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    Categories: ColumnsEffect

Relationship secrets women want men to know

Effects spoke to some women about relationship secrets they wished men knew and the responses are interesting as they are surprising.

Kate Halim

Most times, women are frustrated because men seem clueless about what to do in relationships. Men on the other hand also think that women are complex beings and are confused about how to love and please them.

In the light of this age-long, unending confusion, Effects spoke to some women about relationship secrets they wished men knew and the responses are interesting as they are surprising.

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Tessy: A caring guy is a hot guy

I don’t know why some men forget that women appreciate a guy with a sensitive side, especially when they are upset. If you don’t know how to pacify your woman when she’s angry lovingly, why are you in her life to begin with? A caring guy is a hot guy. Men should know this. Put your arms around her when she’s upset and hand her a tissue. That action will earn you points. Nurturing is a powerful way to connect with a woman.

Sonia: Chivalry still has its place

When it comes to romance, many women do like men to take the traditional masculine role. This is especially true in the wooing stage of a relationship. While a woman is perfectly capable of pulling out her own chair or opening a door, she might just be waiting for you to take the initiative and be a gentleman. Chivalry still has its place in the dating scene.

Esther: Dress to impress

Styles come and go, but a man’s attention to his grooming and clothing should be long lasting. It’s important to women from the first flirtation through the honeymoon and beyond. As a guy, you have to figure out if there’s a certain look that she likes. If she likes a guy in fitted jeans, you wear fitted jeans. If she drools whenever you wear T-shirt, you keep doing that to impress her. You need to dress to impress your woman if you want to make lasting impact on her mind.

Helen: You don’t have to hide your flaws

Nothing captures a woman’s heart quite like a good man who wants to be a better man. Women love personal growth, they love a man who is thoughtful and sensitive. They love a man who doesn’t hide his flaws or tries to pretend he is perfect. They like it when their men show their flaws and make efforts to address them.

Rebecca: Don’t try to fix her world

If you want your relationship to last with your woman, don’t try to fix her world. When something’s bothering her, she wants your ear, not your advice. Men feel the need to fix things because they are solution-oriented, but to a woman, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that deepens the relationship. Guys need to pay more attention to listening than trying to fix things.

Listening is important to your woman but she also wants to know that she is being heard. Nodding along won’t cut it. When she pauses, she’s giving you a cue to respond in a compassionate, caring way. If she tells you that she is upset because her boss gave her a tough time, she wants to hear you say, “I’m sorry that work was bad for you today. Remember to resist the urge to offer solutions.

Grace: Sex will happen whenever she wants it

The three dates before sex rule is an urban legend. Women don’t set a timeline on when they will invite a potential partner into the bedroom. Some women will want to have many dates before sex; others might have sex on the first date. Sex will happen whenever she wants it and feels comfortable with you. But it is advisable for women to give the relationship at least two months to grow before throwing sex into the mix.

Bolanle: Women like it slow when it comes to sex

Guys often want to take the quickest path to sex. But many women prefer the scenic and slow route. Women want sex but they get to it in a different way. They want to feel connected and understood, they want to be romanced. That means time and talking and touching in other words, foreplay.

Nwakaego: Safe sex is a turn-on for some women

Safe sex is a turn-on for some women. While others prefer skin to skin, these women are particularly careful about sexually transmitted diseases and take extra precaution about their health. Practicing safe sex is something a couple needs to focus on because some women appreciate it and feel more protected when the guy makes it clear that it’s a concern to him and then shows her that he practices what he preaches.

READ ALSO: What if she hands you condom before sex?

Oluremi: Learn what she wants in bed

Women do like to talk to about what’s going on during sex, and they want to please their man and a tactful approach is often best. As a guy, ask her what she likes during sex. Be sure to ask for what you want in a positive and validating way. It should sound like this: “I would really love if you tell me what you want me to do.” Then flow with her and create unforgettable pleasurable moments.

Monica: Mirroring is a barometer of love

Remember the saying “imitation is the highest form of flattery”? A woman often conveys how she feels about you by mirroring your moods and moves. She may order a meal that pairs with yours, wear your favorite color, or smile or cross her arms when you do. Mimicking is her way of putting you at ease and letting you know she is charmed. Take note of these little gestures if you want her for keeps.

Christine: Tell her she looks good again and again

Women like to be told they look nice, and they like a man who notices that without being told. When she’s wearing a sexy new dress, for example, she will give you major points for saying how hot she looks, especially if you mention the dress before she does. If she’s looking particularly attractive, if she has a new haircut, if she’s looking more fit- let her hear about it again and again. When you continue to tell her how good she looks, she will loosen up around you.

Sophia: Guys, don’t be afraid of the relationship talk

When your woman wants to talk about your relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean you did something wrong. Many women like to talk about the state of the relationship at different stages as well as what’s going right, what’s going wrong, or simply what’s going on. This is a good thing. An honest, wide-ranging talk can bring the two of you closer. Men shouldn’t be afraid of the relationship talk. It’s not that hard.

Ifeyinwa: Don’t miss the moment

How do you know if she is ready to commit? She will say so. This is something that women are often quite up front about. But they don’t want to have the talk too often. If she’s ready and she has given you time, the next time the subject comes up, be prepared to step up or step off. Just try not to miss the moment when she tells you what she really wants from your relationship.

Sylvia: Romance is simple, keep it coming

Romance is something she will always want, whether you have been together two months or 2 years. Gifts, flowers, intimate dinner, and a few lines of love poetry sound very romantic. Guys have to know that most women appreciate such simple romantic gestures and often show their appreciation after the lights go down. So guys need to keep romance coming because it’s simple.

READ ALSO: How we keep romance alive

 

Tokunbo David :Sun News Online team writer and news editor

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