W-a-n-t-e-d
‘We need husbands, but men not
forthcoming’
•Doctors warn about late marriages
By JOSSY IDAM & SAMUEL OLATUNJI
Sunday,
June
29, 2008

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•Ronke
Photo: Sun News Publishing |
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“In that day, seven women will take hold one man and
say, ‘we will eat our own food and provide our own clothes;
only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace.’”
The above passage is taken from the Holy Bible, specifically
Isaiah 4: 1.
Prophetically, the day or era under reference, it would seem,
is here. Indeed, never before than now have women been so
worried about getting married, even doing untoward things
to earn the prefix – Mrs.
With 140 million people, sex ratio of Nigeria’s population
does not put women at a disadvantage. Yet there seems to be
some sort of role reversal, as women now confront men with
the question: “Will you marry me?”
So what is the problem? Why the scramble? Where are the eligible
bachelors? Who would mop up the legion of ladies that scramble
for the bouquet at the end of each wedding ceremony?
The situation has, in fact, taken a desperate dimension as
a crop of
beautiful and successful women allege conspiracy by bachelors
to keep them guessing. Consequently, they would not cease
to bemoan the seeming unwillingness by eligible bachelors
to propose marriage.
The bachelors, Sunday Sun learnt, are “made, ripe and
ready” but refrain from proposing. They date the girls
around serially but foot-drag, decline to take any of the
heartthrobs to the altar or marriage registry and pronounce
the noble words: “I do”.
Hiring and firing
The obviously heartbroken girls also accuse the foot-loose
fellows of “fancy free” and engaging in “adding
and dropping”. Disclosing in intimate details how a
guy she had gone out with for over two years “dumped”
her, a lady who only gave her pet name as “Mimi”
said. “The guy at first told me we were getting married.
I opened my heart to him, gave him my love and my all but
just when I thought we were settling down, he brought in another
girl and threw me out.”
Feeling cheated and hard-done-by, Mimi angrily flared up:
“Look, men are not serious any more. They prefer hanging
out with different girls but not keen on settling down. They
only taste and go.”
Wrong move
For not easily explained reason, the old guys are flying without
perching. Empress Njamah, an actress believes the guys are
scared of getting into the wrong hands. Said she: “They
are scared of settling down with the wrong babes. And it’s
also affecting the women. Men should change their mentality.
For those thinking of money before marriage, they should know
that most women want to marry love before money.”
Cossy Orjiakor, believes marriage can be daunting for a man
who doesn’t have enough materially. “He has to
think of shelter for his family, and you know, babies too
will have to be taken care of,” she said. Considering
herself lucky, as she claims to receive a lot of marriage
proposals every week, Cossy explained that good looking, rich
men find it difficult to decide who they want because, “a
lot of girls chase them and say yes.”
As though settling down to her is an oddity, Cossy told Sunday
Sun: “It’s only the average people who are getting
married now.”
Fear of commitment
Big Brother Africa first runner-up, Ofunneka Molokwu says
men are scared to make commitment. “They’re scared
to commit themselves to something they are not sure of, and
I think it’s affecting women as well,” she said.
Single and still-searching, the affable celebrity sees marriage
as a game of chance -something that has 50 per cent probability
of not working. She attributes the trend to high divorce rate
and prevalence of broken homes. “If you look around,
most families are either separated or divorced. So, men are
bidding their time rather than rush in and rush out soon,”
she lectured.
One of the hot cake bachelors on the entertainment scene,
Segun Obe shares the same concern with Ofunneka. Hear him:
“You have to be sure of what you‘re doing and
be sure that you will not rush out of it.”
Shot gun option
As a way out of this dicey situation, Ofunneka revealed that
a lot of ‘ripe women’ are having kids out of wedlock.
Though she decline to disclose if she was considering the
shot gun option, she however told Sunday Sun that running
a relationship is a huge stress. To get by, she said: “People
now procreate -have kids out of wedlock and raise them single-handedly.”
Fools rush…
Funke Akindele, an actress feels that only fools rush into
a place where angels fear to go into. To her, the lull in
marital affairs is attributable to the impatience of women.
“Most single ladies compare themselves to married women
and start getting worried. I think it’s this comparison
that gives the impression of scarcity of husbands,”
she said, praying to God Almighty to give her a man of her
own.
Another star actress, Ronke Ojo, alias Oshodi Oke, thinks
husbands abound. “I don’t believe men are scarce.
If I want to marry four husbands tomorrow, I can comfortably
do so,” she boasted.
Drowned by number
A police officer, Jonathan Osaze told Sunday Sun that women
far out-number men, and this, to him, explains why all of
them can’t be married. “The good ones are few
and that’s the reason we take our time. No man would
like to rush into it and regret later.”
Stifling economy
A gospel artiste and chronic bachelor, Sammie Okposo, have
kept the girls guessing over the years. He told Sunday Sun
that Nigerian men now prefer career to marriage. In his own
words: “A lot of young men these days are in pursuit
of money and career. The urge for them to get married is not
there. They would rather make all the money first, get established
before they think of marriage.”
Huge cost of marriage
Frank Onwordi, a businessman and seemingly a comfortable bachelor
blames the lull on the downturn of the nation’s economy.
“The economy is bad and marriage is expensive. A man
needs a roof over his head, big purse before embarking on
marriage. You know how it is - buying this and that for traditional,
court registry and the church marriage ceremonies. The whole
thing is expensive and there’s no money,” he laments.
‘Over successful’
Bankole Adelani, a staff of one of the GSM providers told
Sunday Sun that the real reason is that a bunch of the old
spinsters are damn too successful. “Imagine the girl
you love owning her own house, a big jeep plus other cars,
has a steady job and flies in and out of the country. Man,
the whole thing is intimidating. How can you measure up with
such a high flier?” he asked and sighed deeply with
resignation. |