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Is your prince charming a yahoo boy?

He is tall, dark, handsome, charming and a smooth talker.  He treats you nicely. You dine in luxurious hotels and never care about the bills. He funds every dime of every date.  He constantly makes you feel pleasantly astonished with amazing treasures that sometimes you can’t help feeling guilty at all the perks you are enjoying.  With this, you are having all the Cinderella moments and you think to yourself, this man has to be your soul mate. And to cap it all, he tells you that he also feels the same way. 

Sometimes these guys are educated and at the other times they are not but they are calculative and know the right things to say to con your heart. They are very good at it. Once in a while, you get some warning signs and you are tempted to ask what he does for a living. He gives you stories like he is a businessman, an importer, and contractor. Or he warns you sternly never to ask questions that have no answers. But you can’t help wondering what he does with all the laptops and group of friends hovering around him like bees.  He has no office he reports to every morning and no physical thing to prove the kind of business he does. Often times when you stay over at his place and wake in the middle of the night to pee, he buries his head on his laptop and doesn’t even notice you are awake.

More so, your rich boyfriend isn’t even from a rich home because you have met his family members a few times and there is no correlation between his lavish lifestyle and his background.

Sis! If you are dating any guy that fits this description then your presumed rich boyfriend might be a Yahoo boy.

However, some guys won’t even hide it from their women. They are known yahoo boys in the neighbourhood and they wear it on their sleeves like it is royal apparel. They go to the most expensive nightclubs in exotic cars and buy the most expensive drinks. It’s such a sad thing that yahoo boys are becoming epidemic and young boys now aspire to be a yahoo boy in future. Unfortunately, it is so glamorous that even good boys are tempted and getting into these criminal activities with reckless abandon.

Let me share a story of a young boy I know and I will call him Dapo.  Dapo was being mentored by a male friend of mine who works in Telecommunication Company and so he frequented my friend’s home. Dapo is in the university but my friend got him a part-time job in a telecommunication company, though the job only fetched him a stipend, it’s very flexible and has been sustaining him in school.

However, a few months ago one of Dapo’s friends returned from Ghana, they were childhood friends and he has suddenly become rich. He rented a duplex and came with an exotic car. Dapo was depressed; he has been working hard all his life but could barely make ends meet. He realized that his friend was a Yahoo boy and so he started rolling with him. Two months later, he told my friend he was no longer interested in working and that he wanted to relocate to Ghana. My friend did all he could to persuade him to have a change of mind, but his mind was already made up. Dapo relocated to Ghana and we haven’t heard from him since then.

Every time I remember this story my heart aches because this is a promising young boy who was snatched away by the lust for Yahoo Yahoo. There are so many young men like Dapo out there.

Just last week, the operatives of Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC raided Club 57 in Ikoyi, based on intelligent reports that some suspected internet fraudsters were having a good time there.  12 suspects were arrested and 10 exotic cars abandoned by the fleeing suspects were also recovered.  Yahoo boys have been trending that is why I have decided to set today aside to look at the women in their lives. I am talking about women who love them and who shield them despite knowing that they are dangerous.

I have seen these women hang around these guys like they are harmless but it breaks my heart knowing that all Yahoo guys, no matter how clean they look, are mean and shouldn’t be trusted.  So, entrusting them with your heart will only get it shattered. Honestly, I don’t get what these unhealthy attractions are to them because no matter how cool, calm and collect they seem to appear, they are heartless desperate criminals who even go diabolical sometimes too.
Well, I do love to believe that some of these women don’t know that these men are criminals. They are probably reasonably attractive to their women and tell very good stories about their current situation and ambitions. Obviously, they are always of good behaviour during the wooing process and get their women all dazzled with pampering but afterwards, they start seeing the real men.

But I won’t also deny the fact that there are some women who go hunting for Yahoo boys because they have money to dole out. However, I have few words for every single girl who is in this kind of relationship; you are just an accident waiting to happen.  It is true that you have a legit job yourself and you are not involved with your boyfriend criminal activities but you will be getting hooked with the most scandalous group of people you really did not want to be associated with.   If you are a wise lady and you have found yourself in this kind of relationship, I think you should just take a walk before EFFC starts questioning you or you get the bullets flying over your head when there is crossfire. Also, be reminded that these guys of questionable character visit babalawo’s and dibia’s to get themselves fortified, so when they are asked to bring a sacrificial lamb they might not hesitate to take you to the slaughter slab.

We have been screaming about women empowerment and equality and men with criminal tendencies are usually ultimate male chauvinists. They think the world revolves around them and so every woman in their lives has to do their biddings. You dare not challenge such men and you have to always meet their wishes. The interesting thing about these men is that some of them find women who are very much like them. Women, who seek excitement and adventures. These relationships are unstable and often problematic as they both struggle to control the other. The relationships are usually short-lived because they only use each other for sex and money. The second set of women these Internet fraudsters love to have affair with are insecure women and emotionally needy women. These ones are more common with criminals because these women are easily swept off their feet by these men. They capitalize on the lack of self-confidence, greed and make them develop an unhealthy psychological and financial dependence on them.  Moreover, for these relationships, domestic violence is usually a common feature. So what are you doing with these kind of men? Girls, associating your happiness with material things only shows you are greedy, go and get your hands soiled. Go, work hard for your money and stop latching onto your Yahoo boyfriend.

His money is only for a season and that means that the relationship has no future.  Stop being a needy!

 

Re: Does your spouse have access to your phone and social media accounts?

I am that kind of person that likes privacy. Even before we got married my phone has a password but to avoid too much story I let him know the password. But I don’t have that time going through his phone.
Uju.

Men will be the first to strongly kick against having access to their phones. For them, love doesn’t extend to that area.
—Tessy

I personally do not like people going through my stuff without approval and I believe that feeling should be mutual with whoever I’m involved with. Couples should find a way to balance communication in their relationship without snooping on each other.
With the advent of social media, a lot of shit going on right inside those phones why not spare oneself heartache by pretending not to care about what goes on there for your peace of mind.By the way, I don’t need to snoop any phone to detect a cheating man, the smell oozes from afar
—Jenifer.

My hubby doesn’t have access to my phone and I also don’t have access to his phone. We like it that way
—Grace.

Bola, reading the dialogue between Joromi and Kamilu, in your piece on the spouse having access to partner’s phone and social media accounts, shows that Joromi have some personal secrets; as long as such secrets do not affect their relationship.
—Lai Ashadele.

Spouses having access to their phones and social media accounts are the last assurance needed as far as love, trust and understanding in marriage are concerned.
Let me make this clear to those who can understand this, the best marriage on earth is where two fools get married to each other while the worst marriage is where two wise people get married to each other! May God save marriages in Nigeria.
–Romanus ID.

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Online Editor: Aderonke Bello
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