Getting married is one of the biggest decisions that you will ever make. You are entrusting the rest of your life into the care of another human being and sharing everything forever is a big commitment to make.
But there are many out there who may have rushed into things a little too quickly because they didn’t take time to know their partners. That is why courtship is an important stage in a couple’s relationship.
It is a time for couples to get to know each other well. It’s a time to know the likes and dislikes of your would be husband or wife. It is also time to know their values, beliefs and stand on some important issues such as finance, parenting, marriage and settling disputes.
Unfortunately, many young men and women don’t use their courtship period well. They only spend time kissing, having sex and visiting different places. They don’t pay attention to important details about their partners that can cause problems in their marriages later. They don’t know how their partners react under stress or their stand on domestic violence, cheating and divorce.
Courtship is not the time to put up with negative behaviours because you don’t want another woman or man to snatch your partner. It is not the time for ladies to prove the quality of their wife material by slaving away in their partner’s kitchens and on their beds. It is not the time for men to impress their partners with their fat bank accounts and build castles in the air.
So here are the things you must do with your potential spouse before you walk up that aisle.
Understand your partner’s life goals
If you don’t know your partner’s life goals, then ask. You have to go into marriage knowing what you both want out of life – both individually and as a couple. And remember that while marriages always involve some form of sacrifices on both sides, no one should give up their dreams for the other person.
You need to know that you can handle the inevitable rows and be able to move on from them. Arguments are never pleasant but are often necessary to air things and can actually make a relationship stronger. But if you are with someone who handles them in the worst possible way, marriage could be tricky.
Meet both parents
Two people planning to get married should meet each other’s families. It’s always best to iron out any differences or awkwardness that comes with meeting parents and family members of your fiancé. These people will become a huge part of your life when you eventually get married.
Get to know each other’s friends
Meet your partner’s friends and find out the kind of crowd he or she moves with. You shouldn’t leave such an important aspect of your partner’s to chance. Get to know his or her friends and build relationships with them too. It will help you both in the long run.
Explore each other’s sexuality
Sex isn’t the beginning and end of a relationship but it’s very important. Even if you don’t want to have sex before marriage, you should at least discuss it. If you are not sexually compatible, you could be signing up for a pretty tense and satisfactory marriage.
Experience financial stress as a team
Money worries are the top reason for marriage breakdowns so you need to practise how you will overcome these things as a team first. Know what your partner earns or makes from their business and plan your financial future carefully and together before you walk down the aisle.
Show your bad habits
There’s no point in pretending to be someone you are not because you want to get married. Ensure your partner loves you for who you are. If they can’t cope with your snoring, belching or nail chewing, then it’s best that you find out now and decide what you want to do.
Apologise and mean it
You have to know how to say sorry. Make sure you can prove to your partner that you are man or woman enough to hold your hands up when you are wrong. The respect you will win will be massive.
Disagree but stick to your guns
You also have to show your partner that you will stand by your views too. Of course you should compromise, but no one wants to be with someone who always backs down. It’s all about respect again. Your partner should know the deal breakers in your relationship.