Women who fight to keep men are not wise. It makes no sense to also fight other women to leave your man alone. That’s his job and not yours. If your man keeps putting you in a position where you have to fight other women, you need a better man. He doesn’t love you. He is just playing games with your feelings and destroying your self esteem.
Ladies, fighting for a man’s love and attention is wrong. It shows you have underlying insecurities and low self esteem. You can’t force someone to love and show you affection if they don’t feel the same way.
Forget all the lies society tells you that if you love him, you should fight for him. You shouldn’t be fighting alone. If he’s also fighting to keep you, then it is a healthy situation. But when you are the only one fighting, you will look foolish and desperate.
I don’t believe you have to fight to keep a man. Some women believe you should, even if that means degrading yourself or settling with someone who has no respect for you and your feelings. That’s settling for heartaches in the future.
Fighting for a man to stay with you is not worth the efforts put into it. In the end, he will leave you for the woman he truly wants. So why are you wasting your time holding to a dead weight just because you want to claim to have a man you are in a relationship with?
Putting up with all the hurt, humiliation and stress that come from being in a relationship with a man who doesn’t want you as much as you want him is emotionally draining. He doesn’t have the right to take away your dignity and turn you into a jealous crazed maniac, but you do have the right to move on.
As a woman, it is your right to refuse to be disrespected. It is your right to move on and know that you deserve better than fighting to keep someone who doesn’t want to be kept. He is not the only man on earth. There are many fishes in the sea. Stop hurting yourself holding on to an unwilling man.
One of the reasons you shouldn’t fight to keep a man by your side is that he won’t respect you. He will keep chasing other women and giving you the unhealthy task of fighting them on his behalf.
If you keep trying desperately to keep him away from other women, he will keep going after these women because he knows you will continue to fight them off. If a man doesn’t make efforts to be faithful to you, stay away from him and his drama schemes.
It’s not your duty to fight other women to leave him alone, that’s his duty to you as your man. Don’t forget that. You shouldn’t be making excuses for his irresponsibility. He is not a baby. He is an adult who knows good from bad.
So, save your strength for productive things instead of snooping around his phones to track his latest catch that you will go and fight.
Also, you can’t force someone to love you. Before you get yourself all worked up and angry, ask yourself what exactly you are fighting for? Are you fighting for his love and affection or fighting to show others you now have a man? You don’t need to fight for that. That is something he has to give you willingly.
You can’t force him to love you. You can’t convince him to love you, either. You don’t have to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t freely love you. You are limiting yourself to a person who is not in love with you and you are wasting valuable time too.
Taking on the role of an insecure woman running after her man all the time can be disheartening. Some men have a natural ability to make women feel insecure. If you are in a relationship with one of these types, there is nothing to fight for. Let someone else have him.
Clinging onto someone for dear life is not happiness or love. It is imprisonment. Prolonged stress is bad for your health, so why put yourself through that hell just to keep hold of a man? You don’t need the extra stress in your life and you sure don’t need any added health problems caused by it.
It is a waste of valuable time to fight for a man’s love. You will waste too much time trying to keep him. You will spend the rest of your days with him fighting unending battles. Neither one of you will be happy. What joy and fulfilment will you derive belittling yourself for a man for life?
Fighting to keep a man makes you look needy. He has been honest with you. He doesn’t feel that the relationship with you is working out and he is interested in another person. The right thing for you to do is accept that the relationship is over and let him go peacefully, but you are so blinded by desperation that you can’t do that.
Instead, you beg him to stay with you and to give you one last chance. You pull strings and guilt trip him into remaining in the relationship with you. He is not happy and you are an absolute mess. You are acting desperate and needy. The more he runs from the relationship, the harder you cling to him like gum. Why don’t you just respect yourself and move on?
When you are in a relationship where you feel that you have to constantly fight for your man’s love, fight for his attention, and fight other women to leave him alone, you are not in a healthy relationship. You are in a personal hell that only you can break free from. Let go of that man if you are miserable, knowing full well that your soul mate is out there. You can find him if you stay true to yourself and do away with desperation.
Ladies, stop breaking your own hearts. You have to know that fighting for someone’s heart or faithfulness is a battle you will never win. In your journey through life, you need to find a man with the same relationship values as yourself.
Fighting to keep a man in your life is not worth it. You deserve so much more. If a man is not matching your own efforts in making your relationship work, leave him alone. There are many men out there who would love you and treat you right. Ladies, stop that desperation to have a man at all costs.
Re: Men, are your children truly yours?
Kate, how do you know all these things especially the secret lives of our holy mothers? I blame civilisation and our type of Christianity for all these things that women do. I pity men of these days. We are fast losing the world to bad women. But I thank God for my wife and I know why. -Ogadimma
You always write to mock men but we cannot be mocked. Channel your energy to the person who broke your heart. You always show your colour as an angry and bitter woman who cannot stay in a man’s house. You must be an agent from hell for writing rubbish. What you wrote is capable of breaking many homes which will make children and women suffer. Your mind and soul is corrupt and you will jam destruction very soon. -Emeka
Kate, you will not kill me with this hilarious and informative piece. It is on point but you are still sounding like a feminist. The Bible supports divorce when there is proven infidelity with children as proof. So, it is better God does the judgment than DNA. What you don’t know won’t kill you. –Kingsley
I disagree with you at the end of your column. I believe you can divorce your wife because of adultery. The Bible abhors that and supports divorce in such situation. –Nwachi, Umuahia
You are looking for atomic trouble. You don’t know the number of people that read your column especially Igbo brothers who visit the village every December to pick random wives. Conducting DNA on one’s children will tear many homes apart and soon there will be harvest of divorces. This issue is dicey and dangerous. Let it be. –Akosa, Onitsha
Kate, did you go to the University? If you did, is it only penis and vagina that you studied? Your column is not good for teenagers. Stop corrupting them before God gets angry with you. -Rev. Emeka Emefo
Your views are full of humour which leaves your readers wondering the sources of your information which are true and correct in the modern pig house called family. Many men are raising children that are not biologically theirs. Both parties are guilty and only God can save us. –Yohanna
Galadima, Kaduna