The Sun News

Rule 101: never eat in an ex-girlfriend’s home!

Rick and I could not talk at the Restaurant because soon after I refused to eat the ‘fried brains’ Rick got a call and had to leave. He promised to make it up to me when he dropped me off and drove off with indecent speed in my opinion. It’s Monday and I really need to talk to Jasmine, in fact everything else can wait. It’s not like I am in the mood to do anything meaningful anyway.

I guess you all want to know if Rick showed up, right? Well he did, just when I was being presented with the Award but he was not alone. He was with Sotonye! I was about stepping down from the podium when I turned around and sighted them. There I was basking in the euphoria of the moment, my girls all snapping away like paparazzi and then I look up; Rick strolls in with his Babymama. Did he have the audacity or am I dreaming? Ok, breath Tobs, play it cool I told myself. There must be a logical reason I concluded to myself. What the heck, the effrontery of Rick and his bitchy Babaymama I fumed. He sat at the back so the girls didn’t see him until the ceremony was over. After which they confidently walked to where I sat amongst other Award Recipients. “Congratulations Tobs, I was super excited for you when Rick told me of the Awards and insisted ‘we’ must simply come to lend our support,” she gave me a chilly smile. ‘We?’ I thanked her for coming even though I felt like scratching out her eyes. How dare Rick invade my privacy with ‘the enemy’ I thought. I couldn’t even look at him as I swallowed the bile of jealousy threatening to choke me, as always she looked lovely I thought disparagingly. The girls each had their ‘special’ way of greeting Sotonye; each letting her know in a subtle and not so subtle manner that she wasn’t welcome. I excused myself to go to the ladies only for Rick to follow me. “Yes?” I asked giving him a hostile look. “You can’t bite, kitten so wipe off that look, it doesn’t sit well on your lovely face,” Rick said in amusement. Kitten! (his pet short form name for Catherine, my English name) He dared to call me that after what he had done? Men are truly incorrigible. “Sotonye asked to come to congratulate you in person, why can’t you just accept her gracious gesture? Sometimes I do not understand you ladies,” he murmured actually having the nerve to look baffled. Why are men so gullible? It is obvious to me, the ladies and I am sure a few rational thinking men out there that, if you are in a relationship and another girl is in love with you, you really can’t be friends with her (especially if she is your ex) talk less of her being friends with your wife or girlfriend; oil and water don’t mix! You want to know why? It’s because as long as you keep hanging around her, not only is she likely to undermine your present relationship but she will continue to hope that she can get you back and in some cases even go diabolical. Some men even go as far as visiting their exes and eating in their homes. Rule 101 for ex-girlfriends; never visit or eat in an ex-girlfriend’s home! You are courting trouble. “Rick please go and meet your ‘whatever you call her’ I am tired and for the record please in future never bring Sotonye into my private space,” I said with as much dignity as I could muster. When I got back from the ladies, ‘they’ had left. “Hello earth to Tobs, are you there?” Jasmine asked in amusement from my office doorway. “How long have you been standing there?” I asked smiling sheepishly. “Long enough Babes, anyways is Monday the 30th not Warien Rose Foundation’s Domestic Violence Anonymous (DVA)?” She asked thoughtfully. “Yes, still same venue of Golden Tulip Hotels Festac Town, why do you ask? You already know DVA is every last Monday of the month, same venue. You better not tell me you are not coming.” I said giving her a weary look. “There is this new bloke in my office complex, the guy is a gorgeous hunk and trust me I got a dinner date with him,” she said excitedly. “What happened to Christopher and moving in with him?” I asked perplexed. “That my darling is gist for another day,” she said unperturbed.

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