By Adewale Sanyaolu Despite being a country with the second largest deposit of bitumen in the world, Nigeria, according to Foraminifera, a marketing and research firm, spends about N2 billion yearly on importation of asphalt, a derivative of bitumen. The occurrence of bitumen deposits in Nigeria is twice the amount of existing reserves of crude…
love is a beautiful thing. It is a beautiful sight to behold when you see two people in love who are making efforts to keep the flame of love burning in their relationships. Loving someone doesn’t mean you should remain in an unhealthy relationship. It is not every type of love that leads to happily ever after.
Love should make partners the best version of themselves. Love should include more highs than lows. Love shouldn’t become an opportunity for one partner to keep abusing the other. It shouldn’t bring out one’s worst qualities nor feed on your insecurities.
Unfortunately, many women are in toxic relationships. These toxic relationships can be hard to spot, as they often come in pretty packages that seem wonderful on the outside, but are full of issues and hurt on the inside. Take a look at these top 10 relationships to avoid and do the needful.
A relationship full of drama
Some people thrive on constant drama. They covet it like oxygen and can’t seem to get enough of relationship dramas. There are people who are not happy unless their relationship is full of drama and it is best to steer clear of such people who aren’t happy unless there’s some sort of high-drama situation happening.
A relationship fueled by passion alone
While passion is a necessary ingredient in relationships, too much of it can quickly lead to a toxic, unhealthy relationship. Passion can lead to uncontrollable jealousy and fights. Couples know that some jealousy and arguing are natural, but overly passionate relationships experience these qualities to the point that they begin to take over any good times in relationships.
A controlling relationship
It’s natural to care about someone and want what’s best for them, but it’s quite another thing to attempt to control their every move. It is dangerous to be in relationships that revolve around one person’s control over the other. If you don’t feel free to be yourself, make your own choices, and decide things for yourself, you may be in an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Staying in such relationship can hinder your personal growth and make you think you are happy when you are not.
A relationship built on lies
When a relationship is built on lies, it is impossible for trust to be present. People whose relationships are built on lies can’t be healthy, functional couples. No matter how small, lying in relationships is a slippery slope. It may seem harmless, but it harms the relationship built around them. A relationship built on lies is dead on arrival.
A relationship with a bully
If you are in a relationship where your partner has significantly more power and control over you, there’s a good chance you are in an abusive relationship. Bullies function by maintaining enough power that their partner is afraid to challenge them, physically, mentally and emotionally. This relationship runs on fear, which is the opposite of love. If you find yourself in this exhausting, hurtful relationship, exit immediately.
A relationship with a critic
It’s natural to turn to your partner for advice, and to seek their approval, as any solid relationship should feature more mutual support than harsh criticism. If your partner shreds every little detail of your life, from how you do your job to how you dress to how you relate with your friends and criticizes you constantly, they don’t love you. He or she shouldn’t become a source of stress.
A punitive relationship
Punitive relationships occur when one person punishes their partner’s when their behaviour falls short of their own personal expectations. The major issue with punitive types is that their instinct is to punish, without adequate communication, feedback, and understanding. Being in such a relationship is not only disrespectful but it creates conflict because it’s only a matter of time before the partner who’s belittled starts harbouring negative emotions toward the other.
A relationship with an enabler
A relationship that hinges on one person enabling the other is toxic regardless of who is doing it. When you put your life on hold for your partner or put their needs before your own always, you are enabling them. When all your life revolves around your partner and you see them as helpless, these are signs you are in a toxic relationship. You need to get out fast.
An all consuming relationship
When all you keep thinking about all the time is your partner, that’s a red flag. It’s acceptable to have your partner significant on your mind but when it starts crossing over the line to obsession, you should bail immediately.
A conveniently comfortable relationship
A convenient relationship is familiar, comfortable. It makes you feel safe but not complete. Comfort doesn’t equal happiness. These convenient relationships just hold you back from finding true happiness and love.