From MURPHY GANAGANA and JOHN ADAMS For Maryam Umar, a grandmother resident at a Fulani settlement close to Yaba, a remote community in Gwada district, Shiroro Local Government Area of Niger State, her heart bleeds daily. In the past 26 months, sorrow and anguish has been her companion. Barely two years ago, she lost her…
Have you got sugar mama potentials? Sugar mamas are hot cakes now! But you don’t have to be well advanced in age to fall into that category; all you need is a good paying job. Any lady of marriageable age with a well-secured means of living is a sugar mama potential.
Long gone are the days when women were gold diggers, right now they are almost non-existent. Many women are financially independent and so they are no longer digging for any fortune. Now, things have changed, and it is the men that are going on treasure hunts, but these men are not doing so with shovel or spade. Oh, that’s archaic. They go with the latest drilling machines and computerized caterpillars.
Last week, a story of a young guy went viral on social media, about a love gone sour and there was an allegation against him that he duped two women of about N11.5million. He dated these two women separately, lured them into a business deal and took off. He has deactivated his account and no one can reach him again.
I really don’t understand why women at the mention of marriage, lose their guards. Single ladies, why is it that when men dangle marriage likes carrots in your face you lose all sense of reasoning?
This is not the first time this would happen and this won’t be the last time but I don’t know why our single ladies have refused to learn their lessons.
Recently, I met a lady in her mid-thirties and she told me about how all the men that she goes into a relationship with ends up stealing her money and then they would leave her. She wanted to know why she kept attracting these type of guys. I told her that she kept getting into this kind of relationship because the guys knew she was desperate to get married. I knew I hit a nerve somewhere but I had to tell her the brutal truth.
It’s quite unfortunate that we have a lot of lazy lying young men around. I see them in my estate, young men who wake up early in the morning smoking Indian hemp and have no jobs. They are in their early 30’s and some are even in their 40’s and they are not looking for a job. All they are after is to get a young and rich woman to befriend. Also, on my phone, there are so many young men in their 20s looking for one sugar mummy or the other. It is sad and I’m afraid for the future of these young men because this trend is becoming an epidemic. This is their trick: they look for women who are sex starved, they get them trapped with sex and probably get their nudity. Then they give them a business idea and ask the women to bring in money and when she gladly does that, then the relationship gets to another level. However, if she later realizes that something is not going right and she wants to protest, they lay out all the evidence of her past erotic adventures and use such to blackmail her. The victim will be shamed into silence.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that single ladies should be suspicious of every relationship they get into, no, but instead they should go into it with their eyes open and with their brain functioning. A relationship shouldn’t be about kisses, smooching and sex alone, it is much more. When sexual escapades are the foundation of any relationship, this is what happens: sex beclouds your reasoning; it makes you close your eyes to red flags. If you are dating a broke ass guy, take a close look at him again. It doesn’t matter if he has been paying some bills, you see these guys are smart and so they come dating with well mapped out plans. Do background check on him, and you will find that he is in debts or in some kind of financial troubles. Always be on the guard. There is a high probability that he is going to tell you that all the mess he is in, is not his fault. Men who don’t take responsibilities for their financial recklessness are most likely diamond hunters. Run as fast as you could. However, I am not saying that dating a broke guy is totally a bad idea, it is not. But if you are in your late 20s. 30s or 40s, I really don’t see the reasons why you should be with a guy who can’t pay his bills. You are no longer a teenager and so you have no time staying with a guy who can’t even afford to feed himself, so how is he going to walk you down the aisle?
Date a guy in your class, stop pulling yourself backward, if you are up there you have no business dating broke guys, leave that to younger girls who have a lot of time. Moreover, a guy who keeps asking you for a loan every time is not worth your time. What do you need a borrow, borrow spouse for? If he can’t be sharing expenses with you, then dump him!
What about that your boyfriend that keeps hounding you for designers? His most exciting period is only when you take him on a shopping spree? Probably he has a high taste for very expensive things and loves eating out only at fanciful restaurants? Girlfriends! Let me pull your ears small, leave these overgrown boys alone. These guys won’t marry, they are only after your money, they will milk you dry, sleep with you and leave you empty.
Interestingly, these guys are smart. At the beginning of the relationship, they buy you expensive gifts. If your gut is telling you otherwise please stop receiving extravagant gifts from them because they will take it back, a thousandfold.
For emphasis sake, a guy who loses his job or who is working part-time isn’t a diamond hunter, no. But if this same guy has no career ambitions or he is just fine with spending your money, that’s a red flag. A guy who dreams big and earns little and has no plans to rise high at his place of work is not the real deal. If he is dreaming big, he should go and improve on his skills; he should write professional exams and do what it takes to be high up there.
Another thing, what these diamond hunters have in common is that they are charming young men. They make sure you are emotionally invested before they strike and start asking you for money. My dear, if you are the only one paying so much in your relationship, please make a U-turn. No matter his sob stories, when your instinct tells you to leave, don’t deny it.
Moreover, there is also another crop of these guys: they keep asking prying questions and they want to know more about your family’s financial background. Some can even let these acts go on for years, they pretend they love you, they keep taking you out on expensive dinner dates and buying you lovely gifts. This is only a ploy to get their hands on your inheritance if you have one. These ones are malignant because they can go as far as marrying you and when they lay your hands on your inheritance they leave you in the lurch.
They always encourage their victims to spend and tell them that this life is worth more than money. They use subtle tactics when asking for money and they use a lot of reverse psychology too if they want something from you. Many of these diamond hunters are rarely driven. They just want to enjoy life and so all those lies about starting a company has no grand plan. They have no ambition of reaching the zenith of their career and they are not interested in changing the world. The only thing they care about aside from getting sex is your money and you don’t need a leech to complete you. A real man is what you need and this guy hanging on your neck every time begging for money isn’t the real deal, so dump him as quickly as you can!