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Nollywood may soon go out of business

If all what we hear is true, then retired Liz Benson, the screen goddess is about to make a comeback. But what a pity, she is bothered enough she wants to return to a winding up party? It will soon be all over for our dear Nollywood. This is really the hour for the queen of the screen to continue her rest; after all she is done quite her bit. But what could be driving Nollywood to her end, one may ask.

Truth is that Nollywood is soon to go out of business. Look, it is no longer fashionable to get glued to your TV sets watching pretty girls show off their curves. Or even fine boys, who never had pimples, stump about in borrowed suits. The best video in town is happening live, and is free; no rentals or whatever. So why give up the real for the faked, especially when it trails way behind? If you are a business man for instance, would you bank on selling war films in Syria? Syria where they have the real thing going on?

Just as in Syria, the reality in Nigeria is a greater, bloodier and more suspenseful box office hit, than anything contrivable by scriptwriters in Nollywood or just anywhere else. Just take the samples. What in the Nigerian home video imagination could come close to Boko haram? Real blood running, sorry, flooding the streets; and real buildings, churches, cars blown up; and those are no film effects.

If you watched Boko Haram would you ever bother with tame and domesticated Nollywood? And as if we have not seen enough, the real floods are coming in to carry away whole households, into the cold hands of death. And if you thought that was tragic enough, the floods would every now and then, ferry in the odd crocodile, the hippo or the python, to take over the residences of the sacked.

And if any householder survived the floods, and returned to repossess his property, these beasts will be very eager and welcoming hosts. And your new home will now, be in the belly of the beasts. Can Nollywood compete in imagination with this, real life hippos and crocs at play? Well if you are into the new media it gets even more magical. There is Cynthia Okorogwu, her e-media friends and murder thrown in. It is so stranger no imagination would have foreseen it, not even in Hollywood.

So why bother with a Liz Benson clip, a poor version of the real thing? And if corporate reality show is the thing that moves your spirit, what is there on offer by Nollywood to compete with the Coscharis-Uba saga, gone sour. According to Coscharis one Mr. Uba, 41, who flies two private jets or more, is his kid brother. And more, he Coscharis opened the vaults of the banks to the said kid brother and colluded with him to share in the profits, accruing from the dedicated transactions over a six business-chain sessions.

Of course the rites of opening the vaults, collateral free or even playing obligor, when you sit as the chairman of the credit committee of the said bank, is if not out-rightly against the law, then a very improper conduct. You are really playing the numbers racket with depositors fund in collusion with a kid brother, so called. Every man should be credit worthy enough to borrow on his own weight and not upon the weight or guarantees of a gate keeper. Gate keeping is all the credit committee of a bank is about.

And to entertain us Coscharis is going about the TV houses telling tales with colors of himself as the innocent party? Boy only in Nigeria. Not even the home video clips can imagine a bank director fixing millions of dollars for a kid billionaire brother to trade with, and share in collusive profits. Meanwhile we are supposed to be running a sanitized banking supervision and system. Only in Nigeria. And just as we were closing on the Coscharis clip, Dangote came in. PhD holders of Nigerian extraction are queuing up at Dangote to take up their destinies in their hands, as employee truck drivers.

If these PhD holders were Germans or Jews, I wish to wager, they would have invented a new way of transportation and be richer for it. But invention is un-Nigerian. And here in Nigeria, to sweat is the only evidence of work done. To work hard for us is to sweat the skin and her pores. But the brains which do the profoundest works, ask the Jews, never drop a sweat. And the Nigerian brain is therefore not thought of, as a work tool, no matter how highly trained.

And the poor PhD holder therefore crosses the streets, to pick up a key and drive off sweating his skins up under the African sun. Can the home video imagination soar to this height? But the great danger is that if reality trumps Nollywood, spins her into recession, then there will be so much unemployment in Nigeria.

The home video we are told is the highest employer of labor after government. What to do? What happens to the Bensons, Genevieves and Amatas of the industry? Well I think the RMD move is indicated. Give up morality and join the PDP or the nearest party in town. The accountants call it planned obsolescence. I think that is the way out for Nollywood stars and industry, before recession closes in on them.

Re: Atiku betrays them all… Okonjo-Iweala too 

Mazi Jimanze, Greetings. You  see, the Great work is not in the chemical art of creating gold; it is that of directing fire, as a gardener directs water to nourish his plant. You did nourish our intellects with your piece, and at the same time, subtly disarmed a group of educated folks with sore eyes. You made my day. I join you in shouting from the mountain top, “Ahiazuwa”. Ausitn C. Ohanwe

Dear Sir, Biko Jimanze leave Aunty Ngoo alone. She is the only Iroko Igbo woman standing. After all the CBN Governor put his hands in our purse, and spent millions in Kano and nothing happened to him till date. So allow Ngoo to use her office as she wishes. Nigeria is already a sold out state. Ozo. Ilorin. 08033748726

Dear Sir, Atiku, a victor-neurotic? What exactly did he win? Boko haram? And lest we forget, OBJ sourced for N40billion library fund while in office, so that we can move the nation forward. Our CBN Governor Mallam Lamido has been donating millions of naira here and there, again to move the nation forward. Our dear Ngozi doesn’t want to be left out, or is the nation not moving forward? 08033188868

Dear Sir, your article demeaning Dr. Mrs. Okonjo-Iweala in the Daily Sun of 8-11-12, portrayed you as a dullard with narrow prism of judgment. May god help you. 08038517960

Dear Sir, whatever harm the Ogbonis did the Ofos, the Ofos did 1000% worse to the Mba Miris, the river people during the three year war. Biafra is not Igbo word, mind you. Sir I hate reading many of these nonsense from the Ofos who never claim any fault to the cause of the war. After all it was a civil war? Was it not two countries at war? You as an Ofo soldier, didn’t you know that late Ojukwu ordered Hannibal Achuzia to sink Port Harcourt? I stop here. The Ofos are too loud for comfort. They are the best of God’s creations. Others are used carpenters’ sandpaper. Hmmm. 08176981178

Dear Jimanze, your thrust in Atiku betrays them all, betrays your loyalty to Biafran state; using a pitching device of Igbo against other tribes; even at a time when an Igbo woman married to an Igbo man from another Igbo state is being deprived of being sworn in as court of Appeal Judge by the CJN; a sign of possibilities in future “Biafra”. And if the sin of Ofo should not be bequeathed to Oru, why bequeath your spurious sin of Atiku to Buhari, IBB, El Ruffai and other unnamed Northern leaders on Ekwueme’s offer of six geo-political structure? Lai Ashadele, Lagos 07067677806

Dear Sir, on the fact that we are not brothers but neighbours, I say thanks for liberating me psychologically from the long nurtured Nigerian conundrum/incubus. I have been wondering what kind of brotherhood is this? Thanks Sage. Okey Ezechukwu 08035617260

Dear Jimanze, some elements like Fani Kayode are not worthy of mention in our hallowed 2TG. He is too petty in thinking and shallow in logic. Pity; Fani Kayode Pity. Uzorechi Eze. 08033057004

Dear Sir, May your sound judgment never go un-noticed, you are truly an Igbo breed. Keep the good work going. Innocent Nwobodo. Lagos 08038245695

Dear Sir, Atiku remains the worst political element Nigeria has produced. We know he is an enemy to Nigeria. Mr. Akpor Williams. 08037412117.

Dear Sir, when you think deep about comments and actions of some self acclaimed personalities from the North and South-West part of Nigeria regarding men from the Eastern Nigeria you will understand that they are suffering from something greater than Victor-neurosis. 08163709070.

Dear Sir, I just finished reading your article, Atiku betrays them all, and just wish to thank you. 08068637939

Dear Sir, when I see people dissipating energy over a case nature is handling in its own unique style, I feel sorry for them. As a little boy in primary school I was taught why Nigeria and Biafra went to war. But 30 years after, I have sought to find out why Nigeria has always been at war with herself, sending thousands of her citizens to their early grave year in year out, without success. It is obvious that nature is punishing her for her atrocities against a certain group in the past. Ifeanyi O. Ifeanyichukwu Abuja. 07030981551

Dear Sir, I have said it before and will say it again, you are a literary Titan, and you have said it all, Nigeria in entirety is suffering from Victor-neurosis and it shows. Thanks. Ozoagbo K. 08035522527

Dear Sir, I just started reading your column in Daily Sun and must say that I appreciate everyone I have read so far. I am happy to see your honesty on issues. Dede, Keep it up. 07067718992

Dear Jimanze, you have done it again. Your Ogboni –Ofo instrument of analysis appears to explain the upsurge of Yoruba antagonism against Achebe’s latest book. Please put me through who are the Oru and Igbo? What is the difference between the two? Where are the Oru? Thanks Ibecheozo. Owerri 08033357399.

Dear Sir, your piece today is good. Your district ion of Oru and Igbo is incorrect. Oru refers to riverine Igbo of Ogbaru and others, while those of us at non-riverine areas are called enualas Igbo, while those in thick forest are called Umuofia/Umuohia. Igbo is central to all these groups. Oru na Igbo refer to the same people. Ahiazuwa. Robert Obiola. 08034745922.

Dear Sir, Please what is Oru? Is Oru a clan? Please clarify. 08035866737

Dear Jimanze, the God of Oru na Igbo will continue to water the fountain of your word-power. You are simply a Rabonic. With you our line of defense is well fortified. The day our in-law Atiku gaffed, my mind flashed back to Gowon and the dilemma he faced trying to unravel the true meaning of Aburi Accord. 07062647375.

Dear Uncle Jim, good morning Sir. I just finished your comment about Aunty Ngozi. At first I laughed, but honesty I thought I was the only one who observed this act. Honestly e be like say na de air in Naija, the water and even the rain is polluted with anything go syndrome. Why? I am confused Uncle Jim. (Your small brother, comedian Akin Akindele) 08165994228

Dear, I read your reaction to Jimanze’s write-up. It was typical, leaving the substance to attack the source. Don’t you know that a lot of lie peddled over the years are now being de-constructed. Unfortunately, more truths buried since after the Biafran war are going to be embarrassingly unearthed. Peevishness, abuse or curses won’t stop it; as such truth is necessary in the envisioned one united sovereign nation. Thanks. 0893912933. (I think a reader texted a respondent and copied me. We get these copy texts always. We think this is worthy of publication. 2TG)

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1 Comment

  1. Sweetbora November 15, 2012 at 7:46 pm


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