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Older men spoiling teenagers

It is true some teenage girls fancy older men, some go as far as flirting with grown men including their teachers, but it is in your place as an adult to never engage or encourage them.

Amaka Nicholas

I was at a bus stop waiting for someone on a Monday morning and something unusual caught my attention. There were many teenage school girls everywhere just hanging around. Some of them were not even making efforts to catch buses. These girls only hop into specific buses or cars.

I needed to understand what was happening, so I got back to the same bus stop the next morning and the same scenario played out again. It aroused my curiosity, I had to ask questions.

I approached some hawkers and petty traders around who revealed to me how these secondary school girls are girlfriends of bus drivers, bus conductors, keke riders, okada men and some older men.

These girls hang around bus stops waiting for their boyfriends to drop them at school, go home with them or go to hotels whenever they felt like it.

This is what goes on in every nook and cranny of our cities especially government schools with very large number of students. I wasn’t surprised when a friend by name Amonia Rita Stewart on social media narrated her experience about this worrisome trend.

She said: “If your daughters, sisters, cousins, nieces, househelps attend Rumuokuta Girls, always try to check if they are really in school. The way I see girls between the ages of 12-17 wear school uniforms to school in the morning, look for one corner on my street and change into mufti then follow one boy or mature men is appalling. And when school is about closing you see them come and wear back their uniforms.”

Our little girls are no longer little; grown men with no shame are preying on them. These men know how gullible, insecure and desperate these teenagers want to feel like they matter, flattered, attractive. They know how they want to be treated like adults, have adult conversations, and looked at with adult eyes.

READ ALSO: Side effects of mobile phones on teenagers

They know how these girls see their relationship with them like their gateway to adulthood, so, dating teenagers is a huge opportunity for these men who struggle with women their own age.

It is an emotionally and intellectually unbalanced relationship, which is exploitative and manipulative. These girls are passive around these men. They look up to them, believe them, listen and obey them, and want to please them. These girls are easily impressed by these men because they don’t know better.

Being found attractive by grown men make these girls feel good and confident. Some of them even begin to drastically alter their personalities to fit into what these men like.

Dear parents, grown men are liking your girls in a way adults should not like children. As a parent, your responsibilities doesn’t end with paying school fees, feeding, clothing, shelter, pocket money, transport fare etc.

Your girl child is gullible and falling for a deadly soul whose plans for her is sex, drugs, alcohol, pregnancy, dropping out of school, sexually transmitted diseases, abortion and probably death.

Teenage pregnancy is often as a result of irresponsible behavior of older men. These men damage these girls’ minds and bodies and abandon them like used tampons when they get pregnant. Trying to get rid of their unwanted pregnancies may lead to health complications and even death in some cases.

It is upsetting seeing adults resort to preying on little girls in a harmful and unhealthy relationship, rather than seeking out women their own age. It is a very costly mistake to everyone involved from the child, parents, and the society at large because these men often don’t have sex with these girls with protection. They believe they are still clean and these little girls lack the experience and guts to call them to order.

No normal and responsible adult would want to be with a teenage girl, only paedophiles and ritualists do so. They manipulate and even threaten these girls because they know that the relationship is wrong on every level which is why it is always kept secret.

It is true some teenage girls fancy older men, some go as far as flirting with grown men including their teachers, but it is in your place as an adult to never engage or encourage them. It is your responsibility to encourage them to go for someone in their age range, although they may consider boys their age immature.

We cannot continuously turn a blind eye to this trend. When we pretend in the name of minding our business, we ignore the problem and allow it to flourish. If you see some of these sneaking around, call them to order, report them to their schools and even to their parents.

The adults who are paedophiles should be called out, embarrassed and reported appropriately. Hotels must not allow grown men bring in little girls to defile in the name of business.

Teachers must keep a close eye to know when these girls resume and leave school and also report to their parents. Parents should continue to educate their sons and daughters on the dangers of growing too fast. You must be their friend and be very observant. Pay them unscheduled visits in school as well.


About author

Tokunbo David
Tokunbo David

Writer and editor.

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