Recently, the issue of women proposing to their men has dominated cyber space. This issue came to fore after a video went viral of a lady proposing to her man in a mall and he said no. While some people see nothing wrong with it, others claim that it is not in the place of women to propose marriage.

Some men say that according to tradition, it is the man who is expected to propose to a woman and she is expected to show initial resistance before she gives in no matter how much she loves the man.

Some single men and women share their views on this issue below.

Chijioke: Desperate women are the ones who propose to men

Ladies should stop dragging and pestering men to marry them. Things don’t work out that way. Men are the ones who should be in charge of proposing to women and not the other way round. That’s not our culture.

Ladies should allow their men be the man in the relationship and make his decisions whether to marry you or not. Let him move at his own pace and if it’s too slow, leave or take a seat.

Women who are desperate to get married are the ones who propose to men. They should stop trying to force men to marry them. Such marriages don’t end well.

Akinwale: Any woman who proposes to a man is cheap

According to our tradition, it is the man who is expected to propose. The woman is expected to show initial resistance before she gives in, no matter how much she loves the man. A woman who proposes to a man is cheap and desperate.

If a woman’s proposal is accepted and problems arise later in the relationship, most men retort that they didn’t want the relationship in the first place and that it was the woman who forced herself on themselves. A man can use it to insult you.

This can be humiliating. Therefore, for a woman irrespective of her worth, fame, beauty and academic qualification, the psychological element remains – a woman wants to be proposed to and not otherwise.

Godwin: A woman should wait to be proposed to

I don’t think a woman should ask a man to marry her. She should wait until he asks her. It is sweeter that way. If she proposes, does he get a diamond ring? Does she get to plan the wedding the way she wants after stampeding the man into marriage? Would she have a say in that union later on? Is it not a sign of desperation? Ladies, live well enough alone and when he is ready and wants to marry you, he will ask. Everything comes at its appointed time

Obiageli: A woman should propose to her man so he won’t keep wasting her time

The greatest emotional need of a woman is a relationship. But in this time of gender equality, where women have successfully invaded all areas traditionally reserved for men, there is nothing wrong with a woman seeking the desire of her heart.

Put your pride and traditional norms away, because nothing can be more important than matters of the heart. What a man can do, a woman can do better. If a man suppresses his emotions and has great difficulty telling a woman he loves her, she should help him out.

If a man loves you, but finds it difficult to propose, then man up, and propose to him so he won’t keep wasting your time. If you propose and he doesn’t want to get married to you because you took the first step, then, it’s his loss.

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Emmanuel: If a man wants to marry you, he will definitely propose

If a man wants to marry you, then he will do it without threats or intimidation. He will do it without you taking the first step to remind him of what he wants to do. Women don’t need to be that forward in relationships. It doesn’t speak well of you as a woman to appear so desperate that you go ahead to propose to a man.

Women need to be patient and quiet, even if they don’t think a man is moving fast enough. A woman should also set a time limit in her mind and move on with her life if she is no longer satisfied with the relationship. Keep marriage threats and intimidation out of the relationship.

Pressuring a man to marry you after a few months, or weeks is crazy. Discussing marriage after a year is okay provided your relationship has grown and you are curious about what your man is thinking and you want to let him know that you want a real family.

Margaret: If you love him enough to marry him, propose to him

If you find someone you love, go after him relentlessly. It is better to try and lose than to live in regret. Nowadays, there are more eligible women than men.

Relationship manhunt has become very competitive. If you just sit there for someone to come and propose, time may pass you by. In the end, you will be no match for younger and more sophisticated women.

If you are ready for marriage and have prayed about it, the time to look for your spouse is now. The only way to play the game is to be on the field. If you find a man you love enough to marry, propose to him. Take the bull by the horns before it slips through your fingers. The bottom line is that anybody can propose. Love goes beyond sex and gender. True love is all that matters. Men should stop seeing this as a big deal.

Ikenna: Why drag him to the altar if he’s not ready?

Women propose marriage most of the time. Sure, the man will get down on one knee and ask her to marry him, but from my experience, it is women who usually bring up the idea of marriage first.

The man’s proposal is merely a formality at that point. Sometimes the man will agree to marriage without any additional discussion, and at other times, the woman has to do some additional arm-twisting.

So, it is completely normal to propose marriage to your boyfriend. If you don’t, most men will be happy with the status quo, dating indefinitely. But ladies should also think about life afterwards.

Is that the kind of marriage relationship you want, where you have to drag him to the altar? Don’t you think it could affect the marriage, how well he treats you after getting married etc? When women do this, I feel it makes men think that the man is out of her league, and he was settling for her, even though that’s often not the case but psychologically, that’s what he will likely think.

Onoriode: Any woman who proposes to a man is settling for less

In this part of the world, proposing to man, no matter how much you both love each other is a bad idea. Nigerian men have huge egos and doing that will send a wrong signal that you are too desperate to wait for him to do the right thing.

Any woman who drags a man to the altar is a woman who is ultimately settling for less than she deserves in a relationship.  She is settling for a man who doesn’t really want to be with her, all because she invested a number of years in the relationship.

If a man puts out the disclaimer earlier on like, “I’m not looking for anything serious, “I can’t predict how I will feel a year from now, then bail, before you invest and waste time in a relationship with an unwilling partner. Our society is not yet ready for such change of roles when it comes to proposing.