Kai, your destiny must be very lucrative and I wonder why it’s not working for you while it has become an oil block for your wife. Her juju man must be very good. She must have buried that charm in the beach where you can never retrieve it and so you have no choice but to remain poor.
Excuse me sir, if you believe this is the reason for the success of your hardworking wife then shame on you. You should know by now that I won’t throw a pity party for you. Shame on you.
Many women have been raised to believe that men are supposed to be breadwinners and we all gladly lived that lifestyle. We all embraced and saw it as the normal way of life, but lately, things have changed in many homes. Women are now earning more in significant numbers than men, because they are better educated now. Also, men are losing their jobs because of the recession.
Moreover, we all know that our fathers all derived their sense of self from providing for us all. Our fathers protected us and even became our cheerleaders when new roles and opportunities came for their daughters in their careers. So, why have our husbands refused to rejoice with us?
After all, we all wrote the same JAMB, attended university, came out in flying colours and worked hard. So, if a woman earns better, it’s because she deserves it and not because she used jazz or slept her way through.
They have made this so bad to the extent that when we get a better job we don’t know whether to be depressed or triumphant. Why? It’s because many husbands feel intimidated and insecure when their wives earn better.
Most of these men don’t rejoice with their wives but instead they look for ways to break them or kill their dreams.
They come up with different stories about how their wives have grown wings and how they no longer cook their meals. Some are even more creative with their lies as they will tell you they have proof that their wives have been committing adultery with their bosses and all these allegations exist only in their heads.
The adultery ploy sells fast, because many Nigerians believe every woman who is doing well must have slept her way up the ladder of success. So, when a jealous husband sells this to his family they all believe without verification. Do I blame them? Of course I don’t. After all, women are lower humans and less intelligent than men. How can a woman who is less endowed with logical reasoning become a boss? How can she earn more than her male counterpart? How can this same woman who cannot survive without her man break boundaries in her careers without a man? So, tell me how she has been able to win that contract, if she didn’t sleep with everyone high up there? These are the crappy stories they have been peddling about ambitious women over the years. If you think I’m talking too much, take a critical look around and you won’t be surprised that for every successful woman out there, there’s always a gist about her sleeping with someone high up. Don’t you people get tired of these stories?
Dear husbands of successful women, why don’t you just bury your pride and celebrate your woman? Why can’t you flaunt her to everyone around? Stop listening to what your myopic friends are saying! Not all ambitious women slept their way up there and your wife can be one of the hardworking ones who deserve all the gains of hard work.
Don’t come and tell us the sad story of how you used to be a breadwinner and when things went sour she suddenly changed. A good woman will never change immediately, she will tolerate all your inadequacies but she has limitations too. Yes, that’s the truth. Women are not wired to be the sole provider, they are helpmates and so when there’s a reversal of roles they can get irritated at some point.
Interestingly, a man needs to work twice as hard if he is married to one, because these women can be secretly frustrated and disrespectful, if their spouses don’t match their expectations and earning power. So, instead of you peddling lies against a woman you vowed to protect because of jealousy, go get busy!
Oga, channel all that “she is using my destiny” into how you will be able to make money. Even if you can’t match what she brings in, you can at least bring in something.
Stop lazing around and stealing her money to play lotto. Stop drinking yourself to a stupor during the day. You are embarrassing her, if you don’t know what to do with your time and help her with the chores. Yes, I said that. Of course, you don’t expect a tired wife to come home and start doing chores when you have been at home all day gossiping with all the housewives in your compound. Chores don’t make you less of a man. If you lived abroad with her, you’ll do chores; so stop showing us that you are a macho man in Naija. And to your in-laws, if your son is doing chores in the house, it doesn’t mean his wife converted him to gbewudani (a fool), stop fanning embers of discord in their family. Leave them alone.
In my few decades on earth, I have come to know that the first person who goes around spreading tales is usually the wrong one and so, I never judge until I listen to both sides. So, to every father, mother, sisters and brothers in-law don’t believe everything your son comes to tell you. Tell him to stop wasting the little money he has on spiritual baths and charms to get himself fortified against his wife’s jazz; he’s only wasting his time. Even if he washes his head in the water at Eleguishi beach all through the year and he’s a lazy man then he will die in penury. The only remedy for laziness is hard work. We all know he was once a big boy but we have heard enough. He should get up and stop living in past glory. He should stop holding an innocent woman responsible for a bad business decision he made long ago. The ill luck he is suffering is not because he had sex with his wife before that business transaction; it was because he made a bad decision.
Although, I do understand that there are terrible wives, but I insist there are good women around who are ready to help their husbands rise up again. If your wife has a thriving business and you are out of job, why don’t you join her in the business? I have seen couples who did that and their businesses are booming. Stop finding faults in your wife, because she’s doing well. Be her number one cheer leader and you will also be happy.
However, my dear women, you should also understand that men have very fragile egos and your man is not different.
Please, during these trying times, support him too and help him massage his fragile ego. You should be realistic about your different earning potentials and work things out. To everyone out there, let us start to rewrite our stories; women who earn better should not be scandalized and should not feel threatened that success would affect their marriages adversely.
Re: Most women who cheat are never caught
I loved your write up of last week and this current one. Most women who cheat do it to get even with their promiscuous husbands.
–08081….829
I read your article on cheating and wished that article would be made available to most women out there. Your write up is so much in touch with reality. Keep it up ma.
–Felix Ohwobevughe, Warri
99.9% of women cheat either in the early stage of their marriage or in the later part of it. Men know, because we discus it in clubs and joints. But what do we do? Our prayer is that our children are really ours. Statistics has shown that 45% of children today are bastards. The church is not helping matters and the myth and juju our fathers used to checkmate them isn’t working because women have antidotes for them. Bola it’s a woman’s world.
–080630…644
Bola, I really commend your perfect advice to those impatient women cheats that are busy sleeping around with other men at the expense of their husbands. May God continue to give you knowledge with more facts to teach them so that they can refrain from this evil. Amen.
– Isa Tambari, your attentive follower
Bolatito, I don’t know how to thank you on the article about women cheats. The truth is painful. That’s God’s work and He’ll reward you. This is the best article you have written since you debuted. You have really exposed women who indulge in the cheating game and equally vindicated men like me that believe vehemently that women are bigger cheats than men. Continue to spread the gospel. People are fast in labeling men as cheats which provides women cover to cheat.
–Eziefuna S., 08035961814.