In this part of the world, women are blackmailed, cajoled and hounded with unsolicited advice on how to make their relationships work. Nobody is talking to men like that. No one is telling men how to keep their women.
Women are taught at home and in churches how to keep men by their sides. They are threatened by being replaced by other women if they don’t sit up. That’s why many women are dying gradually in relationships with controlling, possessive and abusive men.
From childhood, a woman is advised over and over to accommodate all her man’s excesses because it is her duty to build her relationship. These women carry these wrong teachings and one-sided advice into marriage and start crying later.
It takes two people to build a relationship. A woman is not a magician who can perform relationship magic if her man is not willing to match her efforts. Women are not special beings who can take crap from men all the time just so peace can reign in their relationships.
All over the internet, I see different articles on rules women must follow to make their relationships successful, so I decided to write my own relationship rules for men so that this equation can balance for once. Men need to invest more in their relationships too. These women are not dating or married to themselves. So, men, here we go!
Don’t lead a woman on by showering her with sweet attention and when she gets emotionally attached to you, you claim you are just being nice. Brother, state your intentions from the start. Stop sending her wrong signals. That’s not nice. Don’t be a relationship predator.
Men, stop double-dating. Stop jumping in and out of different vaginas under the guise of looking for a life partner. You are not a he goat. Sticking to one woman doesn’t make you weak or old school, it means you are sensible to preserve your semen from being all over the place. Respect yourselves.
You must be neat man. Observing proper hygiene is not for women only. Don’t smell like oke mkpi and claim ladies are running away from you. Brush your teeth twice a day. Take your bath twice a day or more. Use roll-on and body spray. Buy perfumes and use them. Don’t be looking for a wife material when you are dirty.
Stop threatening a lady that you will end the relationship if she doesn’t agree to sleep with you. It shows that you just want her for sex and not for companionship. Sex should happen based on a mutual agreement and not forced.
Dear man, you can be replaced too. There are many men outside waiting to take your place, so respect yourself. Shove your threats where the sun doesn’t shine. Your inability to control your sexual drive is an indication of a more deeply rooted issue, stop using that to threaten ladies you are dating. That’s not cool.
Stop throwing your socks, shirts and shoes all over the place. Organisation and orderliness are not necessarily a gender trait, anyone can learn it. Be neat and orderly. Your woman is not your maid. You should keep your things well. You are an adult not a baby. So, act accordingly.
Stop screaming ‘I am the head of this family’ anytime you want to have your way or force your wife to do something she doesn’t want to do. You are a husband not a tyrant. Your wife has her own head sitting firmly on her shoulders, so respect her opinions and calmly explain why she has do what you want her to do. Stop barking orders at her, you are not a dog.
You should know that raising your children is actually your duty as the man. So don’t push it all on your wife, and claim its women stuff. Be present in the lives of your children. Bathe your children. Take them to school. Your wife must not drop dead taking care of your children.
Take care of your children while your wife goes clubbing with the girls. Cook for them, wash their clothes and make sure you help them do their homework too. You are building something special with your children and as they grow, they won’t forget you.
Learn to balance your work and home well. If you keep running after money all the time while neglecting your wife and children, one day you will wake up and discover they have left you. Your wife can also be tempted by other men and trust me, you won’t suspect she’s cheating too because you are too busy.
As a married man, stop demanding for sex every time as if your life depends on it. There is more to your wife than her breasts, vagina and buttocks especially if she does the entire house work with no help from you. Do you want to kill her? If you want more sex, help out more at home.
Most importantly, improve your ability to give your wife pleasure during sex. Don’t jump in and out of your wife as if a mad man is chasing you. The fact that your past girl friends while you were single respond like they enjoy sex with you doesn’t mean you are good.
They might be playing their roles well as good actresses who put up with your two minute show so as to get your money. The best evaluator of your sexual prowess is your wife. She knows what she wants from you, she knows her body and she knows you.
Listen to your woman and improve your pleasure giving skills. Don’t start whining about how your past girlfriends loved your short circuit and short grindings. It will reduce the number of times she says no to your advances. Which woman doesn’t like orgasms? You guys should do your work well.
Don’t expect your wife to lack opinions, imagination and thoughts. She must not always obey you; your marriage is not a military barracks and you might be wrong too. Being a husband doesn’t mean you are always right. Marriage is partnership between two people not one barking orders at the other person.
Your football club is important but you won’t have sex with Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester United at night. Set your priorities right, your wife and her needs should be more important than your football club. Don’t claim she’s a woman and can’t do anything. You will be surprised at the many things she can do behind your back.
A good man is courteous and respectful to his woman. Don’t raise your voice at her when arguing. Don’t threaten to slap or beat her up for stating her opinions. Don’t take a woman out for dinner and start looking for sex afterwards. Work on the relationship first, the sex will come later. Are you a dog on heat?
Tell your woman you love her as often as possible. If you don’t do this, other men will do it for you. Learn to say sweet things to her and mean it. Doing these things doesn’t make you less of a man; you are simply securing your place firmly in your woman’s heart. No woman leaves a man who loves and treats her right. It’s impossible.
Don’t be a stingy man. If you have money, lavish it on your woman. Love always gives. Buy her gifts. Surprise her once in a while. Take her out to her favourite spots. Buy her a new car. Buy her clothes, shoes and perfumes. Stop being an assistant boyfriend or husband to your woman.
Apologize when you are wrong. Stop forming, ‘I am a man and men don’t say sorry’. I pity you. You are hardening that woman. When she becomes hard and deals with you, you won’t even have the voice to claim your manhood anymore. Say sorry when you are wrong, it will elongate your life.
READ ALSO: ‘Women who want more sex’
Don’t abuse your woman. I see abusive men as weaklings who can only show their power on women. Don’t abuse your woman physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually and still expect her to be happy. If she treats you like that, will you be happy? Your woman is not your punching bag, go and fight your fellow men if you have too much energy.
I am not joking, men who adhere to the rules above will not only enjoy sweet, beautiful relationships; they will also live long. Stick to these rules so that you won’t lose your woman to a better man. Women have options too. Think about it
RE: IF YOU MUST DATE YOUR FRIEND’S EX, DO THESE THINGS
KATE, your write-up is superb and educative. You are blessed. Please we need to assist you in replying some of these wicked, heartless and good for nothing people whose senses of reasoning has been blocked and eroded insulting you always. Majority are with you and praying for you as well.
- O.J Segun, Lagos
If you know how many relationships you have destroyed with these satanic write-ups of yours, you will stop writing to deceive gullible women. I know you are not married and that’s why you want to make many women single and angry like you. Stop deceiving other people’s wives with your column. You are causing more harm than good.
- Chinedu, Onitsha
It is not a crime for someone to date your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend because there is no law that prohibits that. It is a matter of choice.
- Gordon Nnorom
I congratulate both you and your critics. You are being made more golden a writer. This time around, you kept your readers in suspense up to the last two paragraphs. I agree with you that ladies should not be too desperate to marry before this year ends. Let us hope they understand your grammar. In addition, females should stay true to their female friends without betrayal as many men do throughout their lifetime. Kate, we are expecting more of your wise counsels. You are unbeatable!
- Tony, Umuahia
Kate, all animals are naturally jealous about love relationships. The best of friends, relations or siblings can fight and even kill each other over it. The natural fear and suspicion which cannot easily be wished away is that ‘exes’ especially if known to be deeply connected may continue with secretive intimacy irrespective of your advice that friends should put everything on the table, redefine relationships, boundaries and take vows of non-violation.
- Chioma Papa
Are you trying to tell us how you snatch your friend’s boyfriends with last week’s article? I don’t know why people still read the rubbish you write every week. You are on a mission to destroy homes and families but God will punish you first. Evil woman, go and marry first.
- Obinna, Aba