We trained our children not to fear anybody. That was why Chidy, my son, spoke boldly to a great personality, who did not only refuse to sign his International Passport Form but told him that it was an insult for him to have sent someone for it. Directed by his daughter living with me, my son went to his house on a Sunday evening and knocked severally at the door and nobody opened for him before he left. When the man’s daughter heard it, she apologized and agreed with my son for someone to be sent to her dad on Monday morning since my son would be going to work.

Chidy reminded the man, how he was told that his daughter was stranded in NYSC Orientation Camp in Lagos and he sent her to us, a lady he scarcely knew, not even her surname. The man was humbled, remembering that he never called my wife nor me for the nine months we hosted his daughter. It was also the same boldness that made KC, my son, as reported in the newspapers, to save his life and that of other passengers in the flight with him. He suspected the movements of a man he saw close to their aircraft and alerted other passengers sitting closely. They looked and affirmed his observation but when their interest waned, he reported to the aircraft’s authorities, though the plane was already taxing for flight. It stopped and arrests were made. Boldness! 

A Godly family must model Christ. KC said that children do not do what parents tell them but what they see them do. They even excel their parents as I detailed last week, how David had 8 wives and some concubines and Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Do you know that your children notice what you say and do when going home after the Church service or being driven to or from school? Since children will excel their parents, they will excel you on these things you do – the good, the bad and the ugly. They observe how you respond to people who offend you. Since children will excel their parents, they will excel you in the way you react when offended. They observe when you and their mum fight, sebi, sometimes, they are the umpire. Since children will excel their parents, they will also excel you in fighting with their spouses when they grow up.

They observe how you behave when your pocket is lined with money and also when it is dry. Since children will excel more than their parents, that is how they will excel you in boom and when things are not rosy. They observe how you react towards the message delivered by the Minister in the Church and also towards the announcements made. Since children will excel their parents, they will also excel you in your reaction towards the messages delivered and the announcements made. They notice your attitude towards the Church programme, the wonderful excuses you give for not attending. Since children will excel their parents, they will also excel you in avoiding Church programmes and in advancing spurious reasons for their absence.

Love and cane were used freely in our family, when our children were growing up. Our family used to be a home for the youths. At a time, out of 37 states in Nigeria, people from six states – Edo, Ebonyi, Anambra, Enugu, Imo and Abia, were living with us. At a time, an Hausa lady lived with us. Some of the youths tasted the two weapons of love and cane. One of them, Stella, a Lagosian, reminded me last year, now a mum, how I was caning her and the children. Children, however know when you are caning them for correction and when it is out of hatred. Note that children are only children today but not tomorrow. Before caning a child, it may be better to allow him to judge his case and choose the appropriate punishment. May anger not go with it!

Dad and Mum must always be on the same page. Isaac and Rebecca were not. If children have done wrong, it must be wrong to the two of you. While mothers play their role of palliation, especially, where the husband is a tiger, the wife must assure the children that they did the wrong thing. This caused a big problem for a Nigerian family living in the US. Their mother groomed them to hate their dad. I did my best to bring sanity to bear in that family with little or no success. I sent their uncle, who brought the couple to the US, to them but the children refused to attend the meeting he scheduled in their home. Nothing seemed to work because those children are now adults. When there was a problem in their home one of the girls moved-in with her white boyfriend. Imagine!

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Above love and cane is God’s word. We used it and are still using it. Our morning devotion is at 5a.m and night devotion at 9.30 pm. It was and still is compulsory for every person living or visiting us. As the children were maturing in age, we stopped corporate evening devotion, allowing individuals to observe it on their own but my wife and I still have it together. We used to have family fasting and prayers. KC and Amy, our third and fourth children, started fasting, morning to 6pm, at the age of 5. Children may not like it because their mates may not be doing so but do not give up. You are investing for tomorrow. We have also gone for family retreat at the Redemption Camp. We are planning to have another one with the children, sons-in-law, daughters-in-law and grandchildren early next year.

We appreciate God greatly for our family. We have never heard nor met our children fighting, even as infants. When beating Chy, Chidy would force us to stop by crying. If we gave him something, he would not take until Chy was given. Today, the three children in Lagos hold monthly vigils with their spouses without inviting us. If we visit Amy, it is likely that Willy, my son-in-law, and family are there or had just left. This is true of other children.

Some months ago, KC ministered in Liberty House, Lekki. Impressive reports were brought to me by those, who listened to him. And so also did report come to me, when he ministered in Full Gospel chapter, holding in Sheraton Hotel, Ikeja. He was invited in Maryland, US, to minister in 2015. His Mum, grandma, uncles, aunties, etc, were present. He arrived Nigeria and left for Calabar the next day to minister. Last year, I wept when I was listening to his great message, ‘Leadership outside the Box’, during the CPM International Conference for the Youths in their Headquarters. Wealth and academics cannot be compared with raising Godly children!

It is possible to do your utmost in raising Godly children and yet, the result is negative. Ask Rev. Samuel – 1Sam 8:1-3. May you never give up. Keep on praying and trusting God.

For further comment, Please contact: Osondu Anyalechi:   0802 3002-471; [email protected]