By CHRISTY ANYANWU
Ugochukwu George Igbokwe just hates the craze for titles. Despite being the boss of Make Me, an upscale salon in Surulere, Lagos, Igbokwe prefers to tell people that he works with Make Me. And for his profile, he simply states this way: “I am a husband and father of two most beautiful chics in the world.”
Make Me is an ultramodern beauty complex set up Ugochukwu and his Yoruba wife Bukky. There’s has been a seamless blend of beautiful marital relationship that is also minting money in their joint business, which was established after they both lost their jobs in another salon where they first met as mere friends with no romantic attachment. In the heat of the Valentine’s Day celebration, Ugochukwu broke off briefly from work to tell his Bukky’s story.
Excerpts…
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Unlike most people who are craze about titles, I hate titles and designations like Chief, CEO and all that. All I know is that I work for Make Me. I’m a husband and father of two most beautiful chics in the world.
A few days ago, the talk everywhere was about Valentine’s Day. Can you recall any memorable Valentine’s Day you spent with your wife?
(Paused, thought for a moment) My wife and I are both workaholics. And you know that the Val Day that just passed fell on a Thursday. I will be frank with you, everything that revolves around my wife and I is work, work, work because we have targets and things we want to achieve. We are pretty much close and working hard to push through and reach our target. However, there was one particular Valentine’s Day that fell on a weekend. My wife and I moved into Federal Palace hotel after work. It was real fun.
So what did you do about the kids?
I had my mum and my sister in the house. My wife’s sister was also around that year.
As working parents, how do cope with your children?
When my wife gets home, the first thing we do is to get the children ready for bed. Then she starts preparing food because she knows that I won’t stay long before coming home and want to eat as soon as I step in. But I can ‘grab’ anything and eat and that is fine. Besides we try to save as much time as possible to have rest rather than spending so much time cooking food. Usually, she tries to get out of the kitchen by 9 o’clock. When I get home I try to relax and also get some sleep because first thing in the morning we are out.
How did you meet your wife?
We met in our first workplace. I was already working as a barber in a salon where she was employed as the professional stylist. Her second day on the job was a pretty less busy day. Myself and some other workers were all sitting downstairs, chatting and ‘yabbing’ each other. At a point I think she got bored sitting upstairs alone and decided to come downstairs. As soon as she walked past everyone, my colleagues started ‘yabbing’ her too, saying that she was snobbish and didn’t talk to anyone. You know that kind of talk. I quickly hushed them and said, ‘Hey shut up, mind how you talk to her, she is my wife.’ She heard it, turned and looked at me. That was just all.
How come you made that statement?
I don’t know. I just don’t know. I just said it. Maybe I saw a pretty chic that was very quiet. I though, perhaps, it was because she was new in the place and didn’t know anybody. Anyway I just said it as a joke.
Okay how did you get her eventually?
At first, we became friends for a long time and remained so until we both lost our job at that place. Then we decided to set a business together, though we were married as at that time.
Did you know all along that she was going to be your wife?
Not all, marriage just happened along the way. Just before we lost our jobs, one of my aunts had called me and said, ‘we heard you are having something with Bukky.’ And I said, nothing oo! My aunt was not convinced that there was nothing between Bukky and I. She said there had better be something.
I was calm. But it was not just my aunts alone; two other people I have so much respect for also called me to ask about my relationship with Bukky. In addition, one of her aunts also raised the issue. Even our customers made the same observation about us. That was when I laid back and thought about it. I asked myself: what are these people seeing that I am not seeing in Bukky?
Did you have a girlfriend at the time?
Yes. Bukky and I were just friends.
How did she feel about your girlfriend?
It didn’t bother her. She didn’t pry into my personal affairs. Most of the time we only talked about our work, the business and how to make it better.
Then how did you propose to her?
That is the amazing thing. When we started working together, we began planning things together and making projections, setting targets together. We knew what we were going to do in four, six or 12 months. There was no special moment when I said to her, “will you marry me?” The reason was that we were doing everything together. As part of our projection we put in when the wedding would be and also discussed when would start having kids after marriage. We agreed not have kids until two years after marriage. We just worked together.
Then what happened to your girlfriend?
At a point I began to reflect because I never saw her as more than a mere friend and business partner. I suddenly realized that I liked her so much that I didn’t want anything that could jeopardize our friendship. But marriage I wasn’t sure about. I thought if I got pretty much closer in my advances, I might hurt her; so I decided to stay away and just leave it at the level of friendship. But at a point I started thinking, what I am doing? I have never seen anybody that has good character in terms of her mind, her being and personality. It was then that I started considering her as a prospective life partner.
She’s Yoruba and you are Ibo. Do you speak Yoruba?
No.
So how do you cope at first?
If anybody had told me I would marry a Yoruba lady, I would probably take it very personal. I probably would fall out with you, that you were trying to curse me. As somebody from the East, I didn’t know so much about Yoruba people. What I knew was what I saw on television.
I’m from Umuahia in Abia State and I grew up in Aba. It’s almost impossible for me to imagine marrying a Yoruba woman. You get to meet people and then you understand that what you see on television or things you hear about places and people are not what they seem to be. You really need to see and experience things yourself to know better. I began to see that personality has nothing to do with tribe – it’s just the two individuals; how you understand and how you feel for each other, and whether you are willing to tolerate each other and sustain the relationship.
How did your family react to your decision to marry a Yoruba lady?
At first I thought it was going to be an issue and I was pretty much prepared. From the moment I decided I was going to marry her, I didn’t care whether anybody would escort me or not. Yet I still had to inform my people. As a matter of fact, I made up mind to go ahead without even telling anybody. I just felt that nobody had said no to the relationship all this while.
It was just my mum that said what? A Yoruba lady? I couldn’t hold back replying my mum, what do you mean Yoruba? Because of my mind set, I was ready for anybody. I asked her, do you know anyone? Have you lived with any Yoruba person before? Or have you lived in Yoruba land before? What do you know about the Yoruba? She fired back: don’t you watch TV? Watch what, I replied her? Then I said: You don’t sit here and scream, Yoruba. You don’t even know the person we are talking about; you have not seen her before.
I had expected you to say to me, okay, go and bring her. Then I will leave her with you, so that when you are done, I will come back and pick her. I told her, for all I know she is better than you. My mum was shocked and looked at me, asking, what did you say? I said yes, she is better than you in everything. If you bet me, I will bring her and leave her with you. You don’t have right to judge her just because she is Yoruba. My mother didn’t take it lightly and I walked away. That was the last time any other person said anything contrary to what I was planning towards my marriage. Today, my mother is happy that I married her.
What did you find most attractive about her?
She has a good heart and a beautiful personality. I was convinced 100% that I had found a helpmate in her. I had a strong belief that whatever I wanted to achieve, it would be much easier to achieve with her involvement.
When does your typical day start?
We leave home at 7 am because we have drop off our children at school. Then we head to the office.
What has it been like working with your wife?
It has been a great experience, and it has helped me a lot. First, it has helped me keep my head straight and manage every aspect of the business better. Working with her is constant reminder that someone is here and watching over shoulder – so I don’t have to do as I please. Basically, her involvement has kept me on my toes and focused.
How do you feel when female customers give you a peck, especially when she’s around?
As far as I am concerned, a peck is just like a handshake. Somehow you feel a bit awkward shaking a woman’s hand because it’s really not what I am used to in this environment. People want to give a hug or a peck. That is fine as far as I am concerned. I don’t see it differently. I have been in this profession for over 12 years. So getting a peck from a female customer is pretty much normal.
How do you handle customers who particularly want your attention or insist that only you should make their hair?
Hair-do has to do with preferences. Both male and female customers have their preferences when it comes to someone touching their hair. Some say it is spiritual, some say they are not at peace when another person touches their hair. Individuals have their preferences when it comes to making hair. The only time I see people walking into a salon without preference is when they come for the very first time. Over 80 percent of people that go into a salon already know who they want to make their hair.
I think at that point it’s the creativity that speaks. It’s not any other thing and as far as I am concerned, I want every woman that comes into this place to say it must be Ugo that will make her hair. That way, you know you are on top of your game; you know what you are doing, you know that the client still needs your services and that you are relevant. The moment people start saying, oh he is not around, ok, and I will come tomorrow. Then I know am no more in the game. I have a lot of clients that come here and say it must be me.
They call on the phone to know if am around before they will come down. Even if I ask my assistant to do anything on their hair, I must still touch their hair for them to get satisfaction. I look at it as them wanting to get satisfaction, in terms of their hair looking good and being assured that they are looking beautiful and that a good job was done on their hair. I am not saying that other stylists are not good, but that is what obtains; it’s fine and welcome.
How do you cope with advances from women?
I don’t know how people see this. I have a lot of clients that are full of ego. I would not say that nobody has never has harboured such thoughts or feelings in her mind, but they have not done so physically or directly expressed it. I have a whole lot of people that are very friendly with me. I appreciate it so much because they are showing their friendship and at the same time patronizing my business.
I see it that I must keep up whatever am doing, so that they keep coming. If there is any other thing in their mind, I have not noticed it and I don’t look forward to seeing that. No matter what I don’t want anything that would ruin their feeling or make them stop coming. My customers are very classy people and I respect them a lot.
Would you want your daughters to get into this same business?
That would be fine but I will not force them. I would like to see them show interest in it, have willingness and the self-motivation to do even more than I have done. But if they discover their talent in other areas, I will give my support. What else can I wish for my children other than that they excel in whatever profession they choose. I won’t compel them to become stylists.
Hey man, that’s what I thought too until I met one Yoruba girl with a killer shape called Funmilayo in America several years ago. She used to call or say to me “olowo ori mi” which till today I dont even know what that means. Anyway, we never got married.
Olowo ori mi literally means the owner of my head. That is someone who paid my pride price.
Udam Ochiaghandigbo, olowo ori mi,means the owner of my head or life. i like this ibo man marry a youruba woman,i cant belive ibo will marry other tribes and say good about the woman. all i here or know about ibo, they always marry theirself even the woman is uylg more tha monkey,once she is ibo woman they marry and live the beautiful woman from other tribes. but now i change my mind and thinking about ibo man and tradition of marriage.
Ugochukwu, thank you very much. You have just shown others how to be a true Nigerian. For no reason we hate or have misconceptions about other people not because of our personal experiences with them but because of rumors. For example, your mother tried to discourage you from marrying a Yoruba lady because of what she saw or heard on television. More men and women with determination like yours will surely make Nigeria a better country. I wish you and family all the BEST.
If you like go and get married to a pig. Who cares.
We’re are those sentimental and tribalistic commentators , both igbos and Yorubas . wHAT arebu waiting for?
gud nigerian…
maybe ugochukwu is an igbo outcast becoz a free born wont fuck up this way. if he wants he can marry boro haramina too. a weak igbo man.
You mean bride price
I will retain my lovely IGBO bloodish and goldish SPERM in IGBOLAND..dat sperm will be injected in an igbo girls VAGINA..thats’ my VOW.
And produce another OSU
Yoruba girls are good in honoring thier men when it happens to be an igbo, marry them as an igbo man and they will go to the level of worshiping you all thier lives, i love yoruba girls with passion, and i guess i will definitely end up with them because they are sweet. I don’t know how they treat thier men but i do know that they treat thier igbo love partners with steady love and care.
@ Layi Afolabi
Wow!! That’s good to know. Maybe I should start looking for her. She’s in Lagos and I’m in Port-Harcourt.
Truth be said yoruba women are generally respectful. I love them. up north, count me out.
No tri that with hawasa girls oh if boko harah sho she will point at you were u are hieding and u no the nest that will happen
No tri that with hawasa girls oh if boko harah sho she will point at you were u are hieding and u no the nest that will happen ok
I can marry a Yoruba girl no matter the betrayal we got from their fore fathers, But Awusa because of that name…No no no no
I Think the Yoruba girl should be commended also for marrying Ugochukwu; do you guys think about what this girl had to go thru or probably still going thru for marrying an Ibo that don’t speak Yoruba language in Lagos?. He’s definitely a minority in that household, the kids are Yoruba girls for sure but Ibo last names, to lagosians, it doesn’t matter as long as they blow the language well, well. which they will, they live in Lagos. so brother-man start learning.
God be with you and your family, you are a true Nigerian man, not a tribalist , for accepting other tribe shows that you are a man of God that owns the universe.
Love knows no Boundary, some Igbo’s now marry Chinese girls. Yoruba, Igbo Hausa, Ugandan, American, German etc. or whatever it does not matter.
Marry who your heart is with. One love, one World.
This is the only way forward, i hope all you tribalistic bigots learn some sence from this. I AM FROM DELTA MARRIED TO A YORUBA MAN FROM ONDO STATE AND ITS BEEN FANTASTIC.
It’s easy to see a delta marry yoruba ! Why I hate yorubas it’s because they are betrayals and they have no sense or capacity to reason good!
You are so far from the truth.
has one betrayed you before and if yes nobody of your tribe has ever betrayed you before?
It is rather advisable for everyone to marry from his tribe; father ABRAHAM mandated his chief servant to source a wife for his son (Isaac) from his (Abraham’s) tribe. I’m an IGBO man looking for an IGBO girl. GBAM.
And you go find am. GBOSA
it takes men with guts and a high level of reasoning, exposure and understanding to do that. big up my man. I’m a yoruba, my elder brother is married to an Ibo Lady, I’m married to a Ghanian and when we all get together with my other sibblings and there spouses, its always fun galore. In our world we see human being created by God and not tribes.
Thanks jare; functional UNITED NATION.
Kinda surprise that even the 21st century and all its social media and bliss is not making a dent in terms of marital relationship between Ibo and their western brothers in the west. Yet, we are friends in the school, partners in business, in the church and all the other facets of life between this two tribes, but when it comes to marriage, everyone thought the other was bad. I know for sure one common complain about yoruba women is about their cooking, hence the term “ofe-mmanu- a not so tasty term used to describe their soup as just “oilly”. But in the real world, there is not so so difference between persons, it all depends on who you meet, and whether the relationship caught a lasting flame. Thats all. My ex from college is a beautiful, ebony complexioned daughter of Eve, whom uptil today I can tell you never offended a single fly. She is an Owo in Ondo state and thus a yoruba. She was my heart until when I left for the States. There I found out that for anything closer to marriage between she and I will take at least ten yrs, ie if everything goes smoothly. Those of us who live here knows exactly why…Akata wahala et’nl. When I told her this news, she was as devastated as I was, of ccourse the rest is history now. We are talking about 20+ ago, but even though I ended up with an Ibo lady, I never cease to think what could have been between us. Queen was the first woman that captured my heart like no other woman, yet she is yoruba, and I, “okoro”.My advice, look for love in all the places, leave tribe alone, it has nothing to do with it.
Ok nah,i have heard u guyz
I really like to marry Ibo girl n I will be happy to marry either owerri sister or Hugo sister. If those two ladies are not possible, then I will settle for Stine chykee’s sister. I hope non of these guys will object to my marriage proposal to their sisiters. Long live one Nigeria.
Have been married to the same woman for over 20 years. Love is special if u share it with your partner. Marry whoever makes u happy. Bye the way, my wife is African American.
this disgruntled spoon-fed son of a OSU agbaragba is not making good examples for the free born Umu afo and the ones yet to be born to follow up. maybe he is the bread winner in his family thats why his mother had no option than to support him in his folly. a goat and sheep no be the same thing and this kind of prick errection is not an affection or love. bastard
@Isreal…… You have no direct link to life my brother, and all that life can can offer is just a news to you if you will continue this way, am an igbo boy, a big boy to the core, and am telling you to embrass life and it’s meaning. a yoruba girl will be the best thing to happen to an igbo man in marriage. most of our girls take us for-granted and do not value what they have despite all our quality and worth in life. though some from a good home with good home trainning do make good wives indeed, but most of them have bad mothers that will corrupt them and turn your marriage into a political party, where if you are not strong enough diabolically you will end up in your early grave.
dinosaur. we do not need an element of ishmael in our fold. Its better to marry a woman of your tribe according to the Ndigbo and bible as well. Dont try to glorify what God has already condemned forever. Ppl like ugochukwu contributed to the downfall of Igbo both physically and psychologically. They embraced defeat instead of being defiant. you know history can never change and yoruba ppl are betrayers. Dinasaur… you will remain my big time brother in this life and after if you go for the woman of your tribe and also i will love to despice you like ugochukwu if u mistakenly fuck up like him. Remember¡¡¡¡ we are their hidden foe with no reason. make u clear your eyes Nwannem