Anybody that is against your progress irrespective of who they are is an enemy of progress. It doesn’t matter if the person is a parent, a sibling, a lover or a spouse.

Any man or woman who doesn’t want you to improve your life and go after your dreams is an enemy of progress. Forget all that talk about slowing down because you are a woman and there’s a limit to what you can achieve.

A man who truly loves you and appreciates your presence in his life won’t stop you from succeeding or doing things that will bring you success and fame. Only insecure, control freaks do that and try to justify their wickedness too.

Unfortunately, many Nigerian women are married to their enemies. They meet these men, date them, marry them and have children for these men who get angry when they start rising to the top.

Some men are not happy when their wives become successful or earn more money than them. They start plotting ways to clip these women’s wings. They arm twist these women to give up their dreams because they feel less with their women succeeding. That is when they start quoting meaningless Bible verses just to make sure these women stay down.

I don’t know how these men who deny their women the right to go after their dreams feel having sex with such women. You are not afraid for your life. You deprive a woman of something important to her while quoting culture and tradition or the Bible and you still close your eyes beside this woman every night. You guys have iron liver!

I have heard so many stories about women whose destinies were destroyed because they had the misfortune of marrying their enemies. I have wept after hearing some of these stories.

I keep wondering why many Nigerian women continue to allow insecure men destroy their lives and future because they married them. Why should these women stop living their lives because they got married? Who made these annoying rules for women to follow? Why don’t men give up their jobs and dreams too for their women?

Last week, I heard a story of a young girl who was dating a guy and all was well with their relationship until she told him that she was going for her Masters degree. He vehemently opposed her idea of getting another degree. He claimed that women who are educated don’t make submissive wives. He was angry and didn’t hide it from her.

They were getting ready for their marriage next year but the guy threatened to call off the whole thing if she dared go for her Masters. She thought he was joking until he started calling her parents to complain that she won’t make a good wife because she has refused to obey him.

The young lady’s mother begged her to let go of that dream and settle down because time was no longer on her side. But her father warned her about marrying such a man who sees her improving herself as rubbing shoulders with him. He told her to further her education if that was what she wanted. Her issue with her fiance started causing problems between her parents too.

The annoying thing is that this boyfriend who felt threatened by his girlfriend’s dream of going back to school won’t contribute a dime to her education. She has been working for years and has been saving for her education. But this insecure boy thinks he has the right to stop her from doing that because he was dangling marriage in her face like a carrot.

Unfortunately for this young lady, she listened to her mom who kept pressuring her that marriage was more important than a master degree. Her mom kept saying that a woman’s education will end in the kitchen and she wanted to carry her grandchildren too. The young lady would live to regret that decision.

Months after she suspended going for her Master’s degree, boyfriend who was zero husband material by the way impregnated another girl and married her. He claimed that the other girl’s family forced him to marry her and he had no choice. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when I heard this story.

I wanted to laugh because that lady was stupid for putting her life on hold because of a man. I wanted to cry because I imagined the pain and heartbreak she must have felt when the man she sacrificed her education for knocked up someone else and married her also.

This young lady lost on both ends. She didn’t get the husband neither did she fulfill her dream of getting her Master’s degree which would have given her opportunities to rise higher in her career. I pity young ladies who let go of their dreams because of marriage.

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I heard another story of a young lady who had the opportunity to travel abroad for her Master’s degree too but her boyfriend started acting up. He threatened to call off their relationship if she travelled. The funny thing was that it was her parents who would sponsor her trip.

She reached out to some people asking for advice on what to do. Many average Nigerian women told her to listen to her man and forget acquiring another degree. What should one expect from those women who have given up their lives too because of marriage?

I am just glad that she called his bluff and went ahead with her plans. Today, she is studying her choice course abroad and planning a better future for herself while her ex boyfriend is looking for another victim he would destroy her dreams with marriage proposal.

I have heard many stories of women who were threatened to give up their well paying jobs because their husbands felt threatened by their successes. These women were commanded to resign and start up businesses. The sad thing is that no one asked them if they wanted to do business in the first place.

I know a woman who was emotionally blackmailed by family members to give up her six figure paying job because her husband claimed she was no longer submissive because she was earning more than him. Today, she is a shadow of herself while husband man is busy hopping from one hole to another.

Why should women be giving up their dreams and careers for men and marriages? Why don’t men make such sacrifices too for their women and marriages? Why should successful women be reduced to housewives by their husbands against their will?

No woman should give up her career or dream for an enemy of progress even if he is her husband. If a man you are dating or planning to marry tells you to give up your dream of being successful, ditch him. He’s an enemy of progress. He wants to reduce you to nothing. He wants to take away your financial power so that you can be at his mercy.

Ladies, stay away from men who feel threatened by your success and accomplishments. God didn’t create you to be second best. You are a woman who has the right to live her dreams. Ladies, say no to enemies of progress who come disguised as boyfriends and husbands.


Re: MEN ALSO NEED TO FIGHT FOR THEIR MARRIAGE

You really made my day with your article last week. Most of the points you raised in the article are mostly associated with African men based on some unwritten African traditions. But that should not be an excuse to maltreat women or leave them at the mercy of wicked men. Indeed, men need to fight for their marriages too. –Egbo Egbo, Egbeda, Lagos

Kate, thank you for what you wrote last week. I want to say a big thank you for that beautiful write up. It was really great to read your eye-opening thoughts on marriage. -Uju Okoye

Kate, your women liberation journalism is based on alien culture rather than Nigerian/African culture. Not even in the so-called free societies are your weird ideas practicable. You should stop poisoning the minds of our good women who value our culture in relationships and marriages. Agreed, there are some problems but not as you often over blow them especially in relation to men. You better find your way to the United States and marry there. –Chioma Papa

This is another masterpiece from you Kate. I concur with you partially because in some cases, the reverse is the case. Some men nowadays are suffering the same fate from women but statistically, women suffer more. –Dr. Uche, Enugu

You are a bad influence to the society and a disgrace to women folks. Stop talking about relationships and marriage, you are a devil. It is only a dummy or a non-entity that will marry an evil person like you. I know by now you may have killed up to seven men and married up to eight men. You are a killer who will never go unpunished. –Orobo Ibo

Kate, honestly, you have saved many young girls from taking wrong decisions in marriage. You say it the way it is and I believe that’s the reason you also publish negative criticism you receive from your readers. You can as well ignore them and heaven will not fall. Keep it up and continue to value all your readers especially those antagonizing you. To me, they are the source of your inspiration. Well done and God bless you. –Chinedu Uzoeshi, Abuja