Commitment is a big deal in relationships. But these days, it seems some people are interested in having open relationships.
In an open relationship, while you can totally be committed to your partner, it is inarguably a different kind of commitment, the kind that often doesn’t require physical monogamy.
Most times, it is men who are more interested in having multiple partners. It’s not about stereotypes because some women cheat too, but it’s still interesting to hear from men who have been in a committed relationship for years and are happy about it.
These men who spoke with Effects reveal what they appreciate most about long-term commitment.
Edwin: I love the teamwork aspect of being in a marriage
Marriage is the opposite of what some cynics say. It’s not the end of some part of your life like some people fear, if with the right person, marriage improves you. It’s actually the start of a team.
I’m a better person because of my wife and our lives have improved because we stuck to each other. When you get married, you have a partner in your life. It’s not just you; it’s the two of you against the world with double the strength to tackle any obstacles in your way. I have been married for eight years.
Daniel: The best thing about being in a long-term marriage is authenticity
The best thing about being in a long-term marriage is the authenticity that comes with it and the freedom to be vulnerable with my best friend. I have been married for ten years now with three children and I don’t regret being in a committed relationship.
During dating, there’s always a tendency to hold back or put on a bit of a facade. That facade disappears in the best relationships when you eventually get married and start having children. In marriage, it’s you laid bare before your partner and you are not ashamed.
Nicholas: It is a privilege waking up to the same loving woman everyday
Marriage has brought true companionship, stability and consistency to my life. It’s great if you find the right person who is willing to commit to sacrificing and working together. It’s truly a wonderful blessing to have the privilege of waking up to the same faithful, loving woman for all these years. We have been married for 18 years now and I am glad we are still together.
Francis: What I love most about commitment is comfort
What I love the most about commitment and committed relationships is the comfort in knowing there’s someone out there who you can share your whole life with that you can talk to about anything and share life’s happiness or sadness with.
No matter how some men want to pretend that marriage is only important to women, men are the biggest gainers in a marriage. As a man who enjoys the commitment of a good, faithful and caring woman, you will live long. You can face anything out there and win because you have the support of your number one cheerleader at home.
Dumebi: I love the closeness commitment brings
There’s a strong bonding that takes place when a man and woman settles for life together for many years. I have been married for over 20 years and my wife and I have become used to each other. As one of my friends says, ‘I stay with my partner because it would take too long to train another.’ In other words, my partner and I are well-bonded. It has not all been bliss and laughter, but I won’t have it any other way.
Patrick: I love our relationship because there’s mutual trust
I have been married for 14 years now and I love our relationship because there’s a mutual level of trust, commitment and dedication. We have similar goals and shared values. There’s a great comfort knowing that someone will always be there for you no matter what comes against you. This confidence enables me to take the kinds of risks I do in business and investment.
Munachi: Marital commitment brought me safety
One of the reasons why I love commitment in a long-term marriage is for the amazing safety and closeness I feel with my wife and soul mate. I feel that our marriage is a totally safe place for me to be who I am and also get the help for who I want to be without judgment or ridicule.
Dayo: Acceptance is the best thing about getting married
After having been single for so long, my first reaction is to staying in a committed relationship, is no more serial dating, blind dates, dating services, and speed dating. I have tried them all. But when I met my wife, I knew my life won’t be the same anymore. We have been married for six years now and she completes me. I have come to realize that being with someone who really and truly loves you is the best thing about being married. I love knowing that when I come home, I’m going to be with someone who loves me without condition, who has my back, who will go through fire for me.
Kenneth: Marriage gave me a new family
I waited until 40 to get married because I was scared of committing to one woman. It took my career falling flat before I realized what I was missing. I met my wife on a dating website. My wife and my children are the best thing that ever happened to me. Before, it was always about me, the self-made perfectionist. I was the baby of my own family. Work was my safe zone, providing the illusion of control. Along came a beautiful, mature, and loving woman who turned my life around.
Through the many challenges we have faced as husband and wife, we have been able to be good spouses to each other and great parents to our children. Now we are inseparable. I tell people that changing your mind about staying in a committed relationship can happen at any age. My story is a perfect example because I was scared of staying in a committed relationship.
Kevin: I have learnt patience from being married
I am in a relationship that has a dimension I have never experienced. We listen attentively and patiently to the each other and let the other person take time to say what he or she has to say. If we have a difference of opinion, we don’t say things like, ‘I didn’t like what you said or did.’ Rather, we say, ‘When you said that, or did that, here’s how I felt,’ and the words that follow are very personal and reveal our hurtful feelings.
When you throw in an intense physical attraction and an equally intense personality attraction, and the result is magical. When I come in from a hard day’s job and see her, my immediate reaction is peace.
Being in a committed relationship teaches you patience. This isn’t a dream. I really am in a relationship with this great person and she feels exactly the same way. We have been married for 10 years now and I am glad she is still in my life.

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