No one knew Maryam Sanda until she stabbed her husband Bilyamin Muhammed Bello to death recently.
The story was everywhere. People started talking about domestic violence again on different social media platforms.
Men and women were angry that a young man was dispatched to the great beyond by the woman he loved. Maryam drew the ire of many Nigerians with her actions.
It became clear that domestic violence doesn’t affect only women as some people think. Men also suffer domestic violence but they feel ashamed to talk about it. They have been conditioned to be strong and they continue dying in silence.
Domestic violence occurs between people in an intimate relationship. It can take many forms, including emotional, sexual, psychological, financial and physical abuse.
Even though men are sometimes abused by their partners, domestic violence is most often directed toward women. It is not gender-selective. Domestic violence is not a family matter.
Nobody deserves to be killed by their spouse. You have the choice to separate from or divorce a violent partner. It is not a prayer thing. Pray from afar and protect your life. If your relationship is full of violence, injuries, and stabbings, that is the time to run for dear life.
Men need to walk away from violent women if they want to live long. The most dangerous being on earth is an angry woman with a weapon. You don’t threaten such a woman. You don’t claim you are a man and can handle her. It will take just one stab in the wrong place and you are gone forever.
Men, speak out. If she’s slapping you, beating you, using weapons on you, run for your life. You don’t deserve to die like a chicken because you made the mistake of marrying a woman who loves to inflict injuries on you.
No woman has the right to kill another person’s child no matter his offense. If he cheats on you, deal with it or move on with your life instead of killing him and ending up in jail.
If you can’t deal with his lies and philandering, divorce him. You don’t have the right to take any man’s life. You will rot in jail. Marriage is not by force. If it’s not working, leave.
Leave your partner with his life intact. You don’t have to take a life you didn’t create. It is so unfair to kill a man you loved and married in cold blood.
Men, don’t say she’s just a woman, she can’t do anything. You are so wrong. Your life can be taken from you in a flash by that same woman. Life is too precious to lose it in the hands of someone you call your spouse.
Dear brothers, run away from violent wives and girlfriends. Your life is more precious than any relationship. Marriage is not a do-or-die affair. You have only one life to live. Men, leave to live. Protect your life.
I don’t understand this craze of holding on to violent partners because of culture or religion. If your relationship or marriage is toxic and full of violence, stay away from each other. Life has no duplicate. In a flash, one person can just kill the other in a fit of rage.
If you support the killing of men by their wives in cold blood, you are sick in the head. If you claim that women stabbing and killing men who they are supposed to love are a revolution against subjugation, you are a psychopath.
Something is wrong with people supporting women who kill their spouses. It is wrong to support evil when people’s sons are being killed like chickens by their wives. Violence is violence irrespective of gender.
There are violent men and there are violent women. These people should be punished accordingly if they commit crimes. There should be no special treatment for any gender when they commit crimes.
The very day society stops judging divorcées, that is the very moment a lot of people will have the courage to walk out of mental and physically abusive marital relationships.
For every death of a spouse due to violence and abuse of the other partner, there is always that story of parents, friends, churches, religious leaders etc that fought to keep them together even against their wish.
A man can kill his wife. A woman can kill her husband. A man can cheat on his wife. A woman can cheat on her husband. Violence knows no gender. Cheating knows no gender.
The important thing in life is how you handle whatever happens to you. You have to put yourself first above anybody or any relationship.
No man or woman is worth dying for. No marriage is worth you sacrificing your sanity and dignity for. No relationship is worth going to jail or facing the death sentence for.
Keep your emotions in check. Don’t allow your love for another person become an obsession. If your partner drops dead now, will you agree to be buried with him or her? So why are you behaving as if you own them?
It’s good to hope for the best in your relationship but leave room for some unpleasant experiences. Set your mind that things can go wrong. That way, no matter what happens, you won’t be caught unawares.
Look out for yourself. Protect yourself. Don’t commit a crime because you are desperately holding on to someone else. At the end of the day, the only person you will still have is yourself.
After Bilyaminu was stabbed to death by his wife, some women claimed that he deserved to die because he was cheating on his wife. May my brothers, nephews, and cousins not cross paths with such wicked women!
I am appalled that anyone would think someone deserves death because they cheated. Ladies, stop this hypocrisy and double standards. Violence is genderless.
Women are as evil and diabolical as men and we need to speak up against any form of violence no matter who perpetrates it.
Re: LADIES, BEWARE OF MEN WHO DON’T WANT YOUR PROGRESS
My sister Kate, I don’t know whether to call you a pastor or a prophetess. You always make my day. I have learned a lot from your sermons. Keep it up and God bless you. –Peter Anyaegbunam, Nnewi
Kate, you are funny. You always make me laugh my heart out with your writings. Well, you are entitled to your personal opinion about men not allowing their women to make money. It is only the person wearing the shoe that knows where it’s hurting him or her. So, hear from both sides before concluding who is an enemy of progress or not. -Hon. Peter Okafor, Imo State
Women become proud more than men when they start making money. If a woman gets an advantage over a man financially, the man is finished. Progress should not be anything goes. -Ogam Tedy
Kate, any man that stands in the way of his wife’s progress and success is a wizard. No sensible man does a thing like that. I like your column. -Dan, Enugu
Dear Kate, once again, you are right. Some men don’t want their wives to succeed and this is evil. Such men are the real household enemies. That is why some women who are praying against enemies need to be careful so that they are not widowed before time. A wife’s success promotes the family and does not diminish the husband in any way. Keep up your good writings. -Prof Obayi
Kate, kudos for your write-ups. There is no right thinking man who won’t want his wife to pursue her dreams and grow in her career. But most women are often overwhelmed by their success. Hence, they can’t manage their fame. -Uzo, Ikeja, Lagos
Kate, why do you cook up lies to destroy people’s relationships and happiness? Are you sent from hell to do this job? Please stop this nonsense. The damage you have done is enough. -Igwe, Portharcourt
You have inspired many women with your great articles. You are a great woman and believe that many of us look up to you. You are bold, daring and opinionated. You are a voice that will never be silenced. Don’t allow the negative criticisms you get affect you. I am your fan. -Rita, Aba
There is nothing greater than having your own career and your means of livelihood as a woman. Women have to follow their dreams and stop allowing men who don’t want their progress to continue limiting them. –Helen, USA
I have been reading your column for a while now and I must commend you for speaking for women in this clime. I must commend you for holding your own irrespective of the negative feedbacks and insults you get from some of your readers. Well done great writer. -Gbenga Oduyemi, Lagos
I now see why people are always insulting you. You are so biased against men. I don’t know if you have a father or a brother because you sound so angry with men.
I want to know the man who broke your heart that made you this bitter. You don’t have to hate all men, not all men are like your ex.
You need to change if you want to see a man that will marry you. With your arrogance and anger, you are just chasing suitors away from yourself. Time is going. Don’t end up an angry, bitter old maid. –Obinna, Onitsha