For ages men have been cheating on their spouses. They know what to say and how to manipulate women to do their bidding. Men are the mean bosses in the cheating game, the dons and the villains. When you think of a cheat, the image of a man comes playing in your head and beside him is a broken woman who reacts badly to his betrayal. The woman is usually sad, devastated, heartbroken and treated badly by her spouse.
However, if I were to give a crown to the cheat of all times, I’d rather give it to women. Oh yes women! All hail the cheating woman!! The adulteress!!! Twale to the two-timing philanderers. Cheating women are contrary to conventional wisdom right? But they do it and they are better at it.
Women delete text messages, pretend they’re working late, get shagged in hotels and sometimes bring their lovers to their matrimonial homes too. No matter how much you police her, if a woman is a cheat, she’ll always outwit you and there’s nothing you can do about it. Even if she dresses conservatively and speaks in tongues, if she’s a cheat, she’ll always look for loopholes in your rigid rules and cheat on you.
We often don’t hear these stories because of gender stereotyping but these women are out there lurking in the darkness of their matrimonial homes and playing the dutiful wife but they are men eaters. They are she-devils who are never satisfied with their husbands no matter how many rounds they take them. They just have to go get it elsewhere; they believe the other man does it better.
The difference between a cheating woman and man is that hardly do women who cheat get caught. Women who cheat are smarter and cleverer than men. They never forget their lies and they make sure they always have a solid foundation to build their lies upon. Oh bros, you think you are a good liar too? Mba nu! Psychologists say women are better liars, because they are more psychologically sophisticated than men.
Women don’t cheat on impulse like men; they plan, strategize emotionally and act. Another reason women are never caught is that they are better at keeping secrets. They don’t flaunt their cheating escapades to their friends like men do; they don’t even share it with their best friends. Many of them take these secrets to their graves and cover their tracks very well unlike the men who are easily caught. Cheating women never kiss and tell. That’s why the results of some paternity tests will shock you. Recently, an issue of DNA came up on social media and the social media caught fire. Many were afraid and like I said then, there are only two categories of wives; we have faithful and unfaithful wives. So, if you have a woman who is faithful to you, please don’t you ever take her for granted.
Cherish her like you should because , if she wants to be unfaithful to you, she can. It’s very easy and no matter how closely you monitor her, you will never catch her. She has been wired to cover her tracks very well, because naturally women think contextually and consider the potential long term consequences much more thoroughly before acting. Women are better at manipulating situations and telling relevant lies to protect themselves than men.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not encouraging cheating women in any way, but I am only telling you that if a woman makes up her mind about cheating on you, she will do it better. She go chop and clean mouth.
Women have always had extra-marital affairs and even our grandmothers are not exempted. However, cheating is a lot easier for the modern wife, because she no longer sits at home and even when she was sitting at home back then, her lover came around when her hubby was away at work.
So, now that she works outside the home, this provides her a readymade excuse of working late and she also has opportunities for business travels. Also, her financial independence and changing social attitudes mean that the modern woman has more opportunity to meet other men and start affairs.
Moreover, the use of mobile phones, Internet chat rooms and emails also help fuel intimate encounters; at a click of a mouse the cheating woman is cruising with her lover all over the globe. This doesn’t mean that all modern women are unfaithful; we have many good women who still remain faithful to their husbands and partners.
Even with all these changes, the modern woman will never come out clean about her affairs. Do you blame her? Of course not, she has been wired to cover up her sexual escapades while men have been allowed over the years to exaggerate theirs, because, society applauds men when they cheat and shame women when they do the same thing.
Oh, do you think if a female senator in Nigeria is caught having an affair, her husband will stand by her? But conversely she would gladly stand by her man. You can also imagine a female bank chief executive having an affair with a junior banker at the office and the public gets to know about it.
What do you think will happen to the woman? Of course, the board will definitely force her to resign and they will encourage the public to humiliate and tear her to shreds. No wonder women have grown to be expert liars. How many women have been told by their mothers not to tell their husbands everything?
Aside from all these, women also tell lies to protect their loved ones from pain; they are conscious of what the revelation of their secrets might cost them.
I understand that cheating is never a pretty thing and that many women who cheat have reasons for doing so. But instead of cheating on your spouse, why not talk it out with him.
If the problem is sex, you can both see a sex therapist who can help you out.
However, if you think you can’t just stop cheating on your spouse, why can’t you just take a honourable walk out of the marriage instead of living a lie. If you are cheating on your husband or partner, you don’t deserve that person and you are a traitor. My fellow women, I am very sorry if my piece today stings you but if we are friends, every Sunday, you should know I am being generous with the truth.
Remember, marriage is a union for two faithful hearts that beat as one. Stop the betrayal! Be faithful to your partner in your journey through forever.
Re: What does your husband do for a living?
Bolatito, I commend you for your article in Sunday Sun of June 18. You spoke the truth and nothing but the truth. Please keep it up!
–0803910…..83.
Thanks Bolatito for your article of last Sunday. Acts 1 scene 2, where you wrote that a woman should know her husband’s whereabouts for security reasons is apt and thanks but it’s pertinent to also let them know that their work get boundary.
–0703890….35.
No position in life can be secured and no achievement can be permanent unless it’s built upon truth and justice. This is for Evans and his kind. But my sister, I hope your advice will not bring problem in some families. Thank you.
–081703….169.
Bolatito,
There’s nothing bad in a wife asking her husband what he does for a living. But usually, no man would stand suspicious interrogation from his wife no matter how much he loves her. In my view, women should investigate their prospective husbands’ means of livelihood during courtship to prevent their marriages from nose-diving in the end.
–Lai Ashadele.
Bolatito,
your piece today is another masterpiece portraying you as a professional psychologist and marriage counselor. Keep it up.
–Prince Adams Gbenoba, Surulere, Lagos.
Dear Bolatito,
I have digested your article on women knowing their husbands means of livelihood. I give you kudos for this write up but some women encourage and fully indulge in crime with their so-called husbands. Women should be able to know whom they are dating before marriage.
I do not suggest that most women do not know their guys’ occupation, you stay and sleep with him, he makes calls, one day you should go through his call log and messages! Be inquisitive about his movement and actions.
–Anonymous
Uncommonly commonsensical in the Nigerian social reality of today. We must admit this probing task will be arduous for Nigerian married women given their economic dependence on their men but it’s worth the trouble. Every woman has a right to know everything about her husband’s business and other circumstances. Kudos.
–F. Esan, Lagos.