The Federal Government has congratulated Mo Abudu, Chimamanda Adichie and Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde, on the honours recently bestowed on them on the global stage. He called them great ambassadors of Nigeria. Minister of Information and Culture, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, said the three honourees are iconic women in the Creative Industry, who have brought great honour, not…
Koko: Can you hear the cacophony going on outside?
Kaka: Caco….. what?
Kaka: A lot of noise, sir.
Koko: There is freedom to make noise in Nigeria. It is all part of democracy
Kaka: It does not worry you?
Koko: People are just making a mockery of their rights. They have no respect for the president who has done so much for them.
Kaka: So much what?
Koko: Are you saying the president has not tried?
Kaka: Please make a list.
Koko: Ha ha, so you are one of them?
Kaka: No speaking in tongues please. Say it as it is, one of who?
Koko: The people that are plotting against the president. Treacherous insatiable lot. The country was almost in the doldrums when APC came on a rescue mission and now things are better, yet….
Kaka: Things are better, right? I agree with you, so let’s go dancing, eat sushi, drink a few shots of vodka and live happily ever after.
Koko: Go dancing when the roof is on fire? Are you being serious right now?
Kaka: Bro, make up your mind. You said things are better. I said let’s go dancing and now the roof is on fire, which by the way is the title of a major party song in the 80s, remember?
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don’t need …..’
Koko: For God’s sake, be serious Kaka?
Kaka: Is everything not honky-dory again? Is the rescue mission not on track?
Koko: The cacophony is deafening.
Kaka: Let’s go dancing oh la la la.
Koko: Too many people are talking at the same time
Kaka: That is one definition of cacophony. Thank God not everybody is talking at the same time.
Koko: So we should wait until everybody starts talking at the same time before we do something?
Kaka: What do you mean by ‘we’? Talking in the year before the elections is normal. It’s what we do. Nothing new.
Koko: So, you are not worried?
Kaka: What is there to worry about now?
‘Come join the people
Come on everyone, let us have
Some fun, universal party….’
Koko: Why do I have this feeling that you know about the conspiracy going on all over the place?
Kaka: Conspiracy to party?
Koko: Conspiracy to upset the apple cart of the APC.
Kaka: I thought all the people were doing was talking.
Koko: Not just talking. Not all the people. Some are talking. Some ministers of the president are not on talking terms.
Kaka: Wow! Two or three grown men keeping malice is now a national problem? My brother, I hope all is well with you?
Koko: It shows discord in the kitchen cabinet.
Kaka: No, it could just be two men fighting over one banging body.
Koko: Banging body?
Kaka: A woman with a to-die-for Manchester and Arsenal curves. The type Rita Dominic, the actor, described as a full premier league team body
Koko: You think so?
Kaka: Women have had that kind of power even over world leaders, according to history. So, don’t panic because two or three ministers are keeping malice.
Koko: What about the absence of the south west APC Governors and chieftains at the opening of the president’s campaign office in Ibadan?
Kaka: Maybe they were not informed or had previously arranged engagements.
Koko: All of them including the host governor? Something is fishy. I smell a rat
Kaka: Something is wrong with your nose. Do people go everywhere they are invited? It’s nothing to worry about.
Koko: It’s the beginning of a grand plan to undermine the president. It part of a grander conspiracy. If you are going to be honest, you’ll link that Oyo plot to the Red Card movement by Dr Oby Ezekwesili.
Kaka: You are just being paranoid. Look, the fact that south west APC chieftains were not in Ibadan for the opening of PMB campaign office may just be a storm in a tea cup. After all, there were south east APC chieftains there, what if the south west chieftains are also planning to be at the opening of the south east campaign office in Enugu? It’s one Nigeria now.
Koko: Huh, so there is no link between the Red card movement and all the other conspiracies?
Kaka: What other ones? You really need to calm down otherwise you’ll will burst an artery o
Koko: The Obasanjo letter is damning and damaging.
Koko: So what?
Kaka: What do you mean so what? Baba is an institution. He has the ears of the owners of this country.
Koko: Oh please, we all own this country
Kaka: My point exactly. Now he has everybody’s ears .
Koko: He has only one of our two ears let APC get the second ear.
Kaka: You still think this is a joke the man’s letter is a vote of no confidence on the APC government.
Koko: The old man has only one vote.
Kaka: You are pretending not to get the point. OBJ’s coalition is a harvesting organ, He wants to harvest the political juggernaut in both APC and PDP and use them against PMB.
Koko: Baba was born a letter writer. He has been writing letter since time immemorial. APC is standing on solid ground. PMB should write his own letter too.
Kaka: I’m not too sure the kind of ground APC is standing on …..
Koko: You think it is clay or muddy ground?
Kaka: I know it is not solid ground. The men who helped Buhari get into office are not really with him
Koko: You think they have gone to coalition for Nigeria?
Kaka: They are lacing their boots and pretending to still be with PMB.
Koko: You are imagining things.
Kaka: No I’m not. The PDP member in Kwara are already crying wolf in Ilorin when the wolf is still in Abuja. They are begging Prince Uche Secundus to buy bullet-proof vests for their political structure.
Koko: They have nothing to worry about. The wolf is still In APC, solidly behind PMB .
Kaka: You think? PMB government allowed a whole senate president to be out in the dock.
Koko: That whole Senate President is a normal jailable Nigerian. He was accused of an offence and he has defended himself.
Kaka: He has? Can you swear that he is not lacing his boots or not in CNM already?
Koko: I do not have to swear to anything. Don’t let letter writing generals kill you before your time. This too shall pass.
Kaka: That was what Jonathan and PDP thought. This time there are too many coalitions, conspirators .Did the generals not hug and share jokes in Addis Ababa after the letter-writing things? Did El-Rufai, an APC governor, not write his own letter before OBJ?
Koko: South-west governors absent at south west launch of PMB campaign office.
Kaka: You said that already.
Koko: OBJ’S coalition was flooded by APC and PDP members.
Kaka: Those ones are just spies, not CNM members.
Koko: The ministers who seems to be working at cross-purposes?
Kaka: That’s a wild rumor.
Koko: So, how come only seven of the APC governors have endorsed PMB?
Kaka: The remaining ones will eventually.
Koko: What about the Fulani herdsmen and all this talk about 73 dead because cows need to graze? Nepotism and lack of respect for national character?
Kaka: Some people are just wicked and cannot see anything g good in this government. Don’t let wicked rumours ruffle you.
Koko: Your assurances even sound fake. I think the chickens have started eating each other’s intestines.
Kaka: Those are treacherous chickens with morbid taste for the absurd.
Koko: I think PMB needs to be careful about treacherous chickens around him.
Kaka: They won’t succeed. Some intestines are sacred and off-limits. Even the most daring chickens won’t go there.
Koko: I think the sky is bleak and icy. I shudder at what tomorrow will bring.
Kaka: I see a bright blue sky and designer dancing shoes in my future.
Koko: Looks like you know something I don’t know
Kaka: I always do. Always.