.O is the funniest –08188….428

Dear Bolatito,

You are a wonderful writer, on the topic Nigerian husband: the good bad and ugly, you speak nothing but the truth keep it up. I love it. –Maria G.

Nigerian Husband: I really appreciate your advice and words of wisdom to every Nigerian husband. Keep it up.  Atunwa Kehinde.

Bolatito, my waiting for a week to see whether I would have to court martial you for taking sides in your write-up titled  Nigerian Husbands, Wives: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly was rendered a waste of patience for fairness in commentary on them. Your proactive objective of exposing the ills of “ the good, bad and the ugly Nigerian husbands and wives, is to help prospective victims of marital relationships on either side of the divide. One has no choice than to commend your effort at researching into shortcomings in marital relationships, under various circumstances, favourable or otherwise. That said, the divine instruction that man is the head of the family has been sidelined by the earthly doctrine of sex-equality now prevalent in the world. People, hinged unto religious doctrines, would not tolerate sex-equality principle as it constitutes a sin against God’s commandment. –Lai Ashadele.

As an ardent reader of your column, I appreciate your article that deeply touches the area that young ladies/guys and couples need to be aware of. Young ladies should know what they want in marriage. They  shouldn’t  allow the bully to suppress them, hubby clingy shouldn’t be allowed to hit her,a lady in that category should let the hubby clingy relatives know their son’s condition,blind love allowed those ladies to allow Daddy leech to make sway and it’s only deep thinkers that know that love is not blind but full of responsibilities. Daddy flirt result could endanger the live of his wife, Mummy’s boy divided love and care in his home so unfortunate. Daddy G.O wives will be cheating I guess because their sexual urge is not adequately met in the name of religion. Women that have caring husband these days should count themselves lucky because they give their wives rest of mind. I desire to be a caring husband. Thanks Ma. –Aina Akindele Oyebanji, Ketu, Lagos State.