I’m coping like any other widow
From CHIDI NNADI, Enugu
In the last one year Dim Chukwuemeka Odumegwu-Ojukwu’s widow, Bianca, has lived without him, she said though it has been very challenging, she is nevertheless coping like any other widow in the world.
The wife of the late Igbo leader who is now Nigeria’s Ambassador to Spain told Daily Sun that the one year anniversary of her husband’s death was like just yesterday, saying that it has been very difficult for her to come to terms with the death of Ikemba Nnewi who died on November 26 last year in a London hospital.
For six months after the burial of Ojukwu, his amiable wife Bianca even when she had been appointed ambassador by the Federal Government remained in the country to mourn her husband, wearing the traditional black Igbo mourning clothes.
And one year on after the death of Ezeigbo Gburugburu, Bianca says she is very grateful to President Goodluck Jonathan and his wife, Dame Patience Jonathan, for the kind of state burial accorded her husband, saying that Ojukwu got the best funeral in the country, one that even surpassed those staged in the past for presidents who died in office.
On the part of controversies that trailed the death of her husband, Bianca was optimistic that when the Ojukwu will is read at the end of this month by his lawyers, the issues raised after his death may be settled as she believed that her late husband was not a man given to half measures in all he did.
For the All Progressive Grand Alliance (APGA) her husband left behind as national leader, she said that Ojukwu would be surprised and amused in his grave on certain attitude of some of the leaders of the party, particularly the factional National Chairman, Chief Victor Umeh, who once said he would expose all he knew about Ojukwu’s death, saying “those who once called him ‘leader’ have shown no sense of decorum and have sunk to the lowest depths by making wild allegations concerning issues as sensitive as his health for the purposes of cheap blackmail and to settle political scores. For me this is a very deep insult for anyone, let alone someone who claims to be his party’s helmsman to inflict on his legacy.”
It will be one year on Monday November 26 (today) since your husband died; how has it been this one year without Ojukwu?
On November 26th (today), we will mark one year since my husband died, starting with a memorial service at St. Michael’s Church, Nnewi, but to me, it seems only like yesterday and it’s still very hard to come to terms with his death. When I walk into his study and his personal areas within our residence, it’s hard to believe that he won’t be coming back. Our children sometimes carry on as if he went on a long journey from which he will soon return and subconsciously, carry out the same exercises such as cleaning his shoes and arranging his closet or other small tasks which they joyfully performed for him. Though it’s been hard for all of us, I find out that it’s been most especially hard for Ndigbo to say goodbye, to accept that this is one exile from which there is no return. Ironically, in death, he has become larger than life and his persona has transcended the history books and is firmly embedded in the psyche of those who truly love him.
Immediately after the death of Ikemba how did you feel trying to begin a new life without him?
I can only say that coming to terms with the loss of a loved one is one of the greatest challenges for even the most resilient person. The past year has not been an easy one, but God has been faithful and has fulfilled His promises in my life. Sometimes, He uses human beings as angels to guide your steps. I count myself especially blessed in view of the fact that my husband had very loyal and dedicated friends who are very protective of me. Moreover, it’s been quite a busy year and being engaged in diplomatic duties has helped redirect my mind from constantly focusing on the deep feeling of loss, confusion and emptiness that invariably accompanies the death of a loved one.
Are there things your husband told you that would help you as a widow?
My husband was very philosophical about life, and this probably explains his fascination for the hour-glass, I guess, because he was a very reflective man. We were frequently engaged in conversation over endless cups of tea and he would sometimes express the most profound of thoughts, which though I didn’t realize their import at the time, have become my guiding principles today. For instance, he said that the single most important bone in the human body is the back-bone; that without it, man would remain perpetually on his knees. He would also say that the less travelled road is the most rewarding, but you only realise that when you get to the end of the road. He also made me promise him not to raise children who would become strangers in their homeland. I guess also, that being the only surviving son of his mother in a polygamous environment caused him a great deal of loneliness and fuelled his love of people. He collected friends, vagrants, pen-pals, artists and clergymen and treasured them with a passion born of a lonely upbringing. He ran an open house and was a great listener, which explained why his reception areas were always like an airport waiting lounge. He truly loved people. He would say to me that ‘Nwanne di na mba’ which in Igbo means that ‘brother-hood is universal’. He had great friends from literally every part of the country and beyond and also had a great sense of humour and from time to time would come up with a witty remark like ‘beware of any man with a weak hand-shake’! He always did say that he was quite looking forward to meeting God because he had many questions to ask for which only He (God) could provide the answers. It is said also that ‘knowledge comes with death’s release’. I guess he now has that chance.
Do you think the Ojukwu family will be the same again with the exit of Dim Ojukwu?
Well, it would be wildly optimistic to believe so. His death is akin to the fall of the Iroko, the greatest tree in the forest, the tree that provides the shelter for the birds, an umbrella for all and shade from rain and sun. He was caste in the mould of the patriarchs of old and effortlessly combined the role of sage, judge, benefactor, protector, advocate, warrior and teacher, and I can say with almost all certainty that with our Iroko gone and the birds scattered all over the forest, things will never be quite the same again. His demise has created an enormous void in our family because he was the last point of intervention, but it is my hope that the many areas in which his influence was overwhelming such as within his family, his community, his political party and most especially our people, will regenerate and in time we shall all come to terms with his departure and learn many vital lessons from his life and times.
Do you see the reading of the Will of your husband settling some of the dust raised in the Ojukwu family after his death, particularly the one relating to the Ojukwu Company?
My husband’s lawyer, Barrister Emeka Onyemelukwe, who in the last 20 years has represented him together with Barrister James Ezike in all legal transactions, has informed us that as my husband directed, the Will will be read one year after his death. We have been notified that this will take place at the High Court, which has custody of the Will, at the end of the month. The Will may or may not settle some of the issues raised following his death, but then, the Ikemba was not a man given to half measures. He was always clear on how he wanted things to be done. I believe that no matter how fair the Will is seen to be, there will always be those who would want to cause mischief and inflame an already volatile situation. Regarding his properties, I think it is safe to say that it is his prerogative to deal with them as he chooses except perhaps with regard to his Obi which is his homestead in the village, which by tradition he is expected to bequeath to his eldest surviving son. What we are going through today as a family has been the experience of many great families through the ages, especially where there are half-siblings involved. Greater tolerance and understanding are required in these circumstances.
Are you satisfied with the kind of burial given to your husband and how do you think your husband will feel in his grave with that kind of burial?
His is one of the few circumstances where the refrain ‘death where is thy victory, where is thy sting?’ rings very true. What more can I add? I think it is fair to say that nobody else in Nigeria’s history has ever been given this kind of funeral, not even presidents that died whilst in office. I will never tire of thanking the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan and his wife, Dame Patience Jonathan, because it takes great generosity of mind to bestow greater honour on a man born great. I also take this opportunity once again to thank the governors of Anambra, Imo, Ebonyi, Enugu and Abia states, as well as the governors of Akwa-Ibom, Delta, Lagos, Rivers, Cross River and Niger states for their support and pre-burial commemorations. All those too numerous to mention, who stood by us in our time of grief, all who paid condonlence visits, Ndigbo and Nigerians both at home and in the Diaspora, all the countries which sent delegations to the funeral, as well as members of the diplomatic corps, clergy and the war veterans – our family remains eternally grateful. A special appreciation goes to MASSOB and Chief Ralph Uwazurike. I would like to believe that even in Heaven, Dim Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu, knows that he has won the most glittering prize of all – the undying love of his people.
How are you coping as a widow?
I am coping like any other widow. There is no manual that effectively prepares you for the changes that take place with the demise of your other half. You learn from your own experiences and also from other people’s experiences and you also learn certain bitter lessons about human nature and the fact that some people find it easier to prey those they perceive as weak, vulnerable or defenceless. My husband would probably have been a little surprised by the attitude of some of those he considered his kith and kin. Moreover, even within his political party, those who once called him ‘Leader’ have shown no sense of decorum and have sunk to the lowest depths by making wild allegations concerning issues as sensitive as his health for the purposes of cheap blackmail and to settle political scores. For me this is a very deep insult for anyone, let alone someone who claims to be his party’s helmsman to inflict on his legacy, but then, I think he might even have found this mildly amusing. He was always very understanding of human nature; according to him, a drowning man would even attempt to clutch at a twig or straw in a river in order to save himself; therefore, in this light, this turn of events though disappointing, is not entirely unexpected.
My husband was a great shield to me and our children, but God in His infinite mercy makes each day a little better. As I said before, God will sometimes send you an angel in human form when you are weary and unable to rise and walk. But all in all, people have been kind and gracious and though I have had many challenges, I consider myself truly blessed.
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Iyom, you are surely a jewel of inestimable value. Beauty and brain and character. But my advice is this,(1) whatever the will comes up with, never attach too much importance to materialism it ruins and by your education and intergrity you will never lack, (2) You must rise up now and take your rightful place iin mobilizing Igbo women all over the world to excel in all their life endeavors (not for any political party, not for any president or politician. ( 3) APGA is not an Anambra party, the entire south-east states need to be led by APGA, and the more you align with Peter Obi and his co-horts the faster you support the disintegration of the party, as much as possible you and Peter Obi will need to separate your personal relationship and interest with President Goodluck Jonathan from the collective dream and future of Ndi Igbo. Part of the problem of APGA today is the scheme by Peter Obi to use the party to thank president Jonathan for their friendship and probably win “something” for himself after 2014. Please rise above these skirmishes.
George kalu,must everything b tied 2 politics?
George kalu you started very well in your comments and then you end up being so stupid,bias,sentimental.George your type never appreciate good things.We all knows how factiona APGA chairman mr Victor Ume wanted to be the king standing by not wanting to steping down for another person to take the position becouse he thought that the APGA chairmanship position is his birth right just like Chekwas Okorie wanted to do but thank God that we have the most wised,smart governor in the person of mr Peter Obi who is checkmate the activies of fraudsters in APGA.Meanwhile Iyom Bianca Ojukwu we appreciate your loyalty to our great leader late Dim Ojukwu even till death and donth let people like Victor Umeh to counter your effort and we wait for him to expose how Ojukwu died and cercumstances that surrounded his death,loser like him
Victor umeh is a thief nw he duped us at umuahia in 2010
Late Eze Igbo gburugburu ka obi gi zuru Ike na ndokwa amen. You remain our leader even at death. Victor umeh is a shameless he-goat
Mrs Ojukwu (my sister), the shoes of your husband are not and should not be too big for you to step into. Expect– jealousy, gossip, envy, love,hate, friends, enemies, blames,praises, sycophants,etc. But remain brave and objective etc. Accept all, filter all and get to a conclusion. Don’t jump into conclusion. The whole world is watching you.
If the Ojukwu family want it all, let them have it.Don’t fight over a pin with them. You are made already. The sky is your limit. When you finish your diplomatic job in Spain come back and go for presidency, governorship(Enugu or Anambra states) etc. And i bet you will win any position you go for in Nigeria.
Beware of the press. Give as little interview as possible especially about your family and the entire Ojukwu family.
Wish you all the best……..
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Ikemba nwannem laru ofuma
Amb. Bianca Ojukwu, i thank God for your life, especially your gift from God as an intelligent woman, no wonder Dim Ezeigbo Gburugburu insisted in geting married to you. I appreciate your comments on issues relating to your family matters. Please stick to the out come of your husband’s will and make sure you stand at the right side in all issues relating to Ojukwu’s family matters as to live long.
On the issue of Umeh and his baseless aligations, he has nothing to offer than gossip, APGA as a political party is not a private company and should be treated as political party.You are a gift to the Ojukwu family and Igbo at large.
If Late Gen Dim Ikemba Ojukwu loved the Igbos very well before he died one expects him to also extend such love to his entire family including his half brothers,sisters and children of his other wife who happens to be the hair apparant. What i am saying in effect is that Ojukwu’s will can not cause trouble in the family since there is a process of sharing the properties among children of both wives i.e children of Ojukwu’s first wife and Iyom Bianca’s children. According to Igbo tradition,whatever they got from the share will be taken to their respective mothers for safe keeping. I am happy for Iyom Bianca and i thank Mr president for elevating her to the position of an ambassador. I urge Amb Bianca to accommodate children of Ojukwu’s 1st wife and refrain from pursuing material things which she can even afford on her own with her level of maturity,education,understanding and political standing. I also urge her to use her god given position to sensitize all women especially Igbo women on their rights. Iyom Bianca must work hard to reposition the APGA and make it win more states especially in the South East and also make the party truely national. The chairmanship, secretary general and other positions of the party must be ceeded to other geo-political zones to make it truely national party. Now that Iyom is an ambassador under the ruling party PDP i doubt if she can do enough to reposition the party and make it stronger.
bianca ur heart is as beautiful u are ,l appreciate ur maturity n wisdom in handling those family issues .God will grant u more wisdom in JESUS NAME amen.Victor Ume is a wolve in a sheep skin
Amb Bianca dont be perplexed by Umes eccentricity, Nigerian politicians are very good in the act called sycophancy. As for your family wealth, you can do without it, spread your political tentacles and with God you will make more and more.
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Ikemba we wil neva 4get u! If ndi igbo have somebody like u to help OKENWA Who is following ur footsteps,NDI IGBO MUST BE LIBRATED.
Ambassador bianca pls first of all take good care of ur children,ur fight is igbos fight ikemba did not in any way abadoned d igbos he carried every body along and we wil never leave or abandoned u and ur children ok ur stil our heroes wife and u respected him til his last breath on dis earth so live victor umeh wt his propaganda we knws d truth all I wan 2 tell u is for u 2 be wise and dnt trust any body except GOD cos ikemba was a wise man so nw make sure ur more wise dan before cos u stil have big role 2 play in nigerian and in d south east,even in ur diplomatic assignment pls be wise ur vatuors woman interms of d wil make sure deres peace in d family we igbos we keep praying for u ok and be prepare 2 go for senate cos u must win d same respect and surpote we had for ikemba we igbos must still give it 2 u ok and pls make sure u help our pple in diaspora may GOD bless u and d entire ikembas family in jesus name amen
Ambassador bianca pls first of all take good care of ur children,ur fight is igbos fight ikemba did not in any way abadoned d igbos he carried every body along and we wil never leave or abandoned u and ur children ok ur stil our heroes wife and u respected him til his last breath on dis earth so live victor umeh wt his propaganda we knws d truth all I wan 2 tell u is for u 2 be wise and dnt trust any body except GOD cos ikemba was a wise man so nw make sure ur more wiser dan before cos u stil have big role 2 play in nigerian and in d south east,even in ur diplomatic assignment pls be wise ur a vatuors woman interms of d wil make sure deres peace in d family we igbos we keep praying for u ok and be prepare 2 go for senate cos u must win, d same respect and surpote we had for ikemba we igbos must still give it 2 u ok and pls make sure u help our pple in diaspora may GOD bless u and d entire ikembas family in jesus name amen