Dating for single moms and dads can be tricky. Many men stay away from single moms because they see them as cheap women who should be left in the dating pool.

Some men claim they won’t go near single moms because they are promiscuous, while some women say they won’t ever date or marry a single father because they can’t stand them giving all their attention to their children.

These men and women shared their dating experiences with single parents with Effects.

Michael: She wanted us to get married, but I wasn’t ready

I started dating this single mom of one right after I bought my house. She works in a bank and had a lot of routines. She has a nice apartment and was very hard working too. I was not as rich as she was, but I loved her because she was everything I wanted in a woman. We also shared similar interest about many issues.

Our relationship started out well. We talked a lot and met a couple of times. Then she started talking about our future all of a sudden. She started calling me 4-7 times a day, if I didn’t pick up, she would just keep calling. She wanted us to get serious with our relationship by getting married, but I wasn’t ready for that.

She became obsessed with me. She didn’t mind that I had my own business. I sensed she was the selfish type and it broke my heart, because I really loved her. Then she started demanding things after five months of dating and that’s when I called it off. It wasn’t a pleasant experience for me, but I wouldn’t mind dating a single mom again.

Jennifer: It was comforting to know that he is a great parent

I am a single mom and I have never dated a single dad until a few months ago. I will say I now know what it’s like being on the other side. Honestly, it was nice dating a man without a child, because you will get all of their attention and time. But dating a single father means that you will share the attention and time with another human being who will always be more important than me.

However, it was comforting to know that he is a great parent and does everything he can for his daughter and hopefully will feel similarly for myself and my daughter. She is the most important thing in his life and I watched him make sacrifices for her well being.

I think dating a man with a child shows someone’s true character and can make it easier in evaluating their personality. I am enjoying my relationship with him because I understand that his daughter always comes first. We are good. We plan on introducing the children to each other next month. I pray they get along well.

Olufemi: Single mothers are selfless beings, I won’t mind dating one

I am a single parent. I am 34 and the mother of my child and I split up two years ago. Since I have a child, I do not mind if my partner has one too. I would completely respect the child and the father of the child. In my situation, we live in separate states and I transfer money to my baby’s mama’s bank account on the first for his upkeep. I won’t mind dating a single mother because I know that such women are selfless. Taking care of their children alone makes them the best mothers one can have for their children. People should stop seeing them as loose women. They are even more honest than the ones who pretend to be chaste.

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Anthony: I didn’t fit into her plans because her daughter was her number one priority

Last year, I almost dated a single mother, but didn’t. We liked each other and talked about dating, but she did tell me her daughter was her first priority. I understand that completely, and agree that’s how it should be. But at the same time, I didn’t want to make someone my number one priority when I’m not her number one priority.

I was 30, and had no experience with children. And I felt like I would have been chained down a bit if I dated her. I was scared of being with her. She could really never go out much because she was a single parent. I still have a lot of stuff I want to do before I get married and have kids, but I knew I couldn’t do those things with her.

After a while, I just told her I would like us to just be friends. She actually got mad at me, telling me I led her on. We didn’t talk for a couple months after that, but after like two months, we started talking again and are friends again. But I try to give her space, so I don’t lead her on or anything like that. I don’t want to get too close to her because I am not the man for her.

Debo: I broke up with her because of the way she treats her child

I told her from the beginning I would date her, but I would not be a stand-in father for her daughter. She understood and never did expect that out of me, but she was a terrible mother and it gave me anxiety. She would use her daughter to manipulate people, especially her own family, to get away and party all the time.

I felt really bad for that child, she was a sweetheart. I kept thinking how if things stay this way then she’s going to have a very hard life and her time of ignorance being bliss won’t last much longer. It didn’t last. I broke up with her because of the way she treats her child.

Nneka: Dating a single dad is a real learning process

I have been dating a single dad for a year now, and it’s been great. It was a little difficult at the beginning because he was 10 years older and his daughter was five. So I had no real experience with children, but I had to learn how to care for his daughter, because of our relationship. It’s a real learning process and you learn to sacrifice occasionally, but I love him and his daughter. We are getting married next year. I am happy that his daughter loves me too and accepted me as her mother too.

Tessy: Dating a single father means courting unending drama

 Dating a single dad never goes well. It is full of unending drama. You will always have their ex in your life unless you are lucky enough that she’s in jail or dead. There’s always something up with their child that they need to handle. You will never come first in a single dad’s life.

But then you have to deal with the poor kid because their real mother is gone. And secretly, you nurse your fears because if you say it, you will be accused of not accepting their child.

Then you start having doubts about your man because you don’t know what tomorrow might bring. You are not even sure his child will accept you. It’s so much work. I would rather date a single guy with no baggage. I don’t think I have the strength to be second best in a man’s life.