Sometime ago, Umar Labdo Muhammad, a Professor of Islamic Political Thoughts at Yusuf Maitama Sule University, Kano, came under fire for his view that Benue State belongs to the Fulani by conquest. In this interview, he insisted on his earlier position on the contentious issue even as he made another startling disclosure that the Hausa/Fulani…
Every woman dreams about her wedding day at one time or another. She pictures it as a day of bliss with her friends and family members around while she clings to her love and they make vows to be with each other till death do them part.
The special day is supposed to be perfect but we’re aware that nothing is perfect in life. Sometimes, some women regret one thing or another about their wedding days. Some of the women share with Effects some of the things they wished they had changed about the happiest days of their lives.
Nnenna: I wouldn’t have allowed my cousin to make the foods for my wedding
I have been married for four years now. I got married in a court but I would have hired a professional photographer so I would have more than enough awkwardly angled snapshots of the day. I wouldn’t have allowed a family member to make food for my guests because she messed up the whole thing. I would have gone through the pains of paying a professional caterer to do the job. I regret trusting my cousin with my wedding day food. The rice was stale and my guests complained of stomach upsets after eating at the reception.
Irene: I would have been more precise about our wedding day music
My husband is a musician, and we agreed not to parade a live band because the reception would have just turned into one big jam session. So, I made my findings about DJs and I was able to hire one who was reputed to be one of the best in the area. I trusted him to know what he was doing, and we spoke just once before the event. He never asked me the type of music we liked, so I assumed he knew we were having a small church wedding. One of my bridesmaids spent the whole day telling him to change the music because it did not fit into the occasion. Given the importance of music to the event, I would have been more precise about our wedding day music.
Doris: The photographer took photos of the wrong guests
I had the best photographer at my wedding but he went about taking pictures of people we didn’t know well. It was like he was confused or something. He didn’t focus on us neither our family members. When he brought the pictures, I started crying. It was like he didn’t know who and who not to snap. The photo album was full of pictures of people that didn’t matter to us. He took photos of the wrong guests. I have not recovered from that blunder till today. I paid him half of his fees. That was one thing I would have changed about my wedding day without blinking an eyelid.
Jennifer: I would have loved a better photograph of myself and the groom
My photographer took decent photos but he wasn’t experienced with making the best timeline decisions. For example, my wedding held in the evening and it was outdoor. The setting was gorgeous before the ceremony kicked off but became dark afterwards. He could have advised us to snap our couple pictures before the commencement of the ceremony in order to achieve the most beautiful shots, but he didn’t have that intuition. Photographs are one aspect of your wedding ceremony that you will keep forever. So, it’s an important area you cannot afford to mess up. The photographer just messed up one of the most beautiful days of my life.
Vivienne: I would have customized my wedding cake
I got married nine years ago and I loved everything about my wedding day, but if I have the chance to turn back the hands of time, I would consider into customizing my wedding cake. I was young, we didn’t have Pinterest back then and I didn’t know much about options. I went with the cake the caterer gave me. It didn’t come out well though. It was one thing I would have paid more attention to because I love cakes.
Modupe: I would have employed the services of a professional stylist
When my husband and I got married five years ago, we were struggling financially. I had wanted a big society wedding but because of financial constraints, we made do with what we had. Nothing is as lasting as the wedding photos, and I looked cheap. What happened was that a friend in beauty school offered to make my hair and makeup as wedding support. I was trying to be supportive and I was afraid to ask how good she was. She wasn’t good and I found out later. She made me look like a masquerade on my wedding day. I struggled with tears when I saw my wedding day pictures.
Sarah: I wish I had more time to spend with those who were really close to me
We didn’t have a big wedding by any means, just a little over 100 guests in attendance, but it was still too many. I hardly got to talk to one person because I was saying hello to everyone. It also cost us more money which kept rising as more people needed to be paid for one thing or the other. I wish I had more time to spend with those who were really close to me. I didn’t even take a photo with my grandparents and they have been sweet to me in all the tears. It was heartbreaking because I love my grandparents more than my parents.
Stephanie: I would have gone for outdoor wedding
My wedding day was hot. Sweat dripped from my gel laced hair down my face. It messed up my makeup such that I had to leave my groom on seat in order to touch up my makeup. The sun made my guests uncomfortable. My hair went flat and during the prayer, I let go of my husband’s hand to wipe sweat off my upper lip. It was not good I would have opted for outdoor wedding.
Amaka: I wouldn’t have worried too much about friends’ disappointing us
I was stressed that no one would come. I had nightmares about it, and the thought that our friends and some family members wouldn’t show up completely consumed me months before the big event. Looking back now, two years after, I realized how amazing our wedding was. Our friends and family members stood by us, supported us and made our day memorable. I didn’t know why I worried too much about the day not going smoothly. It was wasted stress and energy.
Ijeoma: I would have been happier
I did not want to get married in my 20s. However, my parents did not wish to wait any longer. In Igbo land, it is a common trend to get the daughters married as soon as they get a good wedding proposal. Therefore, when my mom received an excellent marriage proposal for me, she practically forced me to get married, and I could not deny her. This does not mean that I wasn’t annoyed. I was infuriated, to say the least. I performed all the rituals for the sake of it. My mind was somewhere else.
After three years of living with my amazing husband, I regret not being happy on the day of my wedding. I wish I had been more involved in the wedding preparations. My wedding dress was a mess, and the venue was not as glorious as I would have wanted it to be, but I married a good and loving man. He has been my backbone ever since and I have grown to love it.
Arese: I would have left for the church service earlier
I was up at 6 am. to get my hair done before our 11:00 a.m. ceremony. By 9 a.m, I wasn’t still done with my hair and makeup. I thought I had all the time in the world because the church was not far from my parent’s house. I left home by past 10 am and didn’t get to the church until past noon. My husband was frantic. He thought I had left him stranded at the altar. There was an accident on our way to church and it delayed us for over an hour as they tried to get the truck out of the road. I regret not leaving the house earlier. But we got married and have two children today.