Don’t try to argue with a control freak. They will always want to have the last word. It is energy draining, and you don’t need your inner calm disturbed.
Kate Halim
Being in a relationship with a control freak is emotionally draining. It’s like nothing you say or do is ever enough.
Such people always want to be in control of whatever happens in your relationship without considering your feelings and opinions.
Here are some ways to handle a control freak if you think your partner is one:
Maintain your calm
When someone is demanding that you do something that they want you to do, just smile, and do what you want to do instead.
Stay calm and don’t try to argue with a control freak. They will always want to have the last word. It is energy draining, and you don’t need your inner calm disturbed.
Don’t try to control the controller
It won’t get you anywhere if you try and control the controller. They are in their own world where they are the boss of everything.
You can’t win with a controller because they are hypocritical. It’s okay for them to do something, but if you do it, you are bad or wrong. Always! You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
Shake off their nasty comments
Control freaks can be quite abusive in various forms.
They may call you names and tell you what they think all your shortcomings are.
You have to understand that this is their truth. They really think these things about you. They may not be true to you, but they are to them. So you need to believe in yourself, love yourself, and stay strong.
You might even tell the control freak that you are holding a mirror to their comments. This may stop the abuse, as they are not getting the desired result, which is to make you feel bullied, worthless, and insecure.
Stay away
Keep as much distance between you and the controller as possible. It may be hard but get busy with your own life and come into contact with them as little as can be managed. This will result in
a wave of calm and peace in your life.
You can refuse to have a date to see that person and tell them that you are busy with a personal project. Then go and find a personal project that will serve you more than spending time with somebody who is draining you.
Be kind to the controller
Always be kind. These people need more love than others. They aren’t happy inside, so they have to control everything they can to maintain their version of happiness. I don’t mean you have to please them by doing what they say.
Give them compliments so they feel better about themselves and maybe loosen their need to control you a little. If you are always kind, they will lose their ability to make you lose your control so that they can exert theirs.
Become uncontrollable
Take responsibility for your own life. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and don’t drain you. Politely refuse to be controlled by someone who claims they love you. You are your own person. Do what’s best for you.
Don’t let them make you feel bad
You control how you feel, nobody else. You are enough as you are. Believe in yourself, and adamantly refuse to take any notice of what a control freak is saying about you.
Controlling people want you to feel bad about yourself, so they can feel better about themselves. More than likely, they are jealous of you and your life.
Choose to forgive
To forgive those who do wrong against us is an empowering thing to do. The person who is trying to control you may not have much love in their life. More than likely, they have been controlled themselves and are just following learned behaviour.
It is what it is. They do not know any better. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Just be kind, be strong, and be you. You can’t go wrong with forgiveness.
When someone is nasty to you, it probably stems from jealousy. When people are jealous of you, then you are usually doing something right. Keep going. Don’t let anyone drag you down.